Come Fly With Me

I finally made my way through airport security with half an hour to spare before my flight. This was it. This was the last time I would be in Texas.

When I finally found my gate, I plopped my bags down, and let out a great big sigh. I'm not sure if it was a sigh of relief or nervousness. But I was sure that this would be the beginning of a new life.

I slid into my seat so my head could rest on the back of the chair. My sweater had risen up a little bit as I had done so and I hadn't attempted to pull it down. My hair was half pinned with a ton of fly-aways and my boots were just barely on.

I was so excited to finally pull out my tan knee-high Tory Burch riding boots. The thing about Texas is, we only have one season and that's Summer. I had spent so much money on these damn boots I was determined to wear them any chance I got. Which was a grand total of one week in December when it's actually considered “cold” or anytime you leave the house before the sun rises because it's below 80 degrees and that's reasonably chilly to us. So today, I was in luck. Even if it meant jumping from wall to wall to pull these suckers off.

If there's one thing my mom taught me about traveling, it's to always hold your biggest coat in hand. It saves you a shit ton of space in your suitcase. I would always smirk at the flight attendants when carrying my two carry on items and a coat. As if I had found a loop hole in the system and some how out witted them in their own game. But I was definitely regretting it at this moment.
 

I inhaled a deep breath and slowly shut my eyes. I started to think of all the amazing memories I was leaving behind. I was born and raised in a small town in Texas. My whole life was here. My parents, all of my friends, but most importantly my best friend since grade school Kadie and my high school sweetheart Joshua.

I had to stop myself from reminiscing about the past. Because thinking about the past only brought me back to thinking of the future. My mind had started filling up with unanswered questions. Was I making the right choice? Would I be okay in a big city filled with unfamiliar faces? Who would I call if I was lost? I could feel another anxiety attack coming on.

I had dreams of living in New York since the day I was born. I saved every penny I had until my sixteenth birthday and took my first plane ride to the City. I have to say, I left a piece of my heart behind. I yearned for the day I would be able to go back. And now I had the perfect excuse. I was accepted into Mount Sinai's medical program. The past four years of my life were endless studying and turning every social outing into group studies. As annoyed as my friends had been, it worked out in my favor. I was finally about to live out my dream. It was the first time this thought had occurred to me.

When I found out I was moving to New York. I was ecstatic, of course. But that's when the initial jitters came in. Being from a small town, I started thinking a big move like this was unrealistic. I may have gotten into Mount Sinai, but that doesn't mean I would be able to make it in the City. I was just a small town girl living in a lonely world taking the midnight train going anywhere. (Okay so that last part may or may be lyrics to a Journey song. No telling.) This sudden anxiety made me hesitant to tell my friends. Nothing would be more embarrassing than backing out at the last minute. I would have been known as the girl who failed at accomplishing her dreams.

Aside from my parents, Kadie was the only other person to know about my recent happenings. She's been my biggest supporter. She thinks if someone has a chance to reinvent themselves, they should totally go for it. Which is why I'm here. I decided to take Kadie's advice and leave everything behind. Start over fresh. Even if that means leaving behind Joshua.

I know what you're thinking. It's so sick and twisted of me to not give my boyfriend of 5 years a heads up that I'm leaving to a completely different state and that I probably won't see him anytime soon. But, I was scared. After we graduated college there had been rumors that Joshua was going to take the leap and propose. Which pre-acceptance letter, would have made me the happiest girl in the world. But now that I knew I was being given a chance? And to not take it? I didn't want to end up like every other girl in this town. Married and pregnant before the young age of 24. Getting together for play dates and complaining about a life that could have been. This just wasn't for me. And I couldn't bare to look into Joshua's eyes and break his heart.

Which is why I never told him I was leaving. I figured a clean break would be good. We could both move on without either person being around. It would be easy. Kadie may have encouraged me to go, but she was completely against how I was choosing to leave. I promised her I would tell Joshua before I left. But I knew I wouldn't.

Once I received my acceptance letter everything was so hectic. It seems like such a blur now. All I remember from the last few months is graduation. I walked across the stage, threw my hat into the air, and then...and then I was here. Sitting with my eyes half open, slouching in my chair, and my hair everywhere. I sat up and fixed my sweater.

I couldn't believe I was just now having this revelation. All my hard work had paid off and I was finally about to become a resident of New York. Even if it came with a hefty price of enduring Medical school. Even if it meant leaving my boyfriend behind. Even if it meant I was the worst person alive.

What was I doing? How could I just leave him like that? I felt my eyes well up with tears. By the look of the man sitting across the waiting area I must have been making my Kim Kardashian cry face. I straightened myself up while trying to blink back the tears.

Finally the flight attendant came over the PA and began the boarding. I grabbed my bags, took one last look around and made my way into the plane.

I shimmied through the narrow aisle (damn you, coach!) and found my way to my seat. As I sat down I was shocked at what I had seen.

Standing at the entrance of the plane, with luggage in hand, was Joshua.