Friends With Benefits

It had been an hour since I was pacing outside of Connor's apartment. I kept replaying Kadie's voice in my head. I finally gave in and knocked on his door. I knew what I was doing wasn't right. This isn't the person I am, but dammit, I really needed to relieve some stress!

Connor opened his door smiling, happy to see me. I stormed into his apartment dropping F bombs and throwing my arms in every direction trying to explain how frustrated I was.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa! Calm down!” Connor grabbed both my shoulders and squeezed them. “Why don't you go sit on the couch and I'll make a couple of drinks for us” He turned me around and nudged me towards the living room.

I went to go sit down when I noticed a magazine flipped open. It looked like Connor had been reading it before I knocked on his door. I pulled it towards myself realizing it was a New York Times magazine. The page that Connor was reading was an article about him and his new office he just opened in the city. I was surprised and wondered what was so special that a well known magazine would run a story on him.

Just as I was picking up the magazine Connor came by with drinks in hand. He placed them on the table and took the magazine from my lap. He closed it and tucked it away in the coffee table's bottom shelf.

“What's that all about?” I pointed to the magazine.

“Huh?” he grabbed a drink and handed it to me “Oh, nothing.”

“The New York Times has an entire page article on you, and you think it's nothing?” I sat up straight and looked at Connor questioningly

“It wasn't about me. It's about the new building that my office is in. I guess I'm the best looking doctor there, so they used me as a model.” He half smiled and took a sip of his drink.

I squinted my eyes at Connor not sure if what he was saying was true. Instead I changed the subject back to my problems. “I just don't get why she's in such a hurry to move in with him?”

“Who's in a hurry to move where?” Connor seemed confused. I guess he hadn't caught any of my ramblings as I came in through the door. Before I could answer he put up his hand to shush me, “Ah! Forget I asked. I don't think we should mix personal with pleasure.” He leaned in, breathing on my neck, before he kissed it.

My eyes closed at the touch of his lips on my skin. I felt a chill run through my body. I leaned away from Connor,“This was obviously not a one night thing. And I have a feeling it's not going to stop after tonight. Can we just set rules now?”

Connor dropped his head and pulled away from me.“This isn't Friends With Benefits” He said while sighing

“I'm shocked you even know that movie” I picked up my drink and took a sip without breaking eye contact.

“A movie about sex with Mila Kunis, I mean really, come on!”

I shrugged. “Point taken”

“Fine. You want to set rules?” Connor picked up his glass. “Rule 1: No mention of personal shit”

“Okay” I put my drink down and added on “Rule 2: No falling in love. I'm not looking for a relationship and I don't want anything past what we're doing.”

“Couldn't agree more. Rule 3: We're free to see other people outside of this. No getting jealous” he narrowed his eyes at me

“Deal” I stuck out my hand

“Deal” Connor took my hand and shook it. Our eyes met as we looked up from our hand shake. He pulled my arm so that we were now forehead to forehead. I slightly pushed his shoulder causing him to lay down on his back. He pulled my body over his and just like that we were at an agreement.

By the end of the night we were left laying on the couch. Our bodies still entangled. Connor reached over head to grab a throw. He threw it over us while we held onto each other. We spent the rest of the night cuddling and kissing. It felt so good which is why I didn't question it. I was surprised Connor didn't try to immediately run. But, after the day I was having, being in his arms felt comforting.

The next morning I woke up to an empty apartment. I found a note on the coffee table. Connor left it letting me know he went out to the gym.

I still had an urgency to vent about my night. I knew I couldn't talk to Sarah about it because she was a common friend of ours. I didn't want her to pick sides on issues. So, I pulled out my phone and texted Jaime. We met when my parents came into town. Even though we hated each other at first, Jaime really opened up. He's brutally honest, which is why I would always text him when I needed clarification. He was good about putting things into perspective. And, most importantly, he isn't afraid to call me out when I'm wrong.

A few minutes passed before Jaime texted me back.

Let's meet for breakfast

I took a quick shower and changed into my clothes. I grabbed my coat and my purse and headed out to see Jaime. Connor's apartment was a few blocks away from NYU, so we met at a breakfast cafe in the middle.

On my way over I walked past a news stand. I noticed they were selling the new issue of the New York Times. Intrigued by the article on Connor, I bought a copy.

When I got to the cafe Jaime still hadn't arrived. So, I pulled out the magazine and flipped it open. Just then I heard Jaime's voice.

“What's going on?” He approached the table with his arms open for a hug.

“I don't know. I feel like things have been such a mess lately.” I closed the magazine and stuffed it into my bag before I got up to hug Jaime.

A few minutes later a waitress came by to take our order. I started by telling Jaime about Kadie and Adam. How they'd just barely met and were already planning on moving in together.

“Can I be honest?” Jaime pushed his coffee away from himself. “I don't think it has anything to do with how long they've known each other. I think it has to do with Kadie leaving you.”

“Kadie and I have been friends through many distances. We went to different colleges, studied aboard in different countries, and we've had different friends. Plus, I moved here when she had no intentions of coming. I'm not afraid of losing her to distance.”

“But, you're afraid she's leaving you for something that you want. Face it, Lynn, you wish it was you and Jonah that were moving in together.” He pulled his coffee back towards himself and took a sip.

“Well shit” I dropped my fork in my plate. I started thinking about what Jaime said while I stared off into space.

“You need to apologize to her. If it's a mistake she's making, then it's hers to make.”

“You're right” I finally caved, and admitted.

“Of course I am!” Jaime huffed.

We both laughed as we continued to eat our breakfast. After having a break through with the whole Kadie situation I thought I'd get Jaime's opinions on Connor.

“Kadie thinks Connor's bad news. I know he is, but I'm not planning on having a relationship with him.”

“So what's the problem?”

“Kadie thinks something like this is going to hurt me”

“Lynn, the same goes to you about making your own mistakes” Jaime sighed “You're young and you're in med school. I'm almost done with my second year and I can tell you that it does not get easier! If you can have a non-committed non-relationship, then go for it! Have fun!” Jaime nudged my shoulder teasingly.

Jaime was right. I needed to stop making a fuss of things and start going with the flow.