Thursday, July 9, 2015

You Me And A Rabbi

My hands trembled and my eyes filled up with tears. I tried to hold them back to avoid ruining my makeup again.

All I wanted to do was admire the scenery. I stopped abruptly before turning the corner of the corridor. My dad hadn't noticed that I was standing still until my arm, that was looped around his, pulled him back.

I peeked around the corner following the cobbled pathway past a large fountain and into a garden filled with peonies, my favorite flowers. They vibrantly bloomed in every shade. I held my fingers over my lips as I admired them. As beautiful as they were,they weren't what caught my eye. My attention was diverted beyond the cliff that over looked an old Italian village. The houses were staggered along the mountain side just above the crashing waves of the emerald colored sea.

My hands fell down to my waist in awe. That's when I felt the beaded material of my dress. I looked down and it was like I was seeing it for the first time. I was wearing a white dress that was perfectly fitted to my body. It was covered in white-ish silver beads that glimmered in the sunlight around me. It was more stunning than anything I'd ever seen. The weirdest part was the tiny bit of my pregnant belly was no longer showing. Instead, I had perfect curves that I'm sure was due to a tight corset. Now that I was thinking about it, I couldn't feel anything that could have been so restricting underneath my dress. I furrowed my brows as I patted myself, trying to figure it out.

That's when I heard Jonah calling my name. He was standing with the Rabbi under the huppah gesturing for me to hurry up. “Lynn! Come on! We're gonna be late!”

I looked at him in disgust. How rude! This is was my wedding and I could walk down the aisle at my own pace.

“Lynn! They're waiting for us!”

I looked around confused. Was there another wedding going on that I wasn't aware of?

“Who?” I shouted back.

Jonah's voice grew louder, as if he were next to me, and that's when I'd woken up from my dream. “Did you fall sleep?” Jonah was dressed up in a button up shirt tucked into slacks. His hair was neatly made and he was in the process of putting on his watch as he stood over me. I looked around as I slowly brought myself back to reality. “Jesus, Lynn, I left you alone for a minute. You must be tired.”

I held my hands up to my eyes, ready to rub them, but then stopped myself when I realized I'd just gotten ready. I went into such a deep sleep so quickly I couldn't remember what was going on, but it was slowly starting to come back.

“Casey said they're already on their way.”

Jonah and I had a double date with Casey and Jeremy. They'd just came back from their honey moon and wanted to go out to the west village for steaks.

On our way over I told Jonah about my dream. “It was so perfect Jon. A beautiful garden on a hill top that looked over a small town in Italy.” I sighed as my head landed on his shoulder.

“Italy, huh?” We were sitting in a dark cab that was only lit by the street lights, but I could tell by Jonah's voice he was smiling. “You really took what I said lightly, didn't you?” Jonah sarcastically teased.

Casey and Jeremy were already inside waiting for us. Once we settled down they told us all about their honeymoon in Maui.

“How's wedding planning going for you two?” Casey finally asked.

Jonah and I both looked at one another. “We kinda want to shot gun it.” I said without taking my eyes off of him.

Casey cleared her throat. “What do you mean?”

“You know, things are gonna get stressful soon with both of us working and the baby, so...” Jonah shrugged.

“How soon?” Casey's fists were resting on the table with a fork and knife in each one.

“In a month?” Jonah and I looked at each other again, this time questioningly. “That's plenty of time right? We just need, you, me, and a Rabbi.”

Jonah laughed. “You, me and a Rabbi. That's funny.” I joined him in laughter realizing how funny it sounded. “That should be a movie title about a nice, handsome boy, his beautiful non-Jewish fiance and the fiasco that's caused by his insane Jewish family.”

Jeremy had joined in as we kept throwing around crazy scenerios that would take place in the movie. Our laughter only grew with each new plot twist. Casey was still in shock about our news and quietly watched us with folded arms.

“I'll have to pitch the idea to Apatow next time he's at the office.” Jonah and Jeremy finally caught their breath as I dabbed the corners of my eyes with my napkin.

Jonah pretended to be startled when he looked over at Casey and her puckered face. “Come on, Case. It's just a joke.”

“I don't care about that.” She leaned back onto the table. “I care that mom is going to be totally upset. How are you going to put everything together in a month.”

Jonah leaned in to the table, mimicking Casey's posture. “That's the point. We don't want all the extra stuff.”

“Really, Casey.” I agreed. “I could do without all the extra invites and the extended events and gatherings.” I grabbed Jonah's shoulder and kissed him on the cheek. “I'm just ready to get married to my sweet man.”

“It's not like we're excluding mom.” Jonah continued. “She'll be there...with a small group of our friends.”

“I say go for it.” Jeremy leaned back in his chair exhausted from all the food he'd just eaten. Casey looked at him confused as to why he wasn't on her side. “You even said that you hated how long it took us to get married. Granted it was a snowstorm that delayed us.”

It was like Jeremy had spoken some secret language to Casey and she suddenly understood us. “Fine” She sat back. “Do you have a place in mind? I hope you know a month isn't enough time to book a venue.”

“We were thinking somewhere...maybe...outside of the states.” Jonah's voice slowly dragged along. Even he knew it might as well be impossible.

“Jonah” Casey tilted her head in hopes to make him realize how crazy we were sounding.

“Oh” Jeremy perked up. “My cousin specializes in international wedding planning. She could help you with the whole thing. Besides she owes me a huge favor any way. I don't know if you two were interested in Italy, but that's where she's based out of.”

“Italy?” I practically jumped out of my seat with wide eyes.

Jonah laughed at my animated expression. He told Jeremy and Casey about my dream that I had earlier that evening. I couldn't believe this was actually going to happen.

We spent the rest of the evening figuring out who would be invited and the general logistics of how everything would work. Casey was slowly starting to come around the more details we started to conquer.

The time had slipped by so quickly we hadn't even realized that we were the only ones left in the restaurant. We said our goodbyes and headed on our way home.

We stopped by a coffee shop a few blocks away from our apartment so Jonah could get a drink. He had to stay up late to finish some writing and needed the energy boost.

We were practically prancing through the streets shouting in joy wondering how we'd gotten so lucky. We were bursting at the seams with happiness hoping our dreams were really about to become a reality.

As we turned the corner of our block I heard someone call out my name. It was a familiar voice. I continued to smile from ear to ear as I turned around. That's when every last bit of my happiness was destroyed.

“Lynn” Rebecca called out again as she crossed the street towards me.

Was this bitch serious?


  1. I love this blog. I enjoy reading it everytime you write. Can't wait til next Thursday for more.

  2. Nooooooo! I want an Italian wedding! Meeeee!
    Hehe, just kidding :) Loved every word of this! Can't wait for more!

  3. Love this blog! I'm excited to see how Lynn and Jonah plan their destination wedding! Wht made me laugh at the end of this post was the irony of my SO song choice playing in the next room, he started playing Theory of a Dead Man's, "bitch came back". Lol, made me laugh. As always I cannot wait til your next post!

    1. Hahahahaha!!! That song is PERFECT for the end of this post!!!

  4. Loved this post but I was a little annoyed with how Casey was being but you get that with family.

    For the life of me I cannot remember who Rebecca is?

    1. I think Rebecca is the bitch friend that was staying with her and Jonah. She came on to him, Lynn got pissed..etc.

  5. Note to Rebecca: GO AWAY! mum

  6. Dude what if Rebecca is pregnant and she's claiming it's Jonah's!

  7. That little troll Rebecca can go away aaaaaany time now. lol I hope she doesn't suck Lynn back into a friendship. I am going to give Lynn the benefit of the doubt that she holds her own with Rebecca and dismisses her.
    So excited to see how this wedding planning goes. I imagine a shot gun wedding is not going to sit well with either set of inlaws (Oh well) lol.

  8. Rebecca!!?!? What could she possibly have left to screw up. Ugh.

  9. God I hope Rebecca isn't going to cause too much drama