Moving Along

“Call me when you land”

I gripped Jonah's hand tighter before we leaned into a hug. We were standing outside his apartment yet again, saying our goodbyes. This time I was able to keep myself composed. There wasn't any snotty-nose-ugly-crying going on.

Jonah and I spent the entire weekend together (with the exception of Sunday after noon when he went to visit his family in Long Island.)

We stayed up all night on Friday talking, and well, doing other 'things'. It wasn't until the sun started rising that we'd realized what time it was. Our conversations and kisses slowed down into a quiet slumber.

Late afternoon on Saturday, when we'd finally woken up, the weather still looked pretty bad. It was cold and snowy and nothing looked more appetizing than the blanket we were wrapped up in. We decided to stay in and do some damage on Netflix.

On Sunday, Jonah insisted I come with him to visit his family. If he'd been in town longer I wouldn't have minded. But, I thought it would've been unfair of me to rob his family of those few hours they would have had to spend with him. So, instead, I stayed at Jonah's place and cleaned up while he was gone.

He came back into town Sunday evening. And that's when we decided to stop avoiding the elephant in the room.

“Jonah, I know I told you I love you, and I want nothing more than to be with you. But-”

“You want to see other people?” Jonah stopped washing the dishes. We'd just finished eating dinner. He turned the faucet off and wiped his hands on a dish rag. His expression was unreadable. He turned around and leaned his lower back on the counter while folding his arms across his chest. His hazel eyes looked down at the floor, defeated.

“Of course I don't want to” I fiddled with the drying rag in my hand finally placing it down. I stood in front of Jonah and leaned against the island. “But, I don't think it's fair of me to stop you. I can't give you what you want from across the country.”

Jonah continued to look down in deep thought. We stood in silence for a moment before he looked up at me. “So, let's just say, hypothetically, I was to go back to L.A and find a girl friend. I end up falling for her and she decides to move back with me to New York?”

“Then...” I stared at Jonah as he waited for my answer. I kept telling him to not wait for me, but I hadn't actually thought about it. Just imagining Jonah with another woman was making me feel uncomfortable. “Stay with her. If she's what makes you happy, then stay with her.”

“Really?” He raised his eyebrows

“Really.” I said firmly.

“Great!” He turned back around to face the kitchen sink. “There's this beautiful girl I can't keep my eyes off of. She's been teasing me but I've been holding back. I guess I can go for it now, huh?” He looked over his shoulder at me.

“Jonah!” I playfully punched him.

Jonah laughed and grabbed my arm. He pushed himself up against me while wrapping me in his arms. “I'm kidding” He leaned down so our foreheads were touching. “See, what I mean? It's not so easy is it?” He gently let me go.

“Of course it's not. But, it's something we both have to do.” I was stern with my words.

“Fine” Jonah took a step back and held up his hands.

Shortly after we had fallen asleep. And now we were here. It was just barely Monday morning. The sun was sitting low, hiding behind buildings, waiting to rise. The air was so cold every breath was visible. A cab driver had already pulled up and put Jonah's suitcase in the car.

“I love you” Jonah leaned down.

“I love you, too” I tip toed to meet Jonah half way. We kissed a slow kiss, the way lovers do. We held our gaze for a moment before Jonah got into the cab. There I was, yet again, waving goodbye to Jonah.

Once the cab had turned the corner I headed back to my apartment. When I walked inside Kadie was still there. She was already dressed for work. She had her iPad out reading an article while eating breakfast.

“Well, look who decided to come home” Kadie grinned as I walked through the front door. “How was you're weekend at Casa Del Jonah?”

“Oh you know” I put my bag down on the table and sat next to Kadie. “It was probably the most amazing time I've ever had with anyone...”

Kadie read the expression on my face “Until...”

“Until I basically told him to move on” I sighed and leaned my head on my hand. “Right after I finally told him I love him”

“Oh, Lynn!” Kadie put down her spoon and rubbed her hand on my arm sympathetically. “So, what's going to happen now?”

“I don't know” I looked up at Kadie, “He's not sure when he's coming back. We really can't go anywhere, relationship wise, until he knows.”

Kadie's phone started vibrating. It was one of those obnoxiously loud vibrations that shook every thing around it. Including my bag. There wasn't anything inside except for my tooth brush and some clothes. The strap of the bag fell over revealing the New York Times magazine I bought a couple of weeks ago. I had completely forgotten I had it.

I pulled it out of my bag to read. Kadie got up from the table to answer her phone. I flipped through the pages to find the article on Connor. I couldn't help but cover my mouth with each sentence I read. A few minutes later Kadie came out of her room.

“Lynn? Is everything okay?” She walked up behind me to see what I was reading. “Isn't that Connor?” She pointed at the picture of him.

“Oh, my God” I turned back to Kadie. “Why the hell did I just read this?” I slammed it shut and tossed it across the table realizing why Connor wanted to keep personal and pleasure separate.

“What happened?” Kadie stood up straight and furrowed her brows.

“It makes sense now” I said to myself as I remembered how Connor humbly lived in a tiny apartment. “He gives 75% of his earnings away to charities benefiting children"

“That is so sweet” Kadie said while taking a seat “But why?”

“Apparently, he was a premature baby with a bunch of health issues growing up and his family struggled to pay for his health care. He didn't want any other families to go through that so he became a doctor to help other families financially. It says he does a lot of pro bono work while also giving away most of his paychecks.”

Kadie and I sat in silence and stared at each other.

“Fuck” Kadie whispered. “Kudos to him!”

“I don't get it” I shook my head “He's such a asshole.”

“Maybe he's just an asshole to you because of everything you put him through.”

“Like what?” I questioned

Kadie dropped her shoulders and gave me a really look.

“You're right.” I looked off into space “He was so sweet the other day. He was so normal.”

“Perfect timing” Kadie pinched my side as she stood up. She started grabbing her purse to leave for work.

“Huh?” I didn't understand what she was referring to.

“You just told the guy you truly love to move on. And now you're falling for the guy you're casually sleeping with”

“I'm not starting to fall for Connor!” I angrily responded.

“Okay” Kadie whispered as she walked away “But, don't say I didn't warn you.”