Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Cold Feet


Kadie's voice was quiet as she nudged my shoulder. I ignored her.

We were sitting in the lobby waiting for the storm to pass. A group of people were in the same situation of wanting to leave but couldn't because of the icy cold wind mixed with the snow.

There were a couple of elderly people sitting on the only chairs and benches in the lobby. The rest of us were crouched up against the wall.

“Lynn?” Kadie nudged me again. Her voice was a little louder this time.

I ignored her again. I didn't want to have this conversation with all these people around us.

She continued the conversation without my consent any way. “Look, I'm sorry for bringing up Josh. I realize now that may not have been the best comparison.”

I lifted my head off of my arms that had been cradling my legs. I narrowed my eyes at Kadie as if to say, “No shit.”

“I know, okay, I'm sorry.” She rolled her eyes. “I just wanted to make sense of what he said.” Kadie said under her breath. Almost as if she didn't want me to hear it.

“What who said?” I gave her another look. This time confused.

“No one” She quickly answered. “I'm sorry, okay? I didn't mean to make you upset.”

I wasn't so angry at Kadie, as I was irritated. But, having been trapped in the lobby for the last couple of hours I was completely over it. “It's fine.” I sighed. “But, what were you just saying? You were making sense out of what?”

Kadie shook her head and closed her eyes. She was thinking hard about what ever it was on her mind. “Fine, but you're fully acknowledging that you want to know this information, right?”

I twitched my mouth, thought about it for less than a second, then nodded my head.

Kadie exhaled a big breath. “I heard Jonah mention it.”

I looked at her with furrowed brows, unsure of what she was referring to. “He mentioned wanting to get married?”

Kadie made a face. A face you make when you see someone fall down and imagine how bad it must have hurt. “Wellllllll....” Her voice went high. “Not exactly.”

I sat up straight, still confused. “So...He doesn't want to get married?”

Kadie stared at me for a few seconds before she responded. “He didn't necessarily use those words exactly. But, that was the gist of it.”

“And you heard him say that?”

“Again, not exactly what he said, but the gist of it, yes.” I looked away, but Kadie continued to stare at me. “You're not...upset, are you?”

I turned back towards her “When was this?”

“The other day.” Kadie's legs readjusted into Indian-style. “Jonah and Adam were hanging out at the apartment and I was in the bedroom putting away some laundry when I heard them talking.”

“What did he say exactly?”

“Adam teased him and said he was next to get married and Jonah just laughed it off and said, 'yeah right'. So then Adam asked if he was considering it and Jonah hesitated to say, 'I don't know'” Kadie's hand was resting on her face and then slowly covered her mouth as she was done talking.

“It just doesn't sound like him.” I said shaking my head.

“Look, Lynn...” Her hand quickly fell and she straightened her posture. “I can be blunt, and straight-forward, and I know it annoys you sometimes, but I would never make something up or lie to you.”

I sighed and rested my temple on my fist. “The thing is, I haven't even thought about marriage, but knowing that he's on the same page...kind of...”

Kadie finished my sentence, “kind of bothers you?” I nodded my head and she continued. “That's what I was trying to explain. I wanted to make sense of why he'd have that reaction. Maybe he's too involved with his career right now, or maybe he doesn't want what happened to Josh happen to him.” Kadie was staring off as she spoke a mile a minute. “But, then it doesn't even really matter because you don't want to get married either...right?”

“It's not that I don't want to.” I stopped myself and whispered. “Fuck” I covered my face with my hands. “Now that's all I'm going to be thinking about.”

Kadie sighed, “I shouldn't have told you.”

“No” I stopped her “I'm glad that you did. I mean, now I know there's no pressure right?” the corner of my mouth flinched as I spoke.

“Oh, Lynn!” Kadie's whisper was quiet once again as she leaned in to hug me.

Our attention was diverted to the crowd of people walking up to the glass doors. They were talking amongst each other and cheering. Kadie and I stood up to see what was going on.

The snow had finally stopped falling and the wind had calmed down enough for us to bare the cold.

“Come on.” Kadie held onto my arm “I know a short cut.”

We didn't do much talking during our walk. I don't know if it was because I was still bothered or because it was ridiculously cold.

Jonah was already at the apartment when I made it home. He was sitting on a bar stool at the kitchen counter with his laptop.

“Hey babe! You're alive!” He smiled as he stood up to give me a hug.

I forced a smile back.

“Oh my God, you're like a block of ice!” He helped me take my coat off and then rubbed my back. “You should take a hot shower to warm yourself up. I'll make you some hot cocoa when you get out.”

“Okay” I mumbled.

Jonah laughed to himself at my mood. “I love you” he said as he kissed my forehead.

“I love you, too.”

Monday, January 26, 2015

Get Home, Stay Home

“Classes for the rest of the evening are canceled!”

Our dean walked into the classroom speaking loud and clear making sure everyone in the auditorium could hear. We'd been on alert all morning that a blizzard was whizzing it's way through the city. The snow had just started this morning, but it was still too early to tell if anything would come of it. I guess the school was just being cautious.

“Make sure you have enough food and blankets to last you. Once you get home, stay home!” The sound of his voice was being drowned out by the noise of everyone packing up their things. “We will be sending out an email to inform you when it is safe to resume classes. Stay safe!” He waved his hand in air and walked out of the room.

I gave Henry a frightened look. I'd never experienced a snow storm before and it was obvious. Henry on the other hand looked relieved that classes were canceled.

“How are you not panicking?” I asked as I shut down my laptop and stuck it in my tote bag.

Henry rolled his eyes. “The news always over does it. It's just a little snow.”

“Have to agree with Harry” Sarah looked just as thrilled that class was out. “The last few times schools in the city were canceled, it ended up being nothing but a glorified vacation.”

“Really?” I wanted to believe them, but something was telling me to listen to the dean.

“Really.” Henry confirmed. “I say we use this off day wisely.”

“I agree.” Sarah added. “Lunch?”

I shrugged, “I guess if I have enough time to get home then, why not?”

I went against my gut feeling and joined Sarah and Henry instead. We were at our favorite Italian shop when Kadie had given me a call. Jebrone had just dropped off the key to the loft where Kadie was planning on having her wedding. Since he had so many industry parties he was familiar with the best venues in the city. So, when news broke about Kadie's wedding Jebrone had offered his “hook-up” as a wedding present.

By the time we were done with lunch there was only a couple of inches of snow on the ground and a few flurries floating around. Maybe Henry and Sarah were right. Maybe the school was just being cautious. There was nothing to really worry about.

I headed on my way to the address Kadie had texted me. It wasn't too far from her office. Just a few blocks over on Central Park West.

“This is...” My mouth dropped opened as Kadie and I walked out of the elevator and into the loft. “Beautiful!”

The room was completely empty with concrete floors, high ceilings, and white pillars. There were windows on all four sides of the room.

“I feel like I'm in a snow globe!” Kadie shrieked as she looked out the window. She turned around to face me. “So, we're thinking of having the ceremony here” She pointed to an area behind her. “The aisle will go down there."

“What about the reception?” I asked. The room was large enough for a ceremony, but not for both.

“Oh” Kadie shrugged “We're gonna have a social hour down in the lobby while the decorators turn the room around for the reception.”

“You got so lucky with this place, you know that?” I looked around the room again admiring the view of the city and Central Park.

“I know” Kadie smiled as she thought to herself. “Everything's been falling in our favor.” She pulled out a binder from her bag “You're not in a hurry are you? I wanted to show you some of the designs, it'll put this place into perspective.”

“I guess I have time” I said as I noticed the snow slowing down.

“Great!” Kadie sat down on the floor and I joined her. It wasn't an ideal situation, the floor was hard and freezing, but the lack of seating in the empty room wasn't helping.

“The tables are gonna have this cover with this runner” She pointed to swatches of fabric attached to a piece of paper. We went through every page of her book. If my phone hadn't vibrated I never would have noticed the time. We'd spent almost an hour and a half going through Kadie's design book.

“It's Jon” I rubbed my forehead as I looked down at my phone. “He's wondering where I am.” I frantically texted him back. “I didn't realize the time passing.”

“Oh” Kadie was just as shocked as she looked down at the time. “I didn't notice it either. We should probably get going.” I helped her as she picked up her things and packed them away. “How's the living situation going by the way?”

I shrugged “We're figuring it out slowly, but surely.”

“Good! Just seems a little weird, am I right?” She said as she laughed to herself.

“Weird?” I was confused “What do you mean weird?”

“Oh, you know, the fact that you two aren't serious yet you're living together.” She looked at me as if it were a joke and I should laugh with her.

“We are serious. Why else would we move in together?” I shook my head. “Why would you think that?”

“Come on, Lynn. We both know he's probably not going to pop the question any time soon.” I hissed as I gave her a dirty look. Kadie quickly explained herself. “I mean he's young and the star of his own late night show. He's the big boy on campus. He's not going to settle down while he's in his prime. Besides, it's not like you'd say yes”

“Why would I not say yes?” I was quickly growing irritated. “Jonah loves me. He doesn't care about any of that stuff!”

“I'm just saying!” Kadie pumped her hands gesturing for me to calm down. “If marriage was on your mind you wouldn't have been so quick to leave Josh behind.”

My mouth dropped. I couldn't believe Kadie was bringing him up. “Josh? Are you serious right now, K??” I tossed the file folder in my hand onto the floor and stormed to the elevator. “I left Josh because I couldn't see myself happy if I did end up staying with him. You should know better than to think it was a commitment issue.” I kept pushing the down button until the light finally lit up.

I tried closing the doors, but Kadie had picked up her file folder and ran in just in time.

“Josh wasn't even that bad of a guy”

I slowly turned towards Kadie. “What's your problem? Why are you suddenly defending him?”

“I'm not!” Kadie yelled back. “I've known the guy my whole life. I'm sorry if I stick up for him every now and then.”

“No! You shouldn't! I'm your best friend, I'm your maid of honor, I've been there for you since day one! You should be sticking up for me!” The doors for the elevators finally opened to the lobby and I walked out.

I didn't get too far. There was a pile of snow blocking the glass doors. It had rapidly accumulated in the last couple of hours. In fact the weather had completely turned around. Snow was quickly falling as gusts of wind blew through the streets which were now barely visible.

Both mine and Kadie's phone vibrated. I looked down to see an alert.

Winter Weather Advisory: Extreme weather conditions. Stay indoors.

Wednesday, January 21, 2015


Friday's no good. I'm helping K with the flower arrangements, remember? How bout Saturday night?

I strummed my fingers on my chin as I waited for Jonah's text. Sarah, Henry, and I were sitting in the library going over notes.

Texting always made me anxious. Why couldn't people respond as fast as I did? I looked away from the screen to take my mind off of it. There was a window where we sat which over looked the latter of Central Park. Snowflakes fluttered around just barely surviving as they landed.

I looked down at my phone again.

I have an appearance for work Saturday night. Sunday?

I sighed as I read Jonah's text. It was past frustrating and just plain exhausting. I was starting to think we were cursed. We finally moved in together and now we'd never see each other again!

Sunday's the last weekend day before K's wedding. We have so much to do then.

Are we really turning into 'that' couple?

Please, don't make me feel even worse than I already do

I buried my head under my arms. I felt Sarah poke me with her pencil, but I ignored it.

My phone vibrated. I jolted up to check Jonah's text.

I'm staring out my office window. It's snowing and there's people ice skating. Why is life so unfair? What did these people do right that I didn't?

I smirked. Just by reading his words I knew he was being sarcastic. It was his way of trying to make me feel better. I have to admit his sense of humor always did the trick.

I guess we'll never be royals. It don't run in our blood.

I typed out the lyrics to Lorde's song hoping Jonah would get the joke. It'd been a few minutes, but he finally responded.

That kind of luxe just ain't for us...

My smile grew. He never let's me down! I put my phone away and continued skimming through my text book. Henry and Sarah both peeked up from their books. Henry was about to say something, but stopped himself. “Never mind” He mumbled and went back to reading.

I sighed and rested my head on my fist. I stared at a picture of human organs, but it was the last thing I could see. All I could think about was how nice it'd be to ice skate at Rockefeller center while the snow kissed our skin.

And then it occurred to me. I grabbed my phone and quickly texted Jonah.

Unless what?

Jonah almost immediately responded.

Unless I skip my study session, you skip the rest of your work day, and we both go to the ice rink right now.

And then there was silence. I dropped my head in defeat knowing what Jonah would say.

I have a deadline to meet by tomorrow.

I rolled my eyes. Right then the “...” symbol popped up letting me know Jonah was typing. So naturally I kept staring at my phone until his message showed up.

Buttttt, it would be spontaneous...Can you be here in 15?

I shook my head. Did I just read that right? Was Jonah really considering skipping out on his job just to spend time with me? There was nothing in the world that could ever make him miss work. It was like his life source. This was a first and an opportunity I surely couldn't pass up.

Already on my way!

“Where do you think you're going?” Sarah whispered angrily as I hurried to stuff my books and binders into my bag.

“I have to go!” I whispered back. “Jon and I are being spontaneous!”

“What are you talking about?” She sat up straight irritated with the lack of information.

I huffed as I threw my bag over my shoulder. “We're being spontaneous!” I practically shouted in excitement. I covered my mouth as everyone in the crowded library turned to look in our direction.

Sorry I mouthed and proceeded to tip toe out of the building.

I hailed a cab and got to Jonah's office building in record time. He was already sitting outside waiting for me. I admired him for a second before I stepped out the car. He was wearing a pea coat and scarf around his neck to keep him warm and his hair was just barely hidden by his beanie. Jonah was blowing into his fists to keep them warm. His cheeks were rosy from the crisp air.

I had forgotten just how handsome he was.

“Come on lady! Are you getting out or what?” The cab driver snapped my attention back to reality.

“Yeah, yeah...” I dug through my purse for some change and handed it to him.

Jonah finally noticed me once I'd gotten out of the car.

“Hey!” He walked over. “I can't believe the two most responsible people are doing this.”

“Well, speak for yourself.” I tossed my hair over my shoulder. “I've been told I'm pretty irresponsible.”

Jonah laughed. “I told everyone I had an emergency.” His eyes scaled up the building. “You know they're gonna look down here and see us skating.”

We both shrugged and headed to the rink.

We skated until the sun set. Well, actually, I wobbled around while Jonah showed off. He skated fast and slow, backwards and sideways. He'd grown up going to the ice rink so it was home advantage for him. But, for me, this was probably only the third time in my life.

Jonah finally showed mercy and slowed down enough to hold my hand. We went around the rink a few times before our hunger kicked in.

We stopped by one of Jonah's favorite corner deli's to drink some soup and headed back to the apartment.

“This is weird” Jonah mumbled as he shoved the key into the door lock. “I don't think we've only come into the apartment at the same since the first day we got it.”

I thought about it for a second. “You're right” I nodded. “I think we should make up for lost time.” I grabbed his hand before he could open the door and wedged myself into the empty space. We were chest to chest. I unbuttoned his coat and unwrapped his scarf.

“Someone's gonna see us” Jonah whispered as he tried hard not to smile.

“So?” I narrowed my eyes. He leaned down and kissed me. I pushed my body against his the more aggressive we became. 

“We should really get inside.” He managed to say with his mouth still on my body. He opened the door and I walked in backwards as he walked towards me. “So what should we christen first? The kitchen or the guest room?”

Monday, January 19, 2015


“No, we can't have more girls than guys. You've got to cut the list down.”

I looked over a list of bridesmaids and groomsmen that Kadie had compiled. We were sitting in the middle of an upscale restaurant lounge waiting to taste test the food for Kadie's impromptu wedding.

She kept scrolling through her iPhone as she responded. “It's not my fault I have so many friends.”

“Doesn't mean they all have to be bridesmaids.” I shoved the paper towards Kadie and she finally looked up from her phone.

“Jeez, Lynn, it was just a joke.” She took the paper and began examining the list.

Kadie and I had spent most of the weekend planning out her wedding. She could have gotten a wedding planner, but there wasn't anyone willing to work on such a short notice. So being the maid of honor that I am, I stepped in.

There were too many things going on in my world. My final semester in the classroom before clinicals had just started, my boyfriend and I were figuring out how to co-exist, and now my best friend and her fiance decided to live spontaneously by having a wedding in two weeks. Someone please call an ambulance! I think I'm having a heart attack!

I flipped through the stack of papers in front of me. “I don't like this color scheme. It washes you out. Are you planning on getting a tan before the wedding?” I grimaced as I looked at Kadie.

She looked down at her pale arms then rubbed her hands over her face. “I mean, yeah...” she furrowed her brows as she looked back at me.

“Good” I went back to look at the list. I grabbed a few color swatches that were taped to the sheet and played around with them. “Definitely need gold as an accent. I feel like that's your “thing”. Oh, and pastel pink would really compliment your blonde hair.”

“Lynn!” Kadie smacked her hands over mine. “I think I got everything covered.”

I looked up to see her begging for mercy.

“You can help me with my third wedding when I'm completely over all this planning.” She smirked and went back to typing on her phone.

I pushed the binder of papers away. “You have a really sick twisted sense of humor you know that?” Kadie grabbed the binder and put it away in her tote bag.

“Excuse me, are you Kadie?” A young gentleman in a chef's suit approached us. He'd pronounced Kadie's name as caddy, like a golf caddy. She rolled her eyes as she corrected him.

“It's Kadie, like Katie but with a d.” She stood up from her chair and shook his hand. “This is my maid of honor, Lynn.” She gestured towards me.

I jumped up from my seat and shook his hand.

“Will the groom be joining us today?” The chef asked as he held his hands together.

Kadie looked down at her phone. “He should have been here by now. I don't know wha-”

Kadie was interrupted by Adam. “I'm so sorry I got caught in traffic” He kissed Kadie on the cheek and introduced himself to the chef.

“Very well. If you could please follow me to the private dining hall we can get started on the taste testing.”

We were seated at a table for three. The chef excused himself as he went back into the kitchen. A few minutes later his staff came out to present us with a variety of options.

The chef explained each meal as the plates were changed in front of us. After we tried everything the table was cleared and the chef and his staff excused themselves to give us some privacy.

“I kinda like the Mediterranean chicken with the sauce.” Adam wiped the corners of his mouth with his napkin before he set it down on the table.

Kadie scrunched her nose. “Well how much is ' kinda'? Because I was hoping you'd say the Chilean Sea Bass with the mango salsa.”

Adam tilted his head, trying to compromise, but still firm on his pick. “I'm pretty solid with the chicken.”

“Lynn” They both turned and looked at me to give the deciding vote.

“Don't hate me, but I liked the steak the best.”

They both sighed. Adam rubbed his forehead and Kadie rested her fingers over her lips, both in a deep thought.

“Let's just go with the Chilean Sea Bass.” Adam finally mumbled.

“Really?” Kadie jumped forward with excitement.

“Yeah, it'll go better with the steak anyway.” He shrugged. “Besides I can just do the Mediterranean chicken at my second wedding.” Adam and Kadie both laughed.

I shook my head. “There's something wrong with you two.”

Once Kadie and Adam made their final decisions I headed on my way back home.

“Hey, J” I called out into the apartment as I walked in. Sometimes Jonah would come home early and sometimes he'd come home late. There really was no telling, unless I called out for him once I got home.

“Hey babe, I'm in my office.” I heard him call back.

I dropped my things on the kitchen counter and stood by the door to his office. “You're home” I smiled.

Jonah stood up from his chair that he'd been lounging in and walked over to give me a kiss. “I am” he smiled back. “I haven't seen much of you so I thought I'd cut things short at the office and finish up here instead.”

“Nice.” I kissed him again. “Well, I went for taste testing after class so I'm not too hungry. Have you eaten yet?”

“I haven't, but don't worry about dinner. I'll just order pizza or something.”

“Are you sure?” I raised my brows “I can cook a mean pasta.”

Jonah laughed. “No, really, it's fine.”

His hand slide behind my neck and his thumb caressed my ear as he pulled me towards him. I wrapped my arms around him as we began making out. 

His hands grazed down my body and I felt a chill. 

“Ohh” I whispered. “Someone's been missing me.”

“That's such an understatement.” His kisses trailed down my neck. “I've been thinking about what I wanted to do to you all week.”

“Oh, is that so?” I whispered back while smirking.

“Mhmm” He mumbled between kisses.

Jonah pulled me up into his arms and carried me to our bedroom. He laid me down as he took his shirt off before climbing over me.

“Soo...” I whispered. “How was your day?”

Jonah laughed. A soft subtle laugh at first, but eventually it grew louder as he fell over onto his side of the bed. We both laid there staring up at the ceiling.

“I'm sorry” He said as he finally caught his breath. “I kinda jumped at the opportunity didn't I?”

He was referring to the fact that we'd barely seen each other these past few days and his first reaction wasn't to catch up.

I rolled over to my side and rested my head on my hand. “It's okay. It's only been a week, Jon.”

He sighed. “It was just so much easier before.” He put his hands behind his head. “Like, if we were hanging out, we knew it was because we had time to hang out. Now if we see each other there's no telling.”

My phone began vibrating. I pulled it out of my pocket to check it. “It's Sarah. We're video conferencing the group study today.” I sat up and answered the call. “Hey. Okay, I'll be on in a second.”

Jonah looked at me as I hung up. “Promise me we're going to figure this out.”

“I promise” I tossed Jonah his shirt as I walked out the room.

Wednesday, January 14, 2015

Save The Date

“Are you in line?”

A stranger asked as he pointed in front of me.

I stood in the middle of the street debating on whether I should stop for a bagel. There was a long line trickling down the street and my hunger was clawing at me. I looked down at my phone. There was only five minutes before I needed to be in class.

“No, no” I frantically shook my head. “Go ahead.”

I didn't have time for this ridiculous line. Just like I didn't have time to wait on Jonah.

It was the fourth day this week I was missing breakfast. I know, not a huge deal, right? Wrong. Food is my life. Missing breakfast was like planets colliding in my world.

I scurried on my way to school. I had just enough time to make it in before the professor. I maneuvered my way through the morning crowds, bumping and shouldering people along the way. I made it to the door just in time.

Sarah and Henry were already at their seats.

“Skipped breakfast again?”Sarah asked as I rushed over. She could tell by my sunken cheeks that I was deprived of food.

“I didn't skip. Skip would mean I voluntarily gave up the opportunity. And that is exactly the opposite of what I did. I missed it. I involuntarily lost the opportunity to have delicious warm food inside my stomach.” I huffed as I finally sat down.

Sarah continued to give me a look as she pulled out a wrapped bagel from her purse and tossed it into my hands.

I looked up at her with big eyes “Oh, thank you Jesus!” I audibly whispered. “...and you Sarah”

Sarah shook her head as she looked back at her laptop. “You need to talk to him, Lynn.”

“I don't get it. He always use to be out the door before I would wake up.” I began unwrapping the napkin from around the bagel.

“You're keeping him up late, huh?” Henry wiggled his eyebrows.

I rolled my eyes. “ I mean, it's really not even about missing breakfast. It's just impossible to get ready with someone else in your space.”

“Give it some time. You two will be synchronized in no time.” Sarah whispered.

I griped as I took a comically big bite into my bagel.

After class was over I headed to Kadie's apartment. She was off for the afternoon and wanted me to swing by. Something about having “news” to share. Of course, knowing Kadie, having “news” meant she wanted to share her fabulous finds at an outrageous sale. But, I still went any way.

“Lynn!” Kadie squealed as she opened the door. She looked excited to see me as if she hadn't known I was coming by.

“Hey...K....” I gave her a strange look as I slowly walked into her apartment. “Were you expecting someone else?”

“Nope!” She sounded extra peppy. I hadn't seen her this happy in a while.

“Well” I shrugged my shoulders. “What's the news?”

Kadie smiled. “Oh, let's talk about you first.” She sat down on her couch and I did the same. There was a bottle of wine and two glasses on her coffee table. “How's it been adjusting to the new living sitch?” She leaned over to pour some out for the both of us.

“Well, he isn't ever really home so there isn't much to complain about.” I leaned over on the arm rest and sighed. “Except when he is home, in the mornings, we're in each others hair.”

Kadie giggled like she'd just seen a liter of puppies playing. “I remember when that was me and Adam.” She handed a glass to me and took a sip of her own. “He wasn't partner at his law firm yet, so he was still having to work crazy hours at the office. He would always take quick breaks and stop by the apartment from time to time and I remember thinking how I much rather have not had him come at those random times.” She laughed at my wide eye expression. “I know that sounds horrible. But, I would've liked to have known when he was coming so I could just pause what I was doing and resumed when he left.”

“So, how did y'all work it out?” I leaned in anxiously wanting to know the secret to a successful living situation.

Kadie smiled. “We didn't.”

I furrowed my brows, “But...”

“I continued on doing what I had to do and so did Adam. We never even said two words about it. It just happened.” Kadie shrugged. “I guess the more we were around each other the better we had gotten to know how to make things flow. If you saw us now you'd think we were doing a choregraphed dance or something.”

“Hmph” I crossed my arms and thought about what Kadie had just said. I mean, it kinda made sense. Trial and tribulation. 

I jolted forward, remembering why Kadie had invited me in the first place. “Your news! What was it? Tell me!”

She shrieked as she et her glass on the table. Her hands firmly pressed against each other. “Are you ready?”

I furrowed my brows “Kadie, you're really freaking me out. Just tell me already!”

“Adam and I set our wedding date!” She spoke quickly and then covered her mouth with her hands from excitement.

“That's great!” I cheered. “Congratulations!” I guess it was kind of a big deal. Kadie and Adam hadn't picked a date after the engagement and with the whole Poppy situation things between them had been a little tense.

“Thanks!” She continued to smile. “Talking things out really helped. We've been going uphill since. We're more in love than ever and we just want to get the show on the road, y'know? Who would've thought that communication would be key?” Kadie joked.

I rolled my eyes. “So let's hear it! When's the big day? Summer? Winter? Next spring?”

Kadie mischievously smized. “In two weeks!”

Tuesday, January 13, 2015


***Thank you all for being so patient these last couple of weeks. I've been traveling and haven't had a chance to respond to most of your comments. But, it makes me happy to know that there are dedicated readers out there stepping in on my behalf! Thank you so much! I promise I'll have a personal post up this week to explain my whereabouts. But for now enjoy this "catch up" post for today!***

“To new beginnings...”

Jonah stood at the dinner table with his champagne glass in hand as he gave a quick little speech.

“...And fresh starts” Kadie added as she held up her glass. Her eye twinkled as she looked at Jonah with a side smile. He winked back at her.

Adam stood up next to Kadie. His hand wrapped around her side as he added to the toast. “..And growing empires.”

I walked up next to Jonah and joined in. “To friends who are like family”

“Cheers!” The sound of everyone shouting was proceeded by the clinking of glasses.

Jonah and I took a sip of our champagne and shared a kiss.

Tonight was our apartment warming party. All of our friends, old and new, came over to celebrate.

It was an intense few days of searching every nook and cranny of the city, but we'd finally found the perfect place.

At first I insisted on moving into Jonah's apartment. It was fairly new after all. He'd only moved into it this past summer. But, of course Jonah wanted things to be equal. Or maybe he felt like he should make things equal since I was so paranoid about the whole thing. None the less, I was fully satisfied with the decision of starting fresh.

We settled on an apartment in a “younger” neighborhood. Most of the ones we liked were in more quiet, residential areas, but then we realized we were aging ourselves by doing so. I mean, Kadie and Adam moved into a quieter neighborhood and they're already bickering like an old couple.

The only downside of the place was the cost. It was a three bedroom apartment with a lot more space than I was use to. I had grown accustomed to shimming between furniture and having multiple uses for every space possible. 

Having this much space felt weird. Jonah continuously exhorted the idea of a larger space. He said he needed an office for himself and he wanted me to have a place to lock myself into for my late night cramming sessions. And then of course the last bedroom would be ours to share.

I hinted here and there, but Jonah didn't seem to catch on. Instead he assumed he'd be covering most of the bill. Which, more power to him, but it kind of put a damper on my ego. The fact that I was twenty-something and still hadn't made enough money to buy my own place. Okay, okay, I know, I'm still in school. But it still does something to you.

Needless to say Jonah cut me a deal. I'm sure he did it to end my whining. But, he promised he'd let me pay for my half once I'd started working. Kind of like a loan. I joked and told him that was just his way of making sure I stuck around.

It seemed like the new year was working out in every one's favor. I had finally forced a reunion between Jonah and Kadie. I hated that my best friend and boyfriend weren't getting long. I played victim and made them hash out their differences.

I guess the energy must of rubbed off on Kadie because she ended up clearing things up with Adam. They finally had a heart to heart and came clean about their different approaches to business. Adam agreed to split the company back to 50/50 as long as Kadie agreed to set her pride aside.

Fast forward to a couple weeks later and Jonah and I were standing in front of a room full of our friends. It didn't feel as strange as I thought it would. It actually felt kinda right.

Our attention was diverted when we heard someone tapping on their glass. It was Kadie. The room fell silent as she spoke aloud.

“Hi” She blushed after she realized she'd gotten everyone's attention. “For those of you who don't know, I'm Lynn's best friend, Kadie. About a year ago I met the man of my dreams and the two of us moved in together.” There were a few woos at her statement. “Thank you. Well, anyway, it was my first time moving in with someone I was in a relationship with and it was a huge shock.”

“Hey!” Adam shouted from across the room.

“Love you babe, but you're definitely a handful.” Everyone laughed. “Anyway, I thought it'd be a great idea if we went around the room and gave the new housemates some sound advice.” People cheered in agreement. “Okay, I'll start.” She turned around to face us. Jonah and I looked at each other and smiled. “Living with a guy is like living with a child. It's going to be annoying, you're going to want to pull your hair out, but as you two grow together, it'll all be worth it.”

We all laughed. “Thanks, K.” I raised my glass to her.

Jonah's old Harvard buddy, Colton, chimed in. “Lynn, what ever you do, don't mix Jonah's socks! There was this time back in college when I dumped his laundry in a drawer and he flipped shit. Something about how the left and right socks need to be seperate.”

“Alright, Colton, let's drop the exaggerated details. You paired my black socks with my navy blue socks and I went into Senior Presentation looking like an idiot.” Jonah corrected Colton.

I raised my eyebrow. “How could any one tell if you're wearing mis-matching socks?” I asked, confused.

“Trust me, it's Harvard, people know!" a few of Jonah's college friends laughed as if to bring back memories of the old days.

“Oh, if Jonah's ever unresponsive in the mornings, it's because he hasn't had coffee yet. And the best part is he's completely incapable of making it on his own.” Priyal, Jonah's assistant, said from across the room.

I laughed at the thought.

Jonah held up his hand in defeat, “Okay, okay, this is slowly turning into a bad idea.” Every one laughed out loud again. “Thank you to everyone for coming.”

“And for the wonderful gifts!” I added.

“And for the gifts” Jonah repeated. “But now it's time for yous all to get the hell out of here!”
The room cheered one last time and slowly, but surely, the crowd left.

It was an hour later by the time our last guest made their way out. Jonah and I closed the door behind them.
I wrapped my arms around Jonah's waist as we kissed each other. I pulled away and looked at him. “How can you not know how to make coffee. That's literally like boiling water.”

“Hey now!” Jonah smirked. “I never said I wasn't a work in progress!”

“Well it's a good thing we're starting fresh!” I smiled back at him.

He leaned down and kissed me again. “You'll just have to do my laundry, cook me dinner, make me coffee...." Jonah joked.

I cut him off "Oh no, can I still move out??"

"Too late! You signed the paperwork. You're stuck with me" His smile grew from ear to ear. I couldn't help but laugh. For the first time I felt at ease and knew I'd made the right decision.

Thursday, January 1, 2015

New Year New Me


The crowd around us counted out loud.

It was the last few seconds before New Years and we were celebrating at Jebrone's industry party. We were out on the roof over looking Times Square. Normally a outdoor party in this weather would crown you insane, but his studio had the perfect view of the New Years ball.

Just about everyone was at the party. It was crowded, but it beat being packed like sardines in the streets.

Jonah's hands were wrapped around me. His body held me close as a gust of cool wind blew past us. “So, what's it gonna be?” He whispered in my ear.

I pulled my face away from his shoulder and looked him in the eyes. They were big, beautifully lit, and hopeful. How could I resist?

Let me rewind.

It all started about two weeks ago when Jonah asked me to move in with him. Of course I wanted to. But, what was going to happen to our relationship if we did? Things between us had only been going up since we'd gotten together. I was afraid this would be the turning point. First it would start with territory. Then it would escalate to annoying habits. And then it would just be a snowball effect from there.

I wasn't sure if I was ready.

So, I told Jonah I needed to think about it. I'm sure it hurt his feelings, since he was excited by the whole idea, but Jonah can be a little bit more understanding than I am. So he agreed to let me think it over.

He threw subtle hints here and there. “You should probably get home. It's getting late and you have to wake up early to make it to class on time since you live so far from campus.” He said one night after dinner. Or, “Make sure to double check your locks at night. There's been a lot of robberies going on in your area. Most of the targets have been women.” He'd actually been using that one a lot lately. Jonah knew how easily scared I was, so I wouldn't have doubted if he made the whole thing up just to rattle me. (side note: it worked)

It seemed like every event that took place in the last couple of weeks was a test. The way we handled situations, or how we prioritized our time. I hadn't paid attention to the way we did things before, but now suddenly it was all I could notice.

We spent last weekend with Jonah's family. I was starting to get pretty comfortable around them since I'd been seeing them so often. The following weekend Jonah came with me to Texas for Christmas. It wasn't his first time meeting my family or friends, but it was his first time visiting.

It felt strange at first. Not because he was being weird or anything. He was actually being his normal charismatic self. But, it was strange because of how well everything was going.

He charmed the socks off my mom. She was constantly finding a reason to feed him. That's my mom for you. Expressing her love through food. My dad always jokes and says he knows he's doing something right when he starts gaining a little weight.

Speaking of, Jonah's old soul really connected with my dad. The two of them had countless hours worth of conversations about older musicians, aged liquor, and politics all while smoking a couple of Cuban cigars.

There were moments I would catch Jonah dazed in deep thought. I couldn't help but think maybe it was moments like this that made him miss his father even more. These conversations that he wasn't quiet old enough to have with him before he passed.


I snapped out of my thoughts and realized I was still staring into Jonah's eyes. “Yes!” I shouted. I startled myself and covered my mouth. I began to laugh...I don't know if it was because of sheer excitement or nerves, but Jonah joined in too.

“Really?!” His hands hand moved from my waist and held my cheeks as I nodded my head.



We clenched each other harder as everyone screamed, “Happy New Year!!!” For a moment it seemed like we were the only ones there. We continued to laugh.

“I love you” Jonah smiled as he brought his face closer to mine.

“I love you too.” I leaned forward and kissed him.

It was a magical moment with fireworks, confetti, and the rumbling sounds of cheers up and down the streets. It obviously wasn't meant for us, but that didn't mean I couldn't pretend that it was. After all I was about to make a big move in my life. (no pun intended.)

“Okay, so there's this neighborhood I've been wanting to check out. It's perfect since it's between my work and your school. We can go...” Jonah was talking a mile a minute. He only stopped when he noticed the expression on my face. I was holding in a laugh. “What is it?”

“You've already planned everything out?” I asked.

“Of course I have.” He held onto my hands. “I've been wanting this for a long time. I had to build up the nerves to ask you.” His eyes shied away.

“Jonah” I whispered. “I had a lot of time to think about it and this is exactly what I want.”

“I'm happy if you're happy.” He looked back at me and smiled.

“Let the apartment hunting begin!”

Just as we were conversing a waiter walked by with a tray of Champagne. Jonah grabbed a couple of glasses and handed one to me. We clinked our glasses as Jonah spoke, “May the odds be ever in our favor!”