Anywhere You Go, I'll Follow

“It's a big step, for sure.”

Kadie crossed her arms as she paced back and forth in her office. Her black skirt was so fitted it was restricting her stride.

I was sitting behind Kadie's desk on her MacBook. I was only half listening to her as she rambled on. My attention was more focused on the Google search I'd just pulled up on converting.

“Adam wants to raise our kids Jewish. He pretty much said the same thing Jonah told you. Traditions...blah, blah, blah...But, his family hasn't expressed any interest in converting.”

I looked up at her for a brief second as she stopped in her tracks. She held one hand up to her chin as she went into a deeper train of thought.

“Wait, why don't they want me to convert?” We locked eyes as she looked over at me. That was my cue to look away and back at the screen. “Do they not think I'm good enough?”

“I dunno” I just barely mumbled with a slight shrug.

I let out a deep sigh as I exited out of the websites and shut the laptop. I spun around in the swivel chair until I was looking out the window onto Columbus Circle.

Just as I was about to tell Kadie how I was feeling her cell phone began ringing. I heard the clatter of her heels race across the room to answer it. By the tone of her voice I could tell it was a business call. So, I slipped out of the room whispering my good bye.

As I was walking down the street I noticed a small bridal boutique. I've walked past it plenty of times, but today it was really just screaming at me to come over. So I did.

I walked into the shop where I was greeted by a sales associate. “Hi!” She cheerfully sang from across the store. “Welcome to Breanna's Bridal!”

I gave a quick smile and wave before I started shifting through the racks of dresses.

I would be lying if I said I never dreamed of my wedding. As cliché as it sounds I always imagined myself in a big, poofy, princess dress. Kinda like the one Kate Hudson wore in Bride Wars. But, as of lately I felt like I'd lost motivation. All of my attention was going towards my pregnancy. The fact that Jonah and I were both avoiding the whole wedding talk was just icing on the cake.

I pulled out a dress that caught my eye to take a closer look.

“Isn't it gorgeous?” I practically jumped when I heard the sales associate's voice over my shoulder. She walked around until we were face to face. “I'm Taylor, by the way.” She held out her hand for me to shake. I hesitantly reached forward. I was getting a really over-bearing vibe from her. Her energy was at least 50 levels higher than mine. Maybe she was just excited she had a costumer? The place looked pretty dead.

“Lynn” I said as she was waiting for me to say my name. I turned away from her and hung the dress back onto the rack.

“You don't want to try it on?” I clenched my chest in shock when Taylor suddenly appeared at my other shoulder.

“No, no.” I shook my head. “I'm just browsing.”

“When are you planning on getting married?” She wasn't getting the hint that I really didn't want to be bothered.

I continued shifting through the rack. “I'm not sure”

“Why not?” I felt my jaw clench. Why was this girl all up in my business?

I looked over my shoulder and gave her a fake smile. “We just got engaged. Haven't really had time to plan out the details yet.” I lied.

She reached forward to grab my hand. “With a rock like that I would've had the wedding right then and there!” She laughed at her own joke and I continued to fake smile. “Why don't you tell me what you like and I'll pick some dresses out for you. Maybe seeing yourself in the dress will even speed up the planning process.”

“No, it's fi-” I wasn't even able to finish my sentence before she grabbed some dresses and pulled at my arm to follow after her.

I gave into her demands and decided it wouldn't hurt if I tried on at least one. So, I slipped out of my clothes and into the dress. It was a mermaid style with a sweetheart neckline. It was gorgeous. I couldn't stop staring at myself.

Taylor knocked on the fitting room door. “Are you ready to come out?”

I opened the door and to Taylor's predictable expression. “Wow! This dress was made just for you! We could even tighten it a bit more...” She pulled the dress from the back to accentuate my figure as I stood on a platform in front of a wall of mirrors.

“No...” I said without taking my eyes off the mirror. I never thought I'd like a dress like this, but I was already imagining walking down the aisle in it. “I'm sure I'll be bigger by the time the wedding comes around.”

For the first time I saw Taylor's smile disappear. “I don't think I've ever heard a bride plan on getting bigger before her wedding.”

I continued day dreaming as I spoke. “Yeah, well, I'm pregnant, so it's inevitable.”

“Oh, wow.” Her eyes were wide. “Fittings take six to eight months. Maybe it's better if you hold off until after the baby.”

My daydreaming bubbled popped as I heard her say the words out loud. She was right. I kept picturing myself walking towards Jonah in my current figure, but who knew how big I really would be by the time we decided to get married?

I changed back into my clothes and headed home.

The cab ride home was a quiet one. Usually the drivers in the city would make some effort to start a conversation, but I didn't really respond when my cab driver tried to ask me how I was doing. I just gave him a one word answer and continued staring out the window.

We were almost to my apartment when a tear rolled down my cheek. Then two....then three..then the flood gates opened. Being considerate to my driver, I cried in silence. I'm sure I looked like someone from a silent film who looks like they're crying hysterically, but at the same time you can't hear anything so you don't really know.

The cab driver didn't really notice until he pulled up to the curb of my apartment. “Are you okay, miss?” He asked in a thick Jamaican accent.

“I'm fine! I'm fine!” I sniffled as I reached into my purse and handed over some cash. I've never seen a driver so disappointed to take money.

Once I got upstairs to our apartment I'd already forgotten why I was even crying in the first place. In fact I was feeling way better than I was ten minutes ago. The strange emotional roller coaster of pregnancy is something I'll never understand.

I went from happy to missing Jonah just in the time it took me to walk into our bedroom. I walked over to his side of the bed and picked up the framed picture he kept on his night table. It was from a double date we'd went on with Kadie and Adam. The picture was a candid shot that Kadie managed to capture of Jonah and I laughing as we stared at one another. It was one of my favorite pictures.

I sighed as I put it back. I looked down at my ring and began fantasizing again. It was so easy to forget how lucky I really was to have Jonah. How he was single-handedly the one to get us through every up and down.

I jumped into the shower to clean up before dinner. We'd been eating out lately, so I knew Jonah would appreciate if I made a home cooked meal.

“Is that food I smell?” I heard Jonah's voice as he walked into the apartment. “There's actual food being cooked in the kitchen?” he teased.

“Ha-Ha” I pushed his shoulder back. "Very funny"

Jonah laughed as he wrapped his arms around me in a hug. “Well, hey miss sexy legs.” He kissed my neck as his hands traced down to my thighs. I think he was just excited to see I was actually wearing a dress, even though it was just a casual cotton dress, and not my normal t-shirt and pajamas.

“I made you dinner” I smiled as I gave him a kiss.

“I see that” He looked over my shoulder towards the stove top. “What's gotten into you?” He teased again.

“Don't even, Jonah. I cook for you all the time.” He grinned knowing it was true. “I just...kinda, sorta, maybe missed you a little bit today.”

“Wow, that much?”

I nodded my head. “I may be over-exaggerating.”

I held his face between my hands and kissed him again.

After dinner Jonah and I decided to sit out on our balcony. The weather was nice and it'd been a while since the two of us had spent time together without distractions.

“I went to a bridal store today.” I said without looking over at Jonah. I saw him flinch and look towards me. “It was on my way home from Kadie's office, so I thought I'd stop by.”

There was a second of silence before he asked, “How was it?”

I went on to tell him about the dress I tried on. How, it wasn't something I really wanted, but more of just the thought of walking down the aisle to marry him.

“I feel like getting married to you is going to be the calm before the storm. We're gonna have a kid and I'm going to be working crazy hours at the hospital. I just want a moment with you before the chaos...and also for my dress to fit.”

Jonah put his drink down and pulled at my arm to come towards him. I walked over and sat in his lap with my arm around his shoulder. “What are you saying?”

“I'm saying I want to have our wedding before summer's over.”

“You know August is literally the worst month in New York, right?” Jonah looked at me questioningly.

“What are you saying.”

“I'm saying we should go away somewhere.” He brushed my hair away from my face and kissed me.

I smiled at the idea. “Where would we go?”

“Anywhere.” He kissed me again. “Anywhere in the world that my baby wants to go.”

Jonah's hands grazed my legs as we made out. I kissed his neck as his hands slowly crept up under my dress. He got a hold of my panty and didn't let go until he was able to slip them off. I straddled myself over him.

There was some people watching from the apartment balcony across the street. We heard them cheer as Jonah picked me up and carried inside.