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Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Cold Feet

“Lynn?”

Kadie's voice was quiet as she nudged my shoulder. I ignored her.

We were sitting in the lobby waiting for the storm to pass. A group of people were in the same situation of wanting to leave but couldn't because of the icy cold wind mixed with the snow.

There were a couple of elderly people sitting on the only chairs and benches in the lobby. The rest of us were crouched up against the wall.

“Lynn?” Kadie nudged me again. Her voice was a little louder this time.

I ignored her again. I didn't want to have this conversation with all these people around us.

She continued the conversation without my consent any way. “Look, I'm sorry for bringing up Josh. I realize now that may not have been the best comparison.”

I lifted my head off of my arms that had been cradling my legs. I narrowed my eyes at Kadie as if to say, “No shit.”

“I know, okay, I'm sorry.” She rolled her eyes. “I just wanted to make sense of what he said.” Kadie said under her breath. Almost as if she didn't want me to hear it.

“What who said?” I gave her another look. This time confused.

“No one” She quickly answered. “I'm sorry, okay? I didn't mean to make you upset.”

I wasn't so angry at Kadie, as I was irritated. But, having been trapped in the lobby for the last couple of hours I was completely over it. “It's fine.” I sighed. “But, what were you just saying? You were making sense out of what?”

Kadie shook her head and closed her eyes. She was thinking hard about what ever it was on her mind. “Fine, but you're fully acknowledging that you want to know this information, right?”

I twitched my mouth, thought about it for less than a second, then nodded my head.

Kadie exhaled a big breath. “I heard Jonah mention it.”

I looked at her with furrowed brows, unsure of what she was referring to. “He mentioned wanting to get married?”

Kadie made a face. A face you make when you see someone fall down and imagine how bad it must have hurt. “Wellllllll....” Her voice went high. “Not exactly.”

I sat up straight, still confused. “So...He doesn't want to get married?”

Kadie stared at me for a few seconds before she responded. “He didn't necessarily use those words exactly. But, that was the gist of it.”

“And you heard him say that?”

“Again, not exactly what he said, but the gist of it, yes.” I looked away, but Kadie continued to stare at me. “You're not...upset, are you?”

I turned back towards her “When was this?”

“The other day.” Kadie's legs readjusted into Indian-style. “Jonah and Adam were hanging out at the apartment and I was in the bedroom putting away some laundry when I heard them talking.”

“What did he say exactly?”

“Adam teased him and said he was next to get married and Jonah just laughed it off and said, 'yeah right'. So then Adam asked if he was considering it and Jonah hesitated to say, 'I don't know'” Kadie's hand was resting on her face and then slowly covered her mouth as she was done talking.

“It just doesn't sound like him.” I said shaking my head.

“Look, Lynn...” Her hand quickly fell and she straightened her posture. “I can be blunt, and straight-forward, and I know it annoys you sometimes, but I would never make something up or lie to you.”

I sighed and rested my temple on my fist. “The thing is, I haven't even thought about marriage, but knowing that he's on the same page...kind of...”

Kadie finished my sentence, “kind of bothers you?” I nodded my head and she continued. “That's what I was trying to explain. I wanted to make sense of why he'd have that reaction. Maybe he's too involved with his career right now, or maybe he doesn't want what happened to Josh happen to him.” Kadie was staring off as she spoke a mile a minute. “But, then it doesn't even really matter because you don't want to get married either...right?”

“It's not that I don't want to.” I stopped myself and whispered. “Fuck” I covered my face with my hands. “Now that's all I'm going to be thinking about.”

Kadie sighed, “I shouldn't have told you.”

“No” I stopped her “I'm glad that you did. I mean, now I know there's no pressure right?” the corner of my mouth flinched as I spoke.

“Oh, Lynn!” Kadie's whisper was quiet once again as she leaned in to hug me.

Our attention was diverted to the crowd of people walking up to the glass doors. They were talking amongst each other and cheering. Kadie and I stood up to see what was going on.

The snow had finally stopped falling and the wind had calmed down enough for us to bare the cold.

“Come on.” Kadie held onto my arm “I know a short cut.”

We didn't do much talking during our walk. I don't know if it was because I was still bothered or because it was ridiculously cold.

Jonah was already at the apartment when I made it home. He was sitting on a bar stool at the kitchen counter with his laptop.

“Hey babe! You're alive!” He smiled as he stood up to give me a hug.

I forced a smile back.

“Oh my God, you're like a block of ice!” He helped me take my coat off and then rubbed my back. “You should take a hot shower to warm yourself up. I'll make you some hot cocoa when you get out.”

“Okay” I mumbled.

Jonah laughed to himself at my mood. “I love you” he said as he kissed my forehead.

“I love you, too.”

18 comments:

  1. I have to be honest and am going to guess that Kadie definitely misunderstood or misread something...I don't know if they are there yet, although I wish they were, but I could picture Jonah as being so excited about getting married and moving in that direction! I think Jonah is absolutely head over heals in love with Lynn, and I really think she is the same for him - I hope this is just a minor misunderstanding for them. The posts about the two of their relationship and their love and respect for each other are my favorites because you write them so well, and I love the two of them together!

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  2. This completely goes against when Jonah told his mother that he wanted to marry her, so I am guessing she definitely misheard the conversation.

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  3. I bet he answered that was because Kadie was in the bedroom and he knew she would overhear... I bet he's got a ring already or hes really close to it and didn't want her to know and spill to Lynn. Jonah wouldn't eff with Lynn. That's just now how he acts anyway.

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    1. I love the ring idea! I agree! Jonah is not that type of guy

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  4. Damn Kade just keeps messing things up. Either she misunderstood, or he just simply said "I don't know " because he didn't want to talk about it or like an above commenter said, he knew she was there and didn't want her to hear details. Oooor he genuinely feels like he's not sure since Lynn was hesitant about moving in together. Either way, now Lynn will be acting weird around Jonah, eventually it will come out what Kade said and once again Lynn will stuck between defending her best friend or defending her boyfriend

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  5. At least Kadie sort of had an explanation, but I don't really think it's any of her business, considering she was just overhearing. Couldn't see facial expressions or gestures or anything, so it could have gone either way?

    I can see Jonah wanting to marry Lynn, definitely, but I can also see him being very focused on his career and wanting to enjoy that right now. Plus, they haven't quite figured out the whole "living together as a unit" thing entirely, yet.

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    1. Jonah and Lynn haven't even been together a year, and that's including the time where they weren't dating. Considering Lynn has never discussed wanting to get married yet to Kadie, or anyone, I find it really bizarre that Kadie wanted to "figure out what he meant" in the way she went about it if her intentions were honorable. She could have easily asked Adam for clarification on the conversation- even though it wasn't her business. Why does it matter to her and why is she so flippant about their relationship?

      Nothing in the conversation he had with Adam alluded to the fact that he never wants to get married. If that were the case Johan wouldn't have put so much effort in creating personal holiday traditions with Lynn knowing his mother is as insistent as she is about Jonah's wife converting to Judaism.

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    2. I agree, srob. I don't see what Jonah allegedly said to Adam that might cause Lynn to have any doubt about him. It sounds like it was a non-conversation, almost. What I do have a problem with is Kadie relaying information to Lynn, second-hand mind you, when she doesn't have all the details. It's like playing telephone when you're a kid. Not cool, Kadie.

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  6. I feel like Kadie is trying to cause trouble. For whatever reason she doesn't seem to like Jonah, and she's doing everything she can to undermine their relationship. Either she's not happy in her relationship, or she's jealous to have to share Lynn, but something is going on.

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    1. I agree with you Sunrise. Kadie is always trying to cause some kind of doubt to grown in Lynn's mind about her relationship with Jonah. She picks at the little things and they end up turning into big blow outs. Lynn shouldn't care about whether Jonah is thinking about proposing right now. She is in her first year of medical school and they just moved in together. Their relationship has been was more stable than Kadie's has ever been. I think she should just tell Kadie that Jonah is just not a topic for discussion at this point. Not cool for a friend to keep trying to undermine and sabotage her relationship.

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  7. I hate kadie. Hate hate hate. Always ruining shit....

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  8. What the heck Kadie!! Ugh! Lynn is really bad at hiding her feelings, and Jonah is going to drag it out of her because he cares about her. Hopefully when they talk it out, this doesn't force Jonah to propose because they're not ready. Lynn isn't ready. Pleas have them stay together!!

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  9. If Lynn were smart, she'd talk to ADAM about what Kadie heard, and have him talk to kadie about staying out of things. I wouldn't go to Jonah. Not yet anyways. I would tell him things with Kadie are stressing her out and shes not sure what to do, but I'd go to Adam since he's Kadie's fiance and can deal with her a bit better than Jonah. Jonah would kill her lol

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    1. Personally, I think if Lynn were smart she'd grow a pair and confront Kadie straight-on. Instead of going to someone else to take care of it

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  10. Kadie sucks. I hope Jonah tells her to shut the hell up!

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  11. Kadie is the literal worst. I think she has a deep seeded feeling of insecurity that rears it's head in the ugliest of ways. I feel sorry for her. She must be very unhappy in her own life.

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  13. Kadie should learn not to stick her nose in - you can never understand a relationship unless you're the one in it, and as for it having to lead to marriage already?! They've only just moved in, she's studying and he's just making it big with his TV show - they do not need more stress in their lives! That is definitely a discussion for further down the line, and not something Lynn needs to be worrying about already.

    http://diaryofabritishscot.blogspot.co.uk/

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