Thursday, July 30, 2015

Winter Is Coming

“I'm still upset with you, mom.”

I rolled my eyes as I answered my phone. I was woken up from the vibrations on my night table. It was Thursday morning and I'd been meaning to call my parents. Despite my tone, I was glad my mom called me first.

“Honey, I'm just calling to warn you....” Her voice was quiet and calm on the other end.

“No” I didn't pay attention to what she was saying. “You need to understand that this is mine and Jonah's wedding. I don't care if Aunt Linda or cousin Bill is there or not!” I lowered my voice when my mother's words finally caught up to me. “Wait, warn me about what?”

“Speaking of your family...” It sounded like she was at work by the way she was shuffling papers around. “Your Aunt Betsy is in New York.”

My heart stopped beating as I rose like Frankenstein from my bed. “Okay...anddd...” I spoke slowly with a lump in my throat.

My Aunt Betsy is one of those people you desperately avoid getting stuck in a conversation with. She's full of inappropriate questions and unsolicited advice. Aunt Betsy was a teacher for most of her life, but after 'having an epiphany' decided to leave her career to travel the world. Now I have to hear her say 'croissant' in a horrible French accent every time she talks about how much she misses her morning walks to her favorite Parisian bakery.

So, when my mom said she was in New York, this is exactly what I was hoping NOT to hear:

“She wants to stop by and see her favorite little niece.” My mom sounded as if she were holding back a laugh.

“This isn't funny, mom.” I buried my face in my hands. “I have so much going on!”

“Honey, what was I suppose to tell her? She's your dad's oldest sister. As much as she eats at my brain she's still family.” She sighed when I didn't respond to her. “You don't have to make a big dinner or anything. Just have her over for tea and send her on her way.”

“We don't drink tea in the City, mom.”

“Well then some cappuccino frappuccino lattes, oh, whatever you kids are drinking these day.”

A good chunk of my morning was spent anxiously staring at my phone waiting for Aunt Betsy's call. Maybe if I stared at the phone long enough I could send her a telepathic message to leave me alone.

It didn't work.

Aunt Betsy called late in the afternoon wanting to stop by. I lied and told her I was busy planning for the wedding, but she insisted on stopping by. I finally gave in. It was better that she came while Jonah was still at work or else she'd never leave in hopes of telling him every bit of information she knew.

I scurried around the apartment trying to hid things that seemed like conversation starters and dumped them in the guest bedroom.

My eyes widened and my ears perked up like a cat when I heard a knock at the front door.

I held up my prayer hands and quickly whispered to myself. “God, I know you might be pissed that I'm considering converting to a different religion, but please just do me one last solid and make my Aunt Besty leave soon.”

I took a deep breath...and then another one because the first one wasn't enough. I opened the door with a fake smile which was instantly wiped away when I saw Jonah standing with two full paper grocery bags.

“Are you insane?!” I pulled his arm, dragging him into the apartment, before checking to make sure Aunt Betsy wasn't in the hallway.

“My hands were full, I couldn't pull my keys out my pocket...” Jonah stared at me concerned and confused by my anger.

I continued staring out in the hallway as I whispered loudly. “What are you doing here? You need to leave, like, right now!”

“Is everything okay?” Jonah asked as he put the bags of groceries down on the kitchen counter.

I held a fistful of Jonah's shirt in my hand as fear filled my eyes like a character from Game of Throne who knew that death was upon them. “Aunt Betsy is coming!”

Jonah slowly nodded his head and took a step back. “Okay.”

I'd been so busy cleaning and freaking out that I didn't have time to fill him in.

“She can't see you!” I pulled at Jonah's arms again and dragged him back to the front door. “I don't have time to explain! You need to leave!”

Jonah mumbled under his breath “First you complain that I'm never home then you kick me out when I'm here...”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah...” I shooed him away.

“Oh!'” We heard a shriek as Jonah walked out the front door and right into Aunt Betsy.

Cue to my body slowly melting on the floor.

“Aunt Betsy!” I greeted her through my teeth as I faked a smile.

“Lynn, darling, how are you?” She walked in and gave me a hug before she turned back towards Jonah. “And who is this tall drink of water?”

Jonah smiled as he introduced himself.

“Of course, I've heard so much about you!” Aunt Betsy turned back towards me as she took Jonah's arm and walked into the apartment. “Dear, do you mind grabbing my bag?”

“Oh, Aunt Betsy, I didn't know you were planning on staying.” I held my breath.

“No, no” she wiggled her fragile little hand around. “I'm going to New Jersey to stay with my friend Janice. She should be here in a couple of hours.”

A couple of hours?!

“You know I met Janice when I was in Belize. Was it last summer or the summer before?” She turned her attention back to Jonah. “Have you been?”

Jonah sat across from her in the living room. “Yeah I actu-” He wasn't even finished before she continued.

“It's such a beautiful country! Janice was doing some humanitarian work there. I wish I could say the same, but I was just sitting on the beach enjoying my drink.” She laughed to herself.

“So, Aunt Betsy what brings you to town?” Jonah asked. I slowly made my way over and sat next to him.

“I had a stop over here, so I thought I'd enjoy the city and the presence of my favorite little niece”

I gave her another cheesy fake smile.

“Stop over? Are you coming or going?” Jonah seemed interested.

He furrowed his brow as I nudged his knee and whispered. “Stop asking her questions.”

“I'm just on my way back from Spain. I was there for the last couple of months.”

“Wow, that sounds like fun.” Jonah smiled. I dropped my head in disappointment. I knew exactly what was coming.

“Honey, you have to believe me when I say it was the best vacation I've taken in my life. And I've been just about everywhere! But enough about me...”

I looked up at her puzzled. Those were words I'd never heard her say.

“How's everything coming along between you two?” She leaned forward as she spoke.

“Everything's great!” I quickly spoke, knowing she'd continue badgering us with question if I'd said anything else.

“You know, in my day, couples lived separately until marriage.” She raised an eyebrow questioningly

“Well” I shrugged my shoulders. “These times they are a-changin!”

“Nice Dylan reference” Jonah whispered.

“He must be good to you, huh?” Aunt Betsy winked. “Real good if he got you to move in.”

“Wow, Aunt Betsy, that's so inappropriate.” I stood up from my seat and went into the kitchen. I was trying to figure out what I could possibly feed her before I kicked her out.

Aunt Betsy followed after me. “I will say this is a nice place. How much did it cost?”

Jonah, answered as he joined us. “It cost us our first born child, but only if it's a boy” They both laughed.

I widened my eyes at him. I wasn't sure if my parents told her I was pregnant. Either way I didn't want to be the one to tell her or I'd never hear the end of it.

I started pulling the groceries that Jonah had brought out of the the bags.

“Let me help you dear.” Aunt Betsy insisted as she stuck her hands into the bag. “Oh” She cooed as she pulled out a plastic bag filled with croissants.

I tilted my head and sighed as I looked at Jonah. “Really?”

“What? They were making them fresh!” Jonah defended himself.

“How I miss my fresh baked croissants!”

Jonah's face quickly flinched as he was startled by her butchered French accent.

Over the next couple of hours she managed to tell Jonah all about her year in France, her sun-bathing days in Croatia, her safari rides in Africa, and countless other, frankly, boring adventures.

“You want to check in with Janice?” I finally asked. We'd already gone through three cups of tea and a box of cookies.

“Oh” She suddenly remembered as she checked the time. “You're right. I hope everything's okay with her.” She walked towards the dinner table for some privacy as she called her friend.

“I'm so sorry” Jonah sounded defeated. “I didn't realize someone could talk so much about nothing.”

“It's okay, babe, it's okay. I'll keep you safe.” I joked as I wrapped my arms around his.

“Is there a powder room here I can use?” Aunt Betsy asked as she put her phone away.

I pointed across the room. “Of course, it's just down the hall.”

Before I could finish she opened the door to the guest bedroom. “Here?” She asked as she looked inside.

“SHIT!” I whispered.

“Oh my goodness! Would you look at this!” She excitedly exclaimed as her eyes feasted on the room full off hidden conversation pieces..


Hello Loves,

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Sunday, July 26, 2015

Yes To The Dress

Thank you all for being so patient with me these last couple of weeks that I've been sick. Bronchitis in July is a million times worse than it sounds, but I'm happy to say that I'm finally feeling like a normal person again! I love you all and I hate when I have to skip out on a week, even if I'm convinced that I'm on my death bed, so to make up for it here's a bonus post. Enjoy!!


“This is so frustrating!”

I angrily whispered to Jonah as I squeezed my temples between my hands.

The party was over and everyone had already gone home. Mostly everyone. Kadie and Adam stuck around in hopes to calm Jonah and I down.

“I know” Jonah silently mouthed and rolled his eyes.

Our parents were still on FaceTime talking to one another. Or better yet, forming an alliance against us.

“Mrs. Barnes, I see what you're saying, but...” Adam tried to use his sweet lawyer voice on my mom, but she wasn't having it.

“Now Adam, I know you're trying to stick up for your friends, but would your mother be okay with you going across the world to get married?”

Adam sighed. He'd been going back and forth with our parents for the last ten minutes and nothing was seeming to work. “I get what you're saying Mrs. Barnes, but....”

My mom cut Adam off again. “So, you agree then, what's with the but?”

“Oh my God, Mom!” I sprang out of my chair and towards the iPad displaying my parents shocked expression. Even Anna's eyes widened when she heard my loud voice.

“Lynn” Jonah tried to pull me back to cool me down. I flinched my hand instead so he wasn't able to reach for it.

And then, I did it. Only a mere twenty-something years later I finally stood up to my parents.

“Jonah and I are going to get married! We're gonna get married and it's gonna be in Italy! It's going to be just like my dream, okay?! On some really high cliff in a beautiful garden that over looks the ocean and some random old Italian town...”

“Alright, a little off topic there” Kadie spoke from the side of her mouth. “Reel it in bud.”

“Anyway..” I was still shouting even though I clearly already had everyone's attention. “I just want Jonah and I to have this one thing!” I loudly smacked the back of one hand against the palm of the other. “And I'm sorry, I love you Anna, I love you mom and dad, but this wedding is suppose to be about us! Jonah's career is quickly taking off and this baby is going to be here sooner or later and I'm sorry I need to fit into my wedding NOW not five years from now! So either you're coming with us to Italy or not.”

I huffed out the last tiny bit of breath I had before I threw my arms to my side and walked back to the couch.

Jonah rubbed my arm gently, almost as if he was scared to, and whispered, “are you okay?”

“Yeah, I'm fine.” I sat back and folded my arms.

“Well, I think it's been a long night for everyone.” Anna tried to politely end the conversation.

“Yes, I think we should all take a breather...” Clearly my dad was talking to me... “And we can talk about this later.”

They said their goodbyes before Kadie and Adam shut off the iPads.

“What was that?” Kadie managed to ask between her giggles.

“Pregnancy hormones.” Even though I was heated I knew I must've looked ridiculous just now. I couldn't help but smirk at Kadie's expression.

“So, it's set then, Italy in a month.” Adam's voice trailed from across the room.

“Italy in a month” Jonah and I repeated in unison.

It wasn't until the next afternoon that Jonah and I started to second guess our decision.

We sat across from each other at a tiny bistro down the street from our apartment. We'd just made our order and were waiting for our food. It was always within those 15 minutes that our inner thoughts would reveal. I guess waiting for food makes us go to some deep places.

“Do you think we're doing the right thing?” I traced an invisible line on the table with my finger.

Jonah shrugged his shoulder and looked out the window. “I think we're doing what's best for us.”

I folded my arms and leaned my elbows against the table. “Yeah, but is it the right thing?”

“I don't know” he mumbled. “I feel like it is, but I hate seeing my mom so adamant about something like this.”

“Yeah, me too.” I sighed as I joined him in staring out the window. “Wait a second...” I jolted back in my chair. “Why don't we just have a party when we get back?”

Jonah furrowed his brows as he thought about it. “Wasn't the whole point to avoid the obnoxious crowd of random people?”

“Yeah” I shrugged. “But, at least this way we can get the intimacy we want and they can get the endless family and friends that they want.”'

Jonah curled in his lips as he thought about it. “You might be right.”

“Oh, come on Jonah. I'm about to be your wife. You really need to form the habit of saying that I'm always right.”

After Jonah and I ate lunch we headed back to our apartment to call Anna. She was iffy about the whole thing. “The ceremony is the whole purpose” She argued. “Are you kidding, Ma? No one cares about the ceremony! People sleep through it!” Jonah argued back.

They went back and forth...and back and forth, until Anna finally gave in with the compromise. I knew it was mainly because she felt bad about my behavior the night before. Maybe I should be using this pregnancy to my full advantage more often...

I knew my parents would be a little bit harder to convince then Anna so we agreed to talk to them the next night. The more time they had to think about it the better.

Later that afternoon Kadie and I decided to go dress shopping. We needed to pick out a dress for the girls to wear and I still wasn't sure what I wanted.

“What are you going to do if you don't find anything?” Kadie asked as we browsed the racks of a bridal boutique.

“Positive vibes, K.” I rolled my eyes at her. “I mean it doesn't have to be a bridal dress really. As long as it's a dress and it's white.”

Kadie mumbled under her breath, “sounds like a wedding dress...”

“Why don't you go find something that'll look flattering on the girls?” I gave her half a smile. “I'm going to try these on.” I held up a couple of dresses that I already picked out.

Since everything was happening so last minute, I was forced to buy a dress off the rack rather than having one tailor fitted. I tried on the first dress, or I should say I tried to try on the first dress, but it didn't fit. I was already defeated and practically in tears. At first it was because the dress wasn't fitting, but then it turned into tears of sadness knowing that I was having to battle with my parents for this wedding, which turned into tears for the fact that my life was about to drastically change once the baby was here and I still wasn't ready.

“Lynn?” I heard Kadie call out. “You've been in there for a while. Do you need help?”

I quickly wiped my tears and tried to quietly clear my throat. “No, I'm fine.” I called out with a crack in my voice that gave me away.

I heard the panic in Kadie's voice as she approached my fitting room. “Lynn Lee, are you crying?” She asked before she flung the door open.

“No...” I lied as I wiped the tears from my eyes. Kadie stared at me as I sat on the floor in the corner with only half the dress on my body.

Kadie couldn't help but laugh. She covered her mouth to stop herself but it didn't help. “Lynn” She softly spoke. “There's plenty of other dresses. Don't stress yourself out.”

“It's not about that” I corrected her. “It's the fact that I can't even have the dress I want because I'm in a position where I have to rush my wedding.”

The dress doesn't matter, Lynn.” Kadie came and sat on the floor next to me. “When Adam and I were getting married I was stressing out day and night about all the wrong things. At the end of the day the flower arrangements doesn't matter, the table cover that you've spent weeks trying to find the perfect shade of doesn't matter, hell, the dress doesn't even matter. The only thing that matters is saying 'I do' and marrying the man of your dreams.”

I sniffled as another tear rolled down my cheek. “Really?”

“Seriously” Kadie reached over to wipe the tear. “Everything else is a blur.” She smiled and waited for me to reciprocate. “I need you to get up, take off that hideous dress and try this one on.” Kadie held up a dress she found.

“Kadie” I sighed as I looked at it. “If I can't fit into this dress, what makes you think I'll be able to fit into that one?” The dress was a mermaid style dress that looked to be a slim fit.

“Just trust me. These dresses always fit better than you think.” She stood up and held out her hand to help me up.

I tried on the dress and to my surprise, Kadie was right, the dress fit. I walked out of the room to show her and her eyes practically popped out of her head. By her expression I figured it looked bad. Until I walked in front of the mirror. I almost immediately stopped. I couldn't believe it was me I was staring at.

The dress fit like a glove. It was a sweetheart neckline covered in beaded work from top to bottom with a beautiful long train. My only reaction was to cover my mouth as I gasped. This was the dress I'd seen myself in in my dream. “This is it” I stammered. “This is the dress!”

Thursday, July 23, 2015

No Means No

“What the hell are you doing here?”

I couldn't even attempt to mask the disgust in my voice. Rebecca's eyes gleamed with fear as Jonah took a protective step in front of me.

“I...I...” She stammered as she took a step back. The confidence that had struck her moments before she called out my name was suddenly gone.

“I...I...” I mimicked her. Jonah looked over his shoulder and without saying a word gestured for me to stop. “Did Kadie not make it clear? You're not welcome here.”

“Look Rebecca...” Jonah said in a calm voice. “I don't know how you got here, but take your drama and go home.”

“How'd you know we were gonna be here?” I blurted out loud as the thought crossed my mind. “Oh my God, have you been stalking us? That's low Rebecca, even for you.”

Frustrated, Rebecca threw up her hands and shouted, “Can you just let me talk, for like, one minute please?”

I turned to Jonah as I whispered. “Wow, and then she's gonna be a bitch about it.”

“You know we really don't owe her much.” Jonah whispered back. “After everything we did for her? We shouldn't even acknowledge her.”

“I can hear you two.” Rebecca huffed as she folded her arms across her chest.

I snapped my head towards her and shouted back,“Good!”

“Look, I just wanted to apologize, okay?” She sighed as she lifted her hand up to rub her forehead.

I stared at her with an open mouth. “You tried to seduce my fiance and then lied about it.” The words rolled off my tongue slowly with irritation. “Sorry doesn't cut it.”

“Seriously, Rebecca. I vouched for you time and time again. I was the only one on your side and you used me for God knows what reason.” I never heard Jonah sound so disappointed.

“I know” Rebecca shook her head. “I know, okay!” A single tear rolled down her cheek.

Jonah and I looked at each other. As much as we hated her we weren't horrible people. Seeing her get emotional during an apology shut us up. We stood quietly and listened to what she had to say.

“I was going through a tough time back home before I came here. Turns out the guy I was seeing was cheating on me. Not with just one other woman, but multiple. God, it was so embarrassing!” She held her hands over her face. “So embarrassing that I couldn't even tell anyone. I just packed up my shit and moved here. When Jonah was being nice to me I wanted to prove to myself that I was still worth it.”

I cut her off, “by having him do to me what another man did to you? That makes a lot of sense, Rebecca.”

“I'm not saying it was logical, okay? It was that nasty inner voice that possessed me into doing it. You know me Lynn, that's not something I would ever do.”

“The sad part is I thought I did.” I shook my head. I wasn't quiet buying what Rebecca was trying to sell.

“Regardless, I feel horrible about the whole thing. When I found out you were pregnant, I cried for a week thinking about how I could have potentially broken a family apart. So, I promised myself that I would try to make amends when I came back here.” Rebecca noticed the questioning looks on our faces. “Don't worry, I didn't move back. After our little debacle I left to Memphis to live with my cousin. She has a gig in town so we're just here for the night.”

“You spoke your peace, but I'm not sure that we're ready to forgive you yet...”

I cut Jonah off, “we're definitely not ready to forgive you.”

“Either way, you need to leave before Kadie finds out your here. She has some questionable activities planned for the next time she sees you.”

Rebecca's eyebrows quivered as she turned around and walked away into the darkness. Jonah wrapped his arm around my shoulder as the two of us watched her disappear.

“I'm so irritated right now.” I huffed as we finally turned around and made our way back to our apartment.

“I know you are, babe, it's okay.” Jonah tried to calm me down.

“It's just, I had so much to say, you know?” I shook my head.

“Even if you didn't get to say what you wanted she still got to see one of her oldest friends disappointed in her. Trust me, she'll have to live with that guilt forever.” Jonah kissed the top of my head as we walked up to our apartment door.

“I guess” I shrugged. “Can we please just leave to Italy already?”

Jonah laughed. “Patience is key, Lynn.” He shouted as he walked into his office.

It was mid-week when Jeremy finally called Jonah to let him know Rachel, Jeremy's international wedding planner cousin, was up for our challenge.

That meant we only had four proper weeks to plan everything out. If we were really going to do this, we'd be pulling off the impossible.

That night Jonah and I compiled our guest list for the wedding. Since it was so last minute Jonah and I were planning on covering the travel expenses for those who couldn't afford it, so we really wanted to limit our guest list to just our closest friends and family.

That weekend we invited everyone over to our apartment for a dinner party. It was a small gathering with a little less than half the guests being in Texas.

After dinner Jonah and I sat everyone down for the surprise. Casey and Jeremy were able to swing by, but we had to FaceTime Mandy, Anna, and my parents since they couldn't be here.

“Can I get everyone's attention please?” Jonah tapped his glass and waited for the room to quiet down. “I know most of you are wondering why there's a random mix of people here..”

“Seriously” Kadie whispered loudly causing a couple of our guests to laugh.

“The reason we wanted you all here” I was so excited about telling everyone I cut Jonah off. “ because we'd like for you all to join us on our wedding month...”

Everyone's face lit up as they quietly waited for us to finish.

Jonah looked at me and smiled. The anticipation on everyone's face grew as he waited to make the big reveal. “ Italy!”

“Oh my God!” Kadie shouted in excitement.

There were cheers and applaud and laughter filling the room. Everyone was ecstatic to join us on this journey. Everyone except our parents.

“No, no, no, no!” We fell silent when we heard my parents and Anna.

“Mom, Dad...” I pulled my iPad off it's stand to reason with them.

“Absolutely not. You're my only daughter, Lynn. You're going to have a big wedding with ALL of our family and friends.”

“Mom, are you seri-” before I could finish my rebuttal, Anna cut me off.

“I agree, Jonah. Your family would be devastated not to share the day with you.”

Jonah and I looked at one another disappointed at yet another obstacle that stood between us and the alter.

Wednesday, July 15, 2015

Sick Day

I'm so sorry to do this, but unfortunately there won't be a post this week. I've been stricken with the worst case of bronchitis that's had me weeping in bed all week. (insert all the crying face emojis)

Normal posting will resume next week and I might even throw in a bonus post to make up for today.


Thursday, July 9, 2015

You Me And A Rabbi

My hands trembled and my eyes filled up with tears. I tried to hold them back to avoid ruining my makeup again.

All I wanted to do was admire the scenery. I stopped abruptly before turning the corner of the corridor. My dad hadn't noticed that I was standing still until my arm, that was looped around his, pulled him back.

I peeked around the corner following the cobbled pathway past a large fountain and into a garden filled with peonies, my favorite flowers. They vibrantly bloomed in every shade. I held my fingers over my lips as I admired them. As beautiful as they were,they weren't what caught my eye. My attention was diverted beyond the cliff that over looked an old Italian village. The houses were staggered along the mountain side just above the crashing waves of the emerald colored sea.

My hands fell down to my waist in awe. That's when I felt the beaded material of my dress. I looked down and it was like I was seeing it for the first time. I was wearing a white dress that was perfectly fitted to my body. It was covered in white-ish silver beads that glimmered in the sunlight around me. It was more stunning than anything I'd ever seen. The weirdest part was the tiny bit of my pregnant belly was no longer showing. Instead, I had perfect curves that I'm sure was due to a tight corset. Now that I was thinking about it, I couldn't feel anything that could have been so restricting underneath my dress. I furrowed my brows as I patted myself, trying to figure it out.

That's when I heard Jonah calling my name. He was standing with the Rabbi under the huppah gesturing for me to hurry up. “Lynn! Come on! We're gonna be late!”

I looked at him in disgust. How rude! This is was my wedding and I could walk down the aisle at my own pace.

“Lynn! They're waiting for us!”

I looked around confused. Was there another wedding going on that I wasn't aware of?

“Who?” I shouted back.

Jonah's voice grew louder, as if he were next to me, and that's when I'd woken up from my dream. “Did you fall sleep?” Jonah was dressed up in a button up shirt tucked into slacks. His hair was neatly made and he was in the process of putting on his watch as he stood over me. I looked around as I slowly brought myself back to reality. “Jesus, Lynn, I left you alone for a minute. You must be tired.”

I held my hands up to my eyes, ready to rub them, but then stopped myself when I realized I'd just gotten ready. I went into such a deep sleep so quickly I couldn't remember what was going on, but it was slowly starting to come back.

“Casey said they're already on their way.”

Jonah and I had a double date with Casey and Jeremy. They'd just came back from their honey moon and wanted to go out to the west village for steaks.

On our way over I told Jonah about my dream. “It was so perfect Jon. A beautiful garden on a hill top that looked over a small town in Italy.” I sighed as my head landed on his shoulder.

“Italy, huh?” We were sitting in a dark cab that was only lit by the street lights, but I could tell by Jonah's voice he was smiling. “You really took what I said lightly, didn't you?” Jonah sarcastically teased.

Casey and Jeremy were already inside waiting for us. Once we settled down they told us all about their honeymoon in Maui.

“How's wedding planning going for you two?” Casey finally asked.

Jonah and I both looked at one another. “We kinda want to shot gun it.” I said without taking my eyes off of him.

Casey cleared her throat. “What do you mean?”

“You know, things are gonna get stressful soon with both of us working and the baby, so...” Jonah shrugged.

“How soon?” Casey's fists were resting on the table with a fork and knife in each one.

“In a month?” Jonah and I looked at each other again, this time questioningly. “That's plenty of time right? We just need, you, me, and a Rabbi.”

Jonah laughed. “You, me and a Rabbi. That's funny.” I joined him in laughter realizing how funny it sounded. “That should be a movie title about a nice, handsome boy, his beautiful non-Jewish fiance and the fiasco that's caused by his insane Jewish family.”

Jeremy had joined in as we kept throwing around crazy scenerios that would take place in the movie. Our laughter only grew with each new plot twist. Casey was still in shock about our news and quietly watched us with folded arms.

“I'll have to pitch the idea to Apatow next time he's at the office.” Jonah and Jeremy finally caught their breath as I dabbed the corners of my eyes with my napkin.

Jonah pretended to be startled when he looked over at Casey and her puckered face. “Come on, Case. It's just a joke.”

“I don't care about that.” She leaned back onto the table. “I care that mom is going to be totally upset. How are you going to put everything together in a month.”

Jonah leaned in to the table, mimicking Casey's posture. “That's the point. We don't want all the extra stuff.”

“Really, Casey.” I agreed. “I could do without all the extra invites and the extended events and gatherings.” I grabbed Jonah's shoulder and kissed him on the cheek. “I'm just ready to get married to my sweet man.”

“It's not like we're excluding mom.” Jonah continued. “She'll be there...with a small group of our friends.”

“I say go for it.” Jeremy leaned back in his chair exhausted from all the food he'd just eaten. Casey looked at him confused as to why he wasn't on her side. “You even said that you hated how long it took us to get married. Granted it was a snowstorm that delayed us.”

It was like Jeremy had spoken some secret language to Casey and she suddenly understood us. “Fine” She sat back. “Do you have a place in mind? I hope you know a month isn't enough time to book a venue.”

“We were thinking somewhere...maybe...outside of the states.” Jonah's voice slowly dragged along. Even he knew it might as well be impossible.

“Jonah” Casey tilted her head in hopes to make him realize how crazy we were sounding.

“Oh” Jeremy perked up. “My cousin specializes in international wedding planning. She could help you with the whole thing. Besides she owes me a huge favor any way. I don't know if you two were interested in Italy, but that's where she's based out of.”

“Italy?” I practically jumped out of my seat with wide eyes.

Jonah laughed at my animated expression. He told Jeremy and Casey about my dream that I had earlier that evening. I couldn't believe this was actually going to happen.

We spent the rest of the evening figuring out who would be invited and the general logistics of how everything would work. Casey was slowly starting to come around the more details we started to conquer.

The time had slipped by so quickly we hadn't even realized that we were the only ones left in the restaurant. We said our goodbyes and headed on our way home.

We stopped by a coffee shop a few blocks away from our apartment so Jonah could get a drink. He had to stay up late to finish some writing and needed the energy boost.

We were practically prancing through the streets shouting in joy wondering how we'd gotten so lucky. We were bursting at the seams with happiness hoping our dreams were really about to become a reality.

As we turned the corner of our block I heard someone call out my name. It was a familiar voice. I continued to smile from ear to ear as I turned around. That's when every last bit of my happiness was destroyed.

“Lynn” Rebecca called out again as she crossed the street towards me.

Was this bitch serious?

Thursday, July 2, 2015

Anywhere You Go, I'll Follow

“It's a big step, for sure.”

Kadie crossed her arms as she paced back and forth in her office. Her black skirt was so fitted it was restricting her stride.

I was sitting behind Kadie's desk on her MacBook. I was only half listening to her as she rambled on. My attention was more focused on the Google search I'd just pulled up on converting.

“Adam wants to raise our kids Jewish. He pretty much said the same thing Jonah told you. Traditions...blah, blah, blah...But, his family hasn't expressed any interest in converting.”

I looked up at her for a brief second as she stopped in her tracks. She held one hand up to her chin as she went into a deeper train of thought.

“Wait, why don't they want me to convert?” We locked eyes as she looked over at me. That was my cue to look away and back at the screen. “Do they not think I'm good enough?”

“I dunno” I just barely mumbled with a slight shrug.

I let out a deep sigh as I exited out of the websites and shut the laptop. I spun around in the swivel chair until I was looking out the window onto Columbus Circle.

Just as I was about to tell Kadie how I was feeling her cell phone began ringing. I heard the clatter of her heels race across the room to answer it. By the tone of her voice I could tell it was a business call. So, I slipped out of the room whispering my good bye.

As I was walking down the street I noticed a small bridal boutique. I've walked past it plenty of times, but today it was really just screaming at me to come over. So I did.

I walked into the shop where I was greeted by a sales associate. “Hi!” She cheerfully sang from across the store. “Welcome to Breanna's Bridal!”

I gave a quick smile and wave before I started shifting through the racks of dresses.

I would be lying if I said I never dreamed of my wedding. As cliché as it sounds I always imagined myself in a big, poofy, princess dress. Kinda like the one Kate Hudson wore in Bride Wars. But, as of lately I felt like I'd lost motivation. All of my attention was going towards my pregnancy. The fact that Jonah and I were both avoiding the whole wedding talk was just icing on the cake.

I pulled out a dress that caught my eye to take a closer look.

“Isn't it gorgeous?” I practically jumped when I heard the sales associate's voice over my shoulder. She walked around until we were face to face. “I'm Taylor, by the way.” She held out her hand for me to shake. I hesitantly reached forward. I was getting a really over-bearing vibe from her. Her energy was at least 50 levels higher than mine. Maybe she was just excited she had a costumer? The place looked pretty dead.

“Lynn” I said as she was waiting for me to say my name. I turned away from her and hung the dress back onto the rack.

“You don't want to try it on?” I clenched my chest in shock when Taylor suddenly appeared at my other shoulder.

“No, no.” I shook my head. “I'm just browsing.”

“When are you planning on getting married?” She wasn't getting the hint that I really didn't want to be bothered.

I continued shifting through the rack. “I'm not sure”

“Why not?” I felt my jaw clench. Why was this girl all up in my business?

I looked over my shoulder and gave her a fake smile. “We just got engaged. Haven't really had time to plan out the details yet.” I lied.

She reached forward to grab my hand. “With a rock like that I would've had the wedding right then and there!” She laughed at her own joke and I continued to fake smile. “Why don't you tell me what you like and I'll pick some dresses out for you. Maybe seeing yourself in the dress will even speed up the planning process.”

“No, it's fi-” I wasn't even able to finish my sentence before she grabbed some dresses and pulled at my arm to follow after her.

I gave into her demands and decided it wouldn't hurt if I tried on at least one. So, I slipped out of my clothes and into the dress. It was a mermaid style with a sweetheart neckline. It was gorgeous. I couldn't stop staring at myself.

Taylor knocked on the fitting room door. “Are you ready to come out?”

I opened the door and to Taylor's predictable expression. “Wow! This dress was made just for you! We could even tighten it a bit more...” She pulled the dress from the back to accentuate my figure as I stood on a platform in front of a wall of mirrors.

“No...” I said without taking my eyes off the mirror. I never thought I'd like a dress like this, but I was already imagining walking down the aisle in it. “I'm sure I'll be bigger by the time the wedding comes around.”

For the first time I saw Taylor's smile disappear. “I don't think I've ever heard a bride plan on getting bigger before her wedding.”

I continued day dreaming as I spoke. “Yeah, well, I'm pregnant, so it's inevitable.”

“Oh, wow.” Her eyes were wide. “Fittings take six to eight months. Maybe it's better if you hold off until after the baby.”

My daydreaming bubbled popped as I heard her say the words out loud. She was right. I kept picturing myself walking towards Jonah in my current figure, but who knew how big I really would be by the time we decided to get married?

I changed back into my clothes and headed home.

The cab ride home was a quiet one. Usually the drivers in the city would make some effort to start a conversation, but I didn't really respond when my cab driver tried to ask me how I was doing. I just gave him a one word answer and continued staring out the window.

We were almost to my apartment when a tear rolled down my cheek. Then two....then three..then the flood gates opened. Being considerate to my driver, I cried in silence. I'm sure I looked like someone from a silent film who looks like they're crying hysterically, but at the same time you can't hear anything so you don't really know.

The cab driver didn't really notice until he pulled up to the curb of my apartment. “Are you okay, miss?” He asked in a thick Jamaican accent.

“I'm fine! I'm fine!” I sniffled as I reached into my purse and handed over some cash. I've never seen a driver so disappointed to take money.

Once I got upstairs to our apartment I'd already forgotten why I was even crying in the first place. In fact I was feeling way better than I was ten minutes ago. The strange emotional roller coaster of pregnancy is something I'll never understand.

I went from happy to missing Jonah just in the time it took me to walk into our bedroom. I walked over to his side of the bed and picked up the framed picture he kept on his night table. It was from a double date we'd went on with Kadie and Adam. The picture was a candid shot that Kadie managed to capture of Jonah and I laughing as we stared at one another. It was one of my favorite pictures.

I sighed as I put it back. I looked down at my ring and began fantasizing again. It was so easy to forget how lucky I really was to have Jonah. How he was single-handedly the one to get us through every up and down.

I jumped into the shower to clean up before dinner. We'd been eating out lately, so I knew Jonah would appreciate if I made a home cooked meal.

“Is that food I smell?” I heard Jonah's voice as he walked into the apartment. “There's actual food being cooked in the kitchen?” he teased.

“Ha-Ha” I pushed his shoulder back. "Very funny"

Jonah laughed as he wrapped his arms around me in a hug. “Well, hey miss sexy legs.” He kissed my neck as his hands traced down to my thighs. I think he was just excited to see I was actually wearing a dress, even though it was just a casual cotton dress, and not my normal t-shirt and pajamas.

“I made you dinner” I smiled as I gave him a kiss.

“I see that” He looked over my shoulder towards the stove top. “What's gotten into you?” He teased again.

“Don't even, Jonah. I cook for you all the time.” He grinned knowing it was true. “I just...kinda, sorta, maybe missed you a little bit today.”

“Wow, that much?”

I nodded my head. “I may be over-exaggerating.”

I held his face between my hands and kissed him again.

After dinner Jonah and I decided to sit out on our balcony. The weather was nice and it'd been a while since the two of us had spent time together without distractions.

“I went to a bridal store today.” I said without looking over at Jonah. I saw him flinch and look towards me. “It was on my way home from Kadie's office, so I thought I'd stop by.”

There was a second of silence before he asked, “How was it?”

I went on to tell him about the dress I tried on. How, it wasn't something I really wanted, but more of just the thought of walking down the aisle to marry him.

“I feel like getting married to you is going to be the calm before the storm. We're gonna have a kid and I'm going to be working crazy hours at the hospital. I just want a moment with you before the chaos...and also for my dress to fit.”

Jonah put his drink down and pulled at my arm to come towards him. I walked over and sat in his lap with my arm around his shoulder. “What are you saying?”

“I'm saying I want to have our wedding before summer's over.”

“You know August is literally the worst month in New York, right?” Jonah looked at me questioningly.

“What are you saying.”

“I'm saying we should go away somewhere.” He brushed my hair away from my face and kissed me.

I smiled at the idea. “Where would we go?”

“Anywhere.” He kissed me again. “Anywhere in the world that my baby wants to go.”

Jonah's hands grazed my legs as we made out. I kissed his neck as his hands slowly crept up under my dress. He got a hold of my panty and didn't let go until he was able to slip them off. I straddled myself over him.

There was some people watching from the apartment balcony across the street. We heard them cheer as Jonah picked me up and carried inside.