Choices

I wiped my mouth and flushed the toilet as I stood up off the ground. This was the third time this week I'd woken up with a stomach virus. I figured it was something I'd eaten in Mexico, but it was already almost a week since we'd been back. Besides, Jonah had eaten everything I'd eaten and he seemed perfectly fine and healthy.

Jonah knocked on the bathroom door before his head peeked in.”Hey babe” he grimaced at the sight of my weak limp body.

I grunted. “You know I hate for you to see me like this” I gestured for him to close the door. He walked in instead.

“Are you sure you don't want me to stay home?” He asked as he tucked his shirt into his pants. He came up behind me and caressed his hands over my back.

“No, really....” I sighed. I wouldn't have minded if he stayed home, but I knew without him at work an entire staff would be out of commission. So I lied instead. “I'll be fine. I'm actually feeling a little bit better.”

We went back and forth until I finally convinced him to go. He hesitated as he pulled his belt through his pant loop holes – going slower and slower with each pull.

Jonah left and I went back to bed. I'd been in the bathroom dry heaving long enough for the sheets to be nice and cool when I greeted them once again. I laid restlessly staring up at the ceiling until I decided to grab my phone and catch up on Instagram.

That's when I saw I had a missed call from Rebecca and a text from Kadie. I was a little surprised to see she'd given me a call so early in the morning, but I scrolled past it and went to Kadie's message.

Made your favorite tomato basil soup. Can I come by this afternoon?

Sure I texted back.

I was just about to call Rebecca back when I drifted into sleep. I was jolted awake when I heard Kadie's boney fingers knocked rapidly on the door. I looked at the time, not realizing how quickly it passed, when I saw multiple missed calls from Kadie.“Lynn!” she shouted “Wake up!”

I scurried to the door, still wrapped up in my blanket, and opened the door. “I'm so sorry!” I profusely apologized. “I fell sleep”

“Oh Lynn, look at you!” She held my face with one hand and examined it. “You poor thing!”

My nose scrunched at a sudden smell that had infested my nose. I grimaced. “What is that pungent smell?”

Kadie looked taken back and sniffed the corner of her jacket. “I don't smell anything besides my perfume”

“No, it's not you” She released a breath of relief. “It's like, a sodium smell, or something.”

“Sodium?” She asked as she put a container of soup on the kitchen counter. “How can you smell sodium?”

I came to the conclusion it was the soup. Kadie denied it. She said the soup didn't have a smell and even if it did it was in an air tight container. Either way I put it away in the fridge.

“Did you hear from Rebecca?” Kadie asked as we sat down on opposite ends of the couch. I leaned my back against the arm rest, still wrapped up like a burrito.

“She called me earlier, but I fell asleep before I could call her back.”

“You'll never believe what she told me.” Kadie's smile grew as her right eyebrow shot up. It was something she always did when she shared exciting information. Almost like an, I know something you don't know, look.

“What?” I causally asked, but Kadie hadn't responded in attempt to add some thrill. “What??”

“She's moving to New York!” Kadie squealed. “She'll be here by the end of the month!”

“What!” I was pleasantly puzzled.

Kadie gripped onto my knee making sure I heard her. “But, don't tell her I told you!”

I agreed and asked why Rebecca decided on a sudden change. It was so unlike her. She was a southern belle in every way. The few times she'd been here she seemed to enjoy it, but that's only because she'd be here for a couple of days at a time. I couldn't imagine her actually living here.

“She said she's tired of the same old. Apparently she'd been contemplating it since we left.” Kadie shrugged her shoulders. “I mean, there isn't much going on there, ya know?”

“Wow” I whispered to myself. “That's interesting. Does she have a plan or anything?”

My cell phone rang cutting off Kadie's train of thought. I leaned over to grab it from the coffee table. It was Sarah. She'd been worried about me missing class and wanted to drop by to give me my notes.

“Sarah's coming by” I warned Kadie.

Her eye gleamed. She hadn't seen Sarah since “the incident” which is what we were all referring to the obscene video of Woody and Sarah playing at Kadie's wedding.

“I know what that look is, K.” I gave her a look. “She didn't do it with malicious intent.”

“I never said she did!” Kadie held up her hands accusingly. “I just find it highly inappropriate, that's all.”

I rolled my eyes. “Anyway, she's just down the street she'll be here any minute.”

I knew Kadie wasn't angry with Sarah, but she always has a way of making people feel guilty. We were on total opposite ends of the issue. She was offended, rightfully so, while I didn't think it was a big deal. I think Kadie was more invested in it because of her relationship with Woody. He'd always been like a big brother to her and the fact that she hadn't known about his feelings towards Sarah threw her off.

I was still feeling weak so Kadie opened the door when Sarah rang the bell. There was a second of silence before Sarah greeted Kadie. I could just imagine the level of awkward flowing between the two.

Sarah finally burst, "Kadie I'm so so so sorry." 

Kadie waved her hand stopping Sarah. "Don't worry about it. I know it was an accident." She looked over at me as if to say 'Happy?'

I smiled back. Kadie continued as the two walked over. "How are things between you two anyway?"

"Woody and I?" Sarah seemed caught off guard. "That was just a one time thing. I don't know what had gotten into me."

"Apparently Woody" Kadie mumbled. I rolled my eyes, I knew better than to think Kadie could play nice for so long.

Sarah chose to ignore her. “Hey Lynn” She made her way over and sat on the ottoman across from me. “How are you feeling? Still got the bug?”

I groaned, clenching onto my stomach.

“That bad?”

“It's worse in the morning, but I've just been feeling more irritated than anything.”

Sarah's eyes widened. “Do you think...”

I leaned forward. I knew what she was going to ask. I can't believe I hadn't thought of it before.

Sarah's eyes shot over my shoulder at Kadie who was walking towards us from the kitchen. She lowered her voice with each word.“Do you think you might be pregnant?”

“Oh my God” I gasped and covered my mouth.

“What?” Kadie looked up from her phone.

Sarah leaned in, “It could very well be a possibility”

I shook my head in denial, “Nooo” my voice drowned out as I thought about it.

“What could be a possibility? What's going on?” Kadie sat down eager to get answers.

Sarah ignored her and kept asking me questions.

Kadie finally picked up “You're pregnant!!” she belted.

“No!” I quickly responded. “I'm not! I can't be. I mean, I don't think I am.”

“There's only one way to rule it out.” Sarah looked at me hopefully.

I covered my face with my hands and felt a single tear roll down my cheek. I felt scared and disappointed in myself. I didn't realize that I'd forgotten my birth control pills until after we arrived in Mexico. We were only there for a couple of days and the ignorant teen voice inside my head convinced me nothing would happen.

“Lynn don't cry!” Sarah tried to comfort me as Kadie wrapped her arms around my shoulders. “We're not even sure yet if it's true.”

“I'm just..” I tried to talk without sobbing. “I can't be pregnant, I'm too young and I still have to finish school and Jonah just started his career...and..”

“Shh” Kadie cut me off. “It's okay, your life isn't over.”

“That's right” Sarah agreed. “Besides, if you are pregnant, wouldn't you rather it be with Jonah than some dead beat? At least you know he'll take care of you. I'd be surprised if he wouldn't be ecstatic by the news!” Even though Sarah was just saying things to make me feel better, I knew she was right. “But, Lynn, you don't know for sure yet. Let's not jump to conclusions.”

My phone vibrated next to me. I picked it up to see a text from Jaime. He was wondering if I was feeling any better.

No, I'm fucking pregnant!!!! I texted him back.

Within seconds he gave me a call. His voice boomed through the phone eager to get answers. Sarah rolled her eyes and shook her head. I explained to him what happened and he, like Sarah, thought I should take a pregnancy test. So, without hesitation, he told me he'd grab a test kit and meet me at my place.

“Jonah's gonna be home soon” I panicked. “What am I suppose to tell him?”

“The truth” Sarah said the same time Kadie said “Don't say anything”

I waited impatiently as Kadie and Sarah both tried to calm me down. I thought that if something like this was true, I'd know it. But, I didn't. I couldn't feel anything but anxiety. I kept thinking about how, within an hours time, my life could be turned completely around. I wasn't ready for this.

Twenty seven minutes later Jaime arrived at my apartment. I knew because I'd counted every minute. He barged in and tossed a couple of test kits onto the table and handed me one. “They all look weird, I didn't know which one you'd prefer.”

I was already halfway into my room by the time Jaime was done talking. I quickly ripped the box open and skimmed through the directions. After I was done, I left the stick on the bathroom counter and walked back out into the living room. “Two minutes” I breathed heavily. “Keep me busy for two minutes.”

Our heads turned to the front door. The sound of rustling keys and the door opening caught our attention. Jonah walked in, but stopped.

“Hey guys” He looked confused. He quietly pulled his keys out as he made eye contact with me. “What's going on.” I didn't say anything. Neither did anyone else. “Are you feeling better?”

“No” I bursted. “I'm not fucking feeling better! Why does everyone keep asking me that?”

Everyone's eyes stared at me in shock. “Lynn is just...” Sarah tried to explain my behavior when Jonah cut her off.

“What is this?” He asked as he saw the boxes of pregnancy tests. “Lynn” he said the same way Ricky questioningly called on Lucy. He took a minute to piece the puzzle together. The same way I imagined I looked when Sarah asked me if I thought I was pregnant. Blank at first and then a sudden burst of shock.

“No, you can't be pregnant!” Jonah nervously pulled his fingers through his hair.

“What do you mean I can't be pregnant?” I asked. I was more surprised than irritated. This wasn't the reaction I was expecting from him. Than again, I wasn't expecting any of this.

Sarah knew what I was thinking, after all she's the one who convinced me Jonah would take the news more gently.

“I meant, that's great if you are, but..” He stumbled over his words.

“Okay” Kadie's voice rang through the apartment. “Let's just stop you right there buddy.” She held onto Jonah's shoulder and walked him onto the opposite side of the living room. “She's crazy enough as it is.” I heard her whisper.

“I'm not crazy!” I objected. Suddenly my speech slowed down and I was unable to make out my words. I felt my lips trembling again. “I'm...I'm just scared.”

Jonah pushed Kadie aside and made his way back to me. His arms wrapped around me embracing me so tight that it felt like we were the only two people in the room. I felt a bit relieved. He didn't have to say anything for me to know how he felt. I just knew by the way we stood there together.

“Congratulations Jonah on distracting Lynn. Something I'm sure only you were capable of doing.” Jaime pulled at my arm. “It's been too minutes!”

“Oh my God” I covered my mouth. “I can't. I can't do it.” I squatted down onto the floor.

“Do you want me to bring it here.” Kadie asked. I nodded my head.

Kadie walked back with the test. I'd stuck it back into a container hoping not to see it until I pulled it out. Jonah, Kadie, Jaime, and Sarah sat across from me on the couch. I felt my hands trembling as I began pulling the stick out. I looked up again. Jaime was nervously shaking his leg, Jonah was completely leaned forward covering his mouth with his hands, and Sarah and Kadie with eager eyes.

I never thought in a million years I'd be standing in front of my boyfriend and three of my closest friends staring down at a stick I peed on.