Thursday, July 31, 2014

Common Misconception

“Lauren, we need to talk.”

I pulled her aside once we'd gotten to the festival that afternoon. Most of the tents were over flowing with people who were trying to stay out of the sun. It was a good thing The Kick's were on the VIP list and still had access to their private lounge.

We separated from the group and weaved through the crowd to the lounge. It was nice and cool and empty. We sat down in two fancy looking velvet tufted wing backed chairs.

“What's going on, Lee?” Lauren asked enthusiastically. “Oh, is it okay if I call you that? Lee?”

I'd never been referred to as Lee without it following after Lynn, it seemed weird, but her British accent made it sound cool, so I didn't mind it.

“Sure.” She smiled in response. “I wanted to talk to you about...” I looked over her shoulder to make sure no one followed us in.

“About Dan?” She raised up an eyebrow and smirked. I could tell by her look that she'd found out that I found out that she knew about the previous night.“As his best friend you'd like to know my opinion on the whole incident?” She paused for a second. “I have to say, I'm a tiny bit disappointed, but mostly glad it happened.”

I furrowed my brows and pushed my body back, turning my ear towards her. “Excuse me?”

“Dan is rather picky” She scrunched her face like she'd smelt something bad. “He's shy, but at least the guy knows what he wants, right?”

“Uh, I guess?” I didn't know where to go with this. I looked down in my lap and shook my head. Lauren seemed to be happy that Daniel rejected me. I was confused and angry at the same time. I knew we only just met each other, but I, personally, would be a little more sympathetic towards someone who'd just been rejected. That shit is mortifying. “I really don't understand what's going on here. Do you like Daniel, or something? Is that why you're so protective over him?” I folded my arms across my body.

“Why does everyone think that?” She laughed out loud for a few seconds, but then quieted down once she noticed my irritated expression. “Oh, you're being serious?”

“Well, this whole situation is making you shit rainbows, so yeah, I'm a little peeved. I mean, you knew this whole time and you still embarrassed us at breakfast? You're not as nice as you seem, you know that?”

“What?” Lauren uncrossed her legs and sat straight, her body leaning slightly towards me. “I'm sorry Lee, I didn't mean to embarrass you. What happened at breakfast was just me teasing Dan. That's just how we are with each other. That bloke didn't even tell me.” She held up her hands accusingly and leaned back into her chair. “Not that it's any of my business.”

“No!” My voice grew louder “It's not any of your business! It was embarrassing enough that Daniel pushed me away, but then you had to go off and tell everyone.”

Lauren's timid expression suddenly grew into shock as her jaw hung low. She spoke soft and slowly. “What do you mean he 'pushed you away'?”

I was so agitated I didn't answer her.

“Oh dear Lord.” She covered her mouth. “You mean to tell me that you two didn't hook up?”

“What?” I looked at her surprised. “No.”

“Lee” She inched forward in her chair until our knees were touching. She grabbed my arms and held onto them. “I am so sorry!”

“Wait, what did you think?”

She scooted back into her chair, covering her mouth once again. “You two had been acting so friendly towards one another. Last night, you were gone for quiet some time. I looked around and when I approached the trailer I saw you and Dan through the window. Your arms were around each other, so I left assuming you two were...”

Lauren and I stared at one another. I felt a tickling sensation in my lungs the heavier I breathed. I don't know if it was because I was so embarrassed, or because of how ridiculous the whole situation was, but I started laughing. It was muffled at first, and slowly grew louder.

“Oh” Lauren sat there confused as she watched me, not knowing what was going on.

I was bent over by this point. tears streaming down my face. Even if I wanted to stop I couldn't I was having a full on laugh attack.

Lauren began laughing as she watched me squirm. Her pale skin growing red the more hearty her laugh became. The two of us eventually ended up on the floor. It took us a few minutes to finally catch our breath.

“I feel like such an idiot for teasing you two this morning. I thought you two were being shy for a completely different reason.” Lauren's hands laid over her forehead. “Oh my God, how fucking embarrassing!”

“It's okay, you really didn't know.” We laughed again for a brief second. “Honestly, I just had a bad break-up before I came here. It ended with my ex completely ignoring me. I don't even know if I like Daniel like that, but I guess the attention he was giving me made me feel special again. Poor guy was probably just trying to be nice, but I took it the wrong way.”

Lauren turned towards me and examined my face. “I'm sorry to hear that about your ex”

“It's okay. Shit happens.” I laid on my back and stared up at the tent's ceiling.

I hadn't thought about Connor the entire time we were in LA, but just the mere mention of his name flooded my mind with memories. I felt my eyes welling up, so I quickly changed the subject.

“You never answered my question.” I sat back up and leaned against the foot of the chair. “Do you have feelings for Daniel?”

“I don't know” She sat up as well and held her knees in her arms. “Our friendship is much too important to me.”

“Friendships end up being the best relationships. If you have any feeling towards him, I really think you should explore them.”

“I don't want to ruin what we have. I mean honestly, we can't live without each other, we've become that dependent.”

Lauren and I helped each other off the floor. “Between us, Daniel seems really into you. I don't think you'll be disappointed if you take a chance." I paused for a second and looked over at her. "Promise me you'll take a chance.”

Lauren smiled. “We should probably get going. I'm sure everyone's wondering where we are.”

We headed back towards the main concert area.

Adam, Kadie, and Jebrone were off meeting with potential clients, so I stuck with “The Brits” (as we'd refer to them) for the rest of the day. There was the awkward exchange between Daniel and I, but we managed to keep clear of each other for most of the day.

We roamed from stage to stage and saw most of our favorite bands, and artists, perform in the span of the day.

“Lynn!” I heard Kadie shout  as she ran up from behind me. The last show of the night had just ended and everyone was heading back to the parking lot to head home. I separated from the group to meet Kadie halfway. “How'd it go with Lauren?”

“Huge misunderstanding! She thought Daniel and I hooked up and she was just trying to tease him about it. She felt horrible when I told her what really happened.”

Kadie laughed. “Honestly, she seems too nice to be a bitch. I'm glad it worked out.”

We began walking towards the parking lot when I noticed a couple of people in the far distance, standing between two cars. I squinted my eyes and saw that it was Daniel. His hands were wrapped around Lauren's face as he leaned down to kiss her. Her smile was so big, it could've been seen from space. I smiled back at Kadie, “Yeah, I'm glad it worked out too”

Tuesday, July 29, 2014

About Last Night


I lifted my heavy eyelids opened to find Kadie standing in front of me. Feeling like an old timey vampire I hissed as the light from the open curtain hit my eyes. I quickly covered my face with my blanket.


I responded by groaning. My head felt weighed down by a ton of bricks and my body like it'd been shattered into a million pieces and unevenly placed back together.

“Are you okay?” Kadie asked as she sat down on the bed next to me. “You ran out pretty early last night.”

It took me a minute to process what Kadie was saying. I couldn't remember anything that had happened the night before.

“What are you talking about?” I managed to say in a very unattractively groggy voice. I cleared my throat, but it didn't seem to help. “Where were we last night?”

“You don't remember?” I heard Kadie's voice walking from one end of the room to the other. The shadows from beneath the blanket were darkened. I peeked out and realized she closed the curtains so I could uncover my face. “The post-gig party for Daniel and his band.”

The sheer mention of Daniel's name replenished my memories. It hit me like a train. “Oh, fuck.” I whispered out loud, grabbing my head from the painful memory. “That actually happened?”

Kadie smiled and sat on her bed, staring at me. She had no idea how much of an epically disastrous night I had. “What'd I miss?”

I tried to lean myself up on my elbow, but only fell back down. I mumbled to myself as I attempted to sit up once again. I propped up a pillow and leaned against the headboard. I was winded like I'd just ran a marathon. Kadie noticed my dewy complexion and leaned over to grab her purse. She pulled out some medicine and handed it to me.

“The last thing I remember is going back to the trailer. Daniel lost his phone and I was trying to help him find it. Turns out Eli had it, and Daniel had came back to tell me. I figured that was my moment to make a move.”

“Oh my God!” Kadie squealed excitedly. “You never mentioned anything happened last night!”

“Yeah, well...” I rolled my eyes. “That's because nothing happened. I tried to kiss him and he pushed me away. Kadie, he literally pushed me away.”

The excitement on Kadie's face vanished into a look of mortify. The way, I'm sure, I looked like last night. “What the hell, Lynn? You're kidding!” I scrunched my face in pain and shook my head. “But...but...bu-”

“I know.” I cut Kadie off, who was obviously at a loss of words. “I thought he was into me too.”

She covered her mouth as she gasped, having a late reaction. “Did he say why he acted like he was?”

“No, but I'm guessing I'm not his type. Apparently he's 'in love' with Lauren.” I dramatically air quoted the words. “So much for having a rebound hook up.”

“He's into Lauren?” She asked as if it were the craziest thing she'd heard. “huh” She rubbed her chin and stared off for a brief second. She spoke again, this time sounding like everything made sense, “he's into Lauren. Maybe that's why he was being a little extra friendly with you.”

“I don't know” I closed my eyes and leaned my head back against the headboard. “Wait, why aren't you as miserable as I am right now?”

“Oh” Kadie sat upright and perky. “That's because I stopped drinking in the afternoon and loaded up on carbs at the post-gig party. You on the other hand...” She tilted her chin down and gave me a look, “continued to drink through out the night.” Her face lit up with a sudden realization. “Now it makes sense”

I used every muscle in my body to carry myself into the shower and freshen up. It helped along with the medicine Kadie had given me.

It was day 2 of the festival. The boys didn't have a show that day, so we were planning on attending as regular festival-goers. I threw on a pair of jean shorts, a tank, and my biggest pair of sunglasses and met Kadie and the girls in the hotel's garden.

“Oh, well, look who it is!” Kate shouted as I walked in. I cringed at the volume of her voice.

“How are you feeling, party animal?” Lauren asked with a smile on her face. She gestured for me to come sit next to her. I was reluctant, especially after knowing how Daniel felt about her, but it was the only seat at the table available. “Did you sleep off the alcohol?”

I groaned as I sat down. “I'd be better if the sun wasn't out.” The girls laughed. But, something told me it was more of a sympathetic laugh at my low tolerance level.

One by one the boys started showing up. Eventually everyone was there except for Jebrone, Tom, and Daniel. I was praying for some miracle that Daniel wouldn't show up. That he would be so busy with whatever it was he was doing that he wouldn't have time to come by and eat breakfast.

Wishful thinking.

But, of course, he showed up. He walked in smiling greeting everyone and then eventually turning his beaming smile into a half smirk when he saw Lauren and I sitting together.

“What's wrong?” Lauren asked out loud. I imagined face-palming myself repeatedly.

Daniel was caught off guard for a brief second, but then managed to smile again. “Nothing!” He quickly changed the subject as he walked away. “What's for breakfast?”

“Where do you think you're going, mister?” Lauren called out for him again. He slowly turned around looking back at her, confused. “Grab a chair and come sit here!”

“Oh” I said while I quickly got up, “he can just sit in my chair, I'll go sit by Will and Kadie.” I pointed to an empty seat.

“No, no, no, you're staying here. We need to catch up on last night.” For fuck's sake, Lauren. I felt my face turn red as I slowly sat back down. This is turning out to be more mortifying than last night.

Daniel's face was just as red as mine. He grabbed a chair and sat, with a bit of a distance, next to me.

Lauren went on and on about something. I wasn't too sure since my main focus was on an escape plan.

I looked up to see Kadie fully enjoying my predicament. Finally feeling some sort of sympathy, although I'm sure it was because of my death stare, she called out for me. “Hey Lynn, can you come here real quick?” She got up from her chair and walked away from the table.

Before I could get up Lauren stopped me again. “Wait, before you go. Let's take a quick selfie.” If this is all I had to do to get out of this situation, God damn it, I was going to do it without any complaints. I leaned in towards Lauren as she angled her camera towards us. “Oh, Dan, you too! Get in.” I had a vivid imagery of my body exploding into a million pieces. Why was this happening?

Daniel hesitated, but of course, Lauren nagged at him until he eventually leaned in. His face just barely making it into the screen. “Come on, Dan, get in a little closer.” He slowly inched forward. So close I could feel the heat of embarrassment steaming from his face. 

I awkwardly smiled, as I thought of the irony. I was in between the two people who obviously loved each other. All I wanted to do was inch out of the picture slowly until it was just them too.

She finally took the picture and looked at it. “Wow, you two should really stay out of the sun. Didn't realize how bad your sunburn was.” She tilted the camera to us letting us approve the picture. And she was right, Daniel and I were both flaming red.

“Oh gosh, you can just crop me out.” I quickly got up from my chair and ran towards Kadie.

“Lauren totally knows” Kadie whispered to me as we walked back into the hotel. “I heard Carly, Kate and Will talking about it.”

I stopped in my tracks. “Knows about what?”

“About last night.”

Thursday, July 24, 2014

Drunk In Love


Daniel's voice was hushed in a low whisper. Our faces were inches apart. My head was beginning to tilt to the right the closer we got. I could feel his hands on my shoulders as I closed my eyes. Suddenly the stabbing headache I had all day was slowly starting to disappear.


“What the hell!” Kadie grabbed my arm and pulled me aside. We'd just finished eating brunch with the girls when they decided to go back upstairs to check on the boys. “How are they not drunk right now?” She was referring to the table full of drinks that were consumed. Kadie and I could hold our liquor, but we had nothing on them. Aside from some excessive laughter, they all seemed to be functioning well.

I waited for Lauren and Sophie to walk a bit further down the hall before I snapped my head towards Kadie. “I don't know. But if this continues, we're in trouble.”

Sophie turned around, noticing how far we'd fallen away from the group. “Oi, ladies! We got a full day ahead of us!”

We piled into the elevator and went to the boy's hotel room. Eli opened the door, greeting Jenna with a bear hug.

The room looked even more chaotic then the night before. There were clothes and shoes everywhere and the pull out couch was opened with the sheets and blanket left unmade.

“How are you boys even able to breath in here?” Kate asked as she exaggerated a choking sound. “I feel so claustrophobic!” Her right hand clenched onto her chest as she picked up a t shirt from a chair, holding it as far away from her body, and tossed it to the side.

“Really, Kate?” Tom threw out his arms, gesturing to how huge the suite actually was.

“Lauren!” Daniel peeked out of his room when he'd realized we were there. He was wearing athletic shorts and a plain t shirt. He'd just gotten out of the shower by the look of his messy towel dried hair.

“Dan!” Lauren cried back with an even bigger smile.

“I need help with what to wear to the show” He rubbed the back of his head in confusion.

“Of course you do” Lauren shook her head. I didn't even know I was staring at her until she turned towards me. “He can't seem to do anything without me.” She smiled. My straight face slowly turned into a smile when I realized she was talking to me. She took a few steps towards the room but then turned back again. “Come on! We can use your help!”

I followed behind her into Daniel's room. He was leaning against the door frame as we walked past him. Lauren went straight to his bed where he had already laid out a few choices. I nodded at him as a non-verbal greeting. He winked back from behind his tortoiseshell Ray-Ban eyeglasses, a smirk quickly consumed his face.

I felt like such a little school girl as I felt myself blushing.

“I don't know about this one.” Lauren picked up a black shirt from the bed. She realized she was talking to no one and turned around to catch us childishly grinning at one another.

“Which one?” Daniel quickly walked towards her. “Oh, but I love this one!” He held it up with both hands, stared at the graphic design for a second, and then tossed it onto his suitcase. I quietly walked up next to Lauren as I watched them bicker. “How's about this one, then?” He picked up a white t shirt with a partial printed design.

Lauren snatched the shirt from his hand and tossed it onto the growing pile of clothes. “Absolutely not.” Daniel grimaced as he leaned his forearm onto her shoulder. “The festival is in the middle of a God forsaken desert! You're going to burn up in that.”

“What about this one?” I pointed to a black shirt that had been cut into a tank. It had a logo of a band I'd never heard of.

“This is perfect!” Daniel smiled as he picked up the shirt. “Thanks, Lynn!” He looked over at Lauren. “No thanks to you, Laur!” He joked. She stuck out her tongue. “Alright ladies, I'm going to need to change now, unless you'd like to help me with that too?”

Lauren and I both laughed. She lightly punched him in the stomach and he retaliated by playfully holding her in a head lock, only breaking her free when she screamed his name.

We went back out to the living room where half of everyone was missing. “Where did everyone go?” I asked Kadie. She was sitting next to Eli and Jenna as they watched something on his iPad.

“Huh?” Her eyes where still on the screen as she spoke, briefly looking up to see what I was talking about. “Oh the guys went to eat and the girls went back to their room to change. I think we're going shopping after the boys leave for their show.”

Even though Daniel's show wasn't until the late evening, the festival required all of their acts to come early in order to do sound checks.

Kadie and I went back to our room and changed. She wore jeans shorts with a crop top, and I decided to stick with a casual floral printed dress.

“Oh, you Americans are so lucky!” Carly sprawled out her arms, staring up at the sky. “We never get sun like this in London.”

“We should go to the beach!” Kate practically jumped with joy as she had the idea.

“Oh my gosh, Kate. That's brilliant!” The girls all excitedly agreed to ditch our shopping plans and head to the boardwalk.

Although we didn't actually go for a swim, we spent most of the afternoon flocking through the receding waves. After some time Lauren, Jenna, and Carly decided to lay in the sand. Kadie and I joined them.

“Coconut water!” An old Hispanic man shouted as he walked past us. “Get your fresh coconut water here!”

“Ohh” Jenna's eyes widened as she sprang up and approached the old man for a coconut. Carly got up and joined her. The two of them bought enough coconuts for all of us. It took the old man some time to cut off the tops of the coconuts.

“I wish Daniel was here.” Lauren said casually as she propped herself up. Kadie and I exchanged a glance before we looked over at her. “He loves rum and coconut water”

The old man finally walked away from Jenna and Carly, but they still stood huddled around each other. “Drinks are on me!” Jenna cheered as they both finally came back to sit with us. She called out to Kate and Sophie, who were walking along the beach, and gestured for them to come back to us.

Jenna handed me a coconut. I took a sip excitedly. I'd always seen people drinking coconut water straight from the source, but never knew what it actually tasted like.

“Agh!” I grimaced at the strong taste. “It taste like alcohol!”

“Shh” Jenna winked as she shook a tiny bottle behind her hand. Carly and Lauren laughed at my naivety. She'd obviously stolen it from the boys' mini bar. “Drink up!” She patted me on the shoulder.

Maybe it was our beverage of choice, or the sweltering heat, but we decided to lay out on the beach for a while longer.

Our lips began to loosen as we shared stories we normally wouldn't have. I could have sworn every other thing out of Lauren's mouth some how involved Daniel. Of course Kadie and I were the only ones to pick it up.

Apparently Kate and Lauren worked for the same media publishing company and told us some of the scandalous office gossip. Sophie mainly talked about how different her life had became now that she moved to LA from London. And Carly admitted to how annoyed she was with wedding planning.

We only got up when Sophie realized what time it was.

“We better get going if we want to catch the Kicks' show. We've got a bit of a drive out there.”

We went back to the hotel to change once again and headed on our way to the deserts of California. Thankfully Jebrone had arranged for a nice big SUV to pick us up from the hotel.

I was amazed when we finally got to the desert. It was like it's only country. There were crowds of people for miles. The heat was unexplainable, but the view of mountains and palm trees in the background completely made up for it. “Oh my God” Kadie whispered to me. “This is heaven on earth.”

We jumped out of the car and headed to the backstage area. The girl's went to The Kick's trailer, while Jebrone insisted Kadie and I meet him at a lounge that was set up in the VIP area. He'd found some new artists and wanted Kadie to meet them.

“Have you guys been drinking?” Jebrone whispered to us as we approached him.

“Wha- makes you say tha-?” Kadie asked, unable to speak properly. We began giggling which snowballed into laughter so loud we were bending over in pain.

Jebrone didn't look too happy. He grabbed our arms and pulled us out of the tent. “What the hell have you two been doing? K, you're here to meet clients! This is so unprofessional!”

“We had to keep up with them!” I tried hard to make out my words. “Let's have fun' they said. 'American girls are suppose to be crazy' they said.” Kadie laughed again at my horrible British accent as I mocked the girls.

Jebrone sighed heavily as he rubbed his forehead. “Okay, you two need to go somewhere else. I can't have the clients seeing you like this. I'm going to introduce them to Adam when he comes and you can just figure this out tomorrow.” His hands ran in circles in front of us.

He turned around and walked back into the lounge tent. We looked at each other and shrugged our shoulders. It was like we knew what we were doing was wrong, but we couldn't help the way we were acting.

There were hundreds of little pop-up shops, and food stalls set up. Kadie and I made our rounds before it was time for The Kick's show.

We headed to their trailer. Everyone was sitting around so we joined them.

Suddenly our behavior didn't seem so weird by the way everyone else was acting. Daniel walked up to me and I smiled. He grabbed my cheek and lightly pinched it. “You've got the cutest little cheeks, you know that?”

“Oh for Pete's sake, Dan!” Jenna called out from across the trailer. “Leave the girl alone!” He laughed softly before he walked out of the trailer.

“Come on guys! We're up next.” The boys piled out and we all followed after them.

When it was finally time for them to perform we were seated in a VIP area just off the stage. It was nerve wrecking seeing the crowds that were waiting for the band to come out. There were thousands of people. I couldn't help but wonder how Daniel felt.

Needless to say, when he finally came out on stage he sang and danced around like him and the boys were the only ones there. It seemed like something took over him and he became a different person as he talked to the crowd between songs. Like for once he finally showed his confidence.

Kadie caught me beaming as I stared at Daniel. “So, are you finally going to admit you like him?” She shouted over the loud music. I gave her a look back. “Come on, L. It's so obvious you two like each other. He's too touchy-feely with you. You should say something after the show.”

“You think so?” I asked. She nodded her head in affirmation.

Daniel's set lasted an hour before they were done. We went back stage again to meet them.

The girls were squealing loudly as they embraced the boys in hugs and kisses. Everyone congratulated them on their biggest American show thus far.

There was a lounge set up for the band to hang out in after their show. Everyone quickly made their way over. To our, not so, surprise there were bottles of champage, and other alcoholic assortments waiting for us along with a table full of food for dinner.

“Oh shit” Daniel said as he walked next to me.

“What's wrong?”

“I think I forgot my phone in the trailer.” He felt around in his pockets, but couldn't find anything.

“Don't worry, I'll go get it.”I said “Besides, this is your celebration. You need to enjoy it!” I gestured to the lounge full of his friends who were happily getting drunk once again.

He smiled. “You're honestly the best!” I blushed.

I headed back towards the trailer. It was a little past sunset so it was already starting to get dark. I finally found the trailer and went inside. His phone wasn't anywhere in sight so I dug around a few things to make sure it wasn't hidden.

Just then I heard the door open and close. I turned around to find Daniel. “Eli had my phone” He said in a pant. He'd obviously ran here to tell me. “I'm sorry. I guess he must have picked it up for me as we were leaving.”

“Oh” I straightened my posture and walked towards the door where Daniel was standing. “Well, let's get back to the party then” I smiled at him.

There was a moment of silence. That feeling of knowing what I was doing, but not being able to control myself came back. I grabbed Daniel's face and pulled it closer to mine.


Daniel's voice was hushed in a low whisper. Our faces were inches apart. My head was beginning to tilt to the right the closer we got. I could feel his hands on my shoulders as I closed my eyes. Suddenly the stabbing headache I had all day was slowly starting to disappear.

And then I felt a push. I opened my eyes and saw Daniel's upset face. His hands gently pushing my body away. “I'm sorry, Lynn. I-I-”” I whispered, knowing I'd just made a fool of myself.

“I don't like you like that” He said with a remorseful face, quickly apologizing that he gave me the wrong impression.

“I'm such a fucking idiot” I said to myself again. “I thought...”

He shook his head before I could finish. “I'm in love with Lauren. She just doesn't know it yet.”

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Bottoms Up

Lauren wasn't how I'd imagined her to be. She was short. Her height was reasonable compared to mine since she was maybe a couple of inches shorter. But the height difference between her and Daniel was significant. Like, Kim Kardashian to Kris Humpries significant. Her hair was long and blond with darkness creeping at it's roots. It was obvious she had naturally straight hair. There were sparse waves through out, but for the most part it was straight. She was a little chubby, but her curves are what made her look so beautiful.

Along with Lauren came, Jenna, Eli's girlfriend, Carly, Jacob's fiance, and the boy's other friends Kate, Sophie, Tom, and Ralph.

It was Friday morning; Day one of the festival. Kadie and I were still laying in our beds. She was on her cell phone catching up on what she missed on Instagram while she was asleep. I stared up at the ceiling, hands behind my head, remembering everything that had happened the night before.

Once we'd gotten to the restaurant, Daniel insisted that I sit next to him. Of course there were wide-eye signals made from Kadie, who was sitting across the table. I tried not to think about it though. But, as much as I tried to block out her comments, I couldn't help but think about what was going on between us.

Daniel was animated as he spoke. He told me all about his recent adventures as his band toured the world, his fascination for movies (I was a movie nerd myself, but Daniel gave it a whole new meaning. Needless to say, I was hardly on his level.) And of course, how he met his best friends, who were on their way over from London.

“I met Lauren and Ralph when we were thirteen.” He smiled as he remembered the moment. “I always had my nose buried in books. One day I was sitting by myself, reading, during lunch when a crowd of kids came in. They seemed to be a fun crowd. Laughing and playing. I kept peeking over my book, at first because I couldn't concentrate, and then eventually because I wanted so badly to stop being this shy kid, and be one of those kids.” Daniel's blue eyes sparkled as he spoke, adding sentiment to the story. “This little blond girl caught me looking at her mates, Ralph being one of them. So, she stood up from her seat and marched right over to me. You can imagine my head sinking deeper as she came closer.” He laughed as he reenacted the scene.“I was terrified that she was going to rip my head apart. For what? I don't know. But, she came marching over, held out her hand, and asked me to join her and her mates.”

I smiled as I sat sideways in my chair, leaning against the back, my arm hanging over. “That was sweet of her.”

“I don't know where I'd be without her.” He said as his smiled vanished. “Honestly, she's the Macklemore to my Ryan Lewis.” We both laughed at Daniel's reference to Lauren being the outgoing one.

“She seems like a really great friend.”

“She is, the best, both of them are.” He said before grabbing his drink. He quickly became embarrassed at how much time he'd spent talking and changed the subject to me.

There was the occasional “accidental” touch through out the night. The more it continued, the more I convinced myself he was attractive. Not that there was a lot of convincing to do. I began noticing his pale skin. On any one else it would look like they needed a tan, but on Daniel it suited him. His cheeks were a soft pink and there was the smallest bit of freckles sprinkled across his nose. It wasn't even noticeable because his eyes stole away any attention that his face was begging for. You could almost feel a jolt staring into his blue eyes. His dark brown-almost black-hair set the equilibrium.

“I wonder if anyone's awake yet.” Kadie rolled off her bed and began digging through her suitcase. I shook my head as I snapped out of my thoughts. She noticed the distressed look on my face and stopped what she was doing. “What's up?”

I shook my head again. “Nothing” Kadie gave me a disapproving look. I sighed as I sat up, pulling the comforter off of me. “I was just thinking about last night. You might be on to something.”

Kadie knew exactly what I was talking about. “He totally like you. No guy keeps a girl so close to him. And plus, I caught him staring at you when you weren't looking. Guys don't do that unless they really like you.”

I sat quietly and thought about what Kadie said.

There was a knock at our door causing me to jump off the bed. Kadie and I looked at each other confused. I opened the door to find Jenna, Carly, Kate, Sophie and Lauren.

“Hey girlies!” Carly greeted us with wide arms. “Hope we didn't wake you? We're still on British time, sorry.”

Carly was Jacob's fiance. She was the oldest of the girls in her mid-late twenties. We had a lot in common since Carly had also studied medicine and was starting her first year of residency. You would never think she was a doctor-in-training by looking at her. She had a very casual hipster style. Her hair was naturally dark, but dyed blond and grown out of a pixie cut. She was sweet, with the occasional dark British humor.

“No, no, no” I pleaded “Kadie and I were sitting here bored wondering if anyone else was awake. Come in!” They strolled in one by one.

“The boys are still sleeping. Did you girls want to grab brunch in the hotel garden?” Jenna asked. She was Eli's girlfriend. She was the baby of the group, in her early twenties. She had a tall thin body that was filled out in the right places, similar to Kadie. Her hair was the same as Lauren, but much blonder and darker at it's roots. The edginess of her face almost made her look like a Marc Jacob's runway model. Her style was a grungy-prep that suited her well. She looked intimidating in the same way a high school queen b looks, but despite her looks, she was just as sweet as the rest of the girls.

“Ugh, yes please!” Kadie groaned, holding her stomach. “I'm starving!”

The girls left our room, letting us know they'd meet us outside. Kadie and I quickly changed out of our pajamas and into some shorts and t shirts.

We went out into the hotel's garden, where the girl's had already gotten a table.

I sat in the empty seat next to Lauren, and Kadie sat between me and Jenna.

The waiter came by and asked for our drink orders. Kadie and I exchanged a quick glance. These girls were serious about their alcohol. They drank like fishes the night before and were starting their day off with more drinks.

“I'll have a water.” I said.

“Me too” Kadie said quietly.

“Oh come on!” Jenna's naturally loud voice roared. “Don't be a boob!” The girls all laughed.

“They'll have what we're having” Kate leaned forward on the table and informed the waiter. He smiled as he wrote down the order and then walked away.

Kate was a long time friend of Daniel and Eli. If her hair was a natural color, she'd look like a prim and proper British girl. But, it wasn't. It was dyed a maroon-red. She had the tiniest little hoop nose ring that didn't even make her look the slightest bit of punk. Not that she was. She seemed to have one of those buffer personalities. The kind where she could easily get along with anyone even if they had nothing in common.

The waiter came back with our drinks. Lauren handed me mine The girl's all cheered as we clinked our glasses.“We're here to have fun. Live a little!” She said as she shook my knee.

Thursday, July 17, 2014


“Oh my God. So...fucking....awkward.”

I mumbled under my breath loud enough for Kadie to hear. We were waiting for our bags in baggage claim. The boys were on the other side of the room talking to one another as they stood staring at their phones. I managed to tell Kadie the whole story on the walk over.

“Don't look...” Kadie whispered from the side of her mouth as she glanced around the room. “He's totally looking over here.” I scrunched my brows and started turning my head. “I said don't look!” She whispered, louder.

“Shh!” I continued turning my head. “I'm trying to be causal about it!” I did a quick scan of the room only stopping in Daniel's direction for .0001 second. He looked away quickly, as if both our glances were on accident. I turned back towards Kadie. We stared at each other for moment.

“But wait” Kadie looked confused.

“What?” I asked, genuinely concerned.

“Do you think he likes me too?” Kadie modeled her body, trying hard not to laugh.

I sighed as I rolled my eyes and pushed her to the side.

Our bags finally came out on to the pick up surface. We quickly grabbed them and headed over to the hotel.

Luckily for us, Jebrone was nice enough to expense our stay on his company's dime. Him and the boys shared a pent house sized room. Kadie and I had our own double bed room that was attached to the pent house but also had it's own separate entrance.

I'm one of those people that has to unpack my things as soon as I get into the hotel. Kadie, not so much. She sprawled out across her bed and watched me put my clothes and shoes away.

“So, what are you going to do about Daniel?” Kadie asked.

“What do you mean?” I shut my empty suitcase and turned towards her. “He doesn't like me, K. I think we're just looking a little too hard into this.”

“Trust me, Lynn. I can totally see the sparks!” She said teasingly.

I rolled my eyes in response.

“I'm starving”Kadie grabbed her phone to check the time. “Ricky's is down the street. Let's go!”

“Should I call the guys?” I stood up from the floor.

“Just knock on the door” Kadie quickly stood up and grabbed her purse. I held my ear to the door for a second, wondering if I could hear anything, and then knocked. No one answered. “I'm waiting in the lobby.” Kadie was being impatient.

I knocked on the door again. There was a shuffling sound before it finally opened. “Lynn!” Daniel stood with charger wires in hand. “Come in!” He took a step back.

I hesitantly walked inside, briefly forgetting why I was here in the first place. I looked around at how messy the room was. It hadn't even been an hour since we got to the hotel

Jacob and Jebrone came walking out of their room. “Oh, hey Lynn.” Jebrone walked over and stood, exhausted, with his hands on his hips. “What's going on?”

“Kadie and I are gonna go to Ricky's to grab a bite. You guys wanna join?”

Jacob placed his hand over his stomach, as if to make sure he were hungry, “I'm fuckin' starved. How bout it boys?”

Daniel looked down at his phone. “Yeah” he nodded his head “Lauren said they just got out of the airport. I can tell her to meet us there?”

“Of course!” I smiled and gestured for them to come along.

I had forgotten that Daniel's best friend from back home, Lauren, and a group of their other friends were coming into town as well for the festival.

Jacob yelled for Will and Eli. They both came out of their rooms looking disorientated, like they had just woken up from a nap.

“We're going for dinner” Jacob informed them.

Eli mimicked Jacob's gesture from earlier and rubbed his stomach. “Wicked, I'm starving!”

I waited for them to quickly get ready. Daniel was the first one out of his room. His hair was nicely made. He wore a plain tee with skinny jeans and Converses. “Let's go!” He smiled.

I stood up from the chair I had been sitting on. “Everyone ready?” I asked as they came out of their rooms one by one. We walked out into the hall and went down the elevator to the lobby.

As we were walking out Daniel rested his arm around my shoulder, his other hand scrolling through his phone. “Look” he said. I was caught off guard.

Was his arm...around my shoulder? Was this the same guy who acted awkward when I grabbed his arm on the airplane? I didn't even notice what he was showing me on his phone. I was too busy freaking out.

I saw Kadie from across the lobby. Her eyebrows were raised and she lipped the word “what” slowly. I fake laughed as I looked down at Daniel's phone. He was showing me something to do with Mulberry Street Killer.

“It's about time” Kadie yelled as she walked up to us. Daniel removed his arm from my shoulder and slipped his phone into his pocket. Eli walked over and began talking to him. I quickly pulled Kadie aside.

“Did you see that?” my eyes were wide. “What was that?”

“He totally likes you Lynn!” Kadie laughed. “What was he showing you?”

“I don't even know.” I shook my head “I couldn't even manage to pay attention.”

“You're totally into him!” Kadie playfully pushed my shoulder.

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Mile High

“You have to hear them Adam, they're amazing!”

Kadie, Adam, and I sat in a tiny restaurant that over looked a pond in Central Park. Adam was on his lunch break and Kadie and I decided to meet him up to discuss business. Okay, so it was mainly Kadie, but I tried to pretended like I was just as involved. (Note: I was actually there for the food)

The night before, Kadie and I stopped by Daniel's last show in the City. We were left completely speechless. Kadie was so amazed by them she had been singing their praises since.

Jebrone had suggested for Adam and Kadie to sign The Kicks, Daniel's band, as a client for their new PR firm. And Kadie was doing just about anything to convince Adam to jump on the bandwagon.“They sound like ColdPlay, but obviously younger. They have a very emotional sound while still being up beat and synth pop. I don't know, how would you explain it Lynn?” Kadie and Adam looked over at me.

I looked up from my food, caught off guard. “Oh, uh, I think you nailed it right on the head. Very ColdPlay-ish.”

“Lynn” Kadie rolled her eyes.

“What?” I whispered back in defense.

“Jebrone mentioned something about them.” Adam said while stabbing at the remaining bits of his salad. “I never got a chance to look into it.” He stopped talking as he stuffed a bite in his mouth.

“Apparently they're number one in a few European countries and BBC Music is referring to them as the most anticipated act of the year. Adam, they don't even have a debut album out yet. This rarely ever happens in music!” Kadie's eyes filled with excitement as her hands fell in her lap.

“Okay, okay!” Adam picked up his napkin to wipe the corners of his mouth. “Slow your roll, K. I need to see numbers.” He stood up and dusted off his lap. “I can't just sign a client because you're infatuated by the lead singer.”

“What! I am not!” She squinted her eyes and threw up her hands.

Adam looked over at me. I avoided eye contact and instead stirred my straw around in my glass of ice water. The silence became awkward when they both continued to stare. “Okay fine.” I gave up “You did spend a good hour talking about Daniel.”

Kadie's mouth dropped open. “I can't help it if he's a cool British guy!” Adam and I managed to let out a slight laugh at her rebuttal. “Who's side are you on anyway?” She folded her arms and looked back at me.

Before I could answer Adam cut me off, “She's on the side of the guy who has to listen to his girlfriend crush on 'cool British guys'” He said with air quotations, rolling his eyes, obviously joking. He stood behind Kadie as he leaned down to give her a kiss. “I'll talk to Jebrone and see what's going on. I love you.”

Kadie finally managed to crack a smile. “Love you, too.” We waved goodbye as Adam scurried back to work.

A huge smile was still planted on Kadie's face when she turned back around to see me sticking my fork half way in my mouth pretending to gag.


It was late in the afternoon on Thursday when we boarded our flight for LA. Adam was going to join us after work on Friday. For now it was just me, Kadie, Jebrone, Daniel and his band mates, Chris, Eli, and Will.

“Oh” I stopped abruptly in the narrow airplane aisle as I ran into Daniel. He was putting his bags into the over head compartment while I mindlessly stared down at my ticket. “I guess we're sitting together.” I didn't actually decide to go to LA until the last minute. Kadie had already bought her ticket, so there was no way of finding seats together.

“Wicked” Daniel stepped back so I could shimmy into our row. “I thought I was gonna be alone over here.” I looked around and noticed that everyone had managed to end up together. Jebrone, Chris, and Will were towards the front and Eli and Kadie found themselves in the middle.

We buckled into our seats and waited for the airplane to take off. We exchanged a few words here and there, but it was mainly forced conversation.

I leaned my head towards the window and closed my eyes. I hadn't gotten any sleep the night before since I stayed up most of the night packing. I slowly drifted into a nap.

An hour or so later, when I'd finally woken up, I saw Daniel on his laptop. It looked like he was putting beats together. He wore a pair of RayBan eyeglasses, staring intently at the screen, and his headphones covered his ears making it even harder to have any type of conversation.

I grabbed my iPad out of my bag and decided to watch a movie.

I was plugging my headphones in when I saw Daniel do a double take from the corner of my eye. “Is that Mulberry Street Killer?”

I smiled, surprised that he knew the movie. It was an old cult classic that not many people had heard about. “Yeah, have you seen it?”

“Have I seen it?” He reiterated my question. “We have a song called Lacy's Lullaby.”

“No way!” I said while laughing, completely thrown off. Lacy was a neglected young girl in the movie who lived on Mulberry Street. Although it was a nice neighborhood the street was filled with unexplainable activity. Anytime she was scared, she'd start singing a made up lullaby to herself. Which eventually drove herself crazy. “I've never met anyone who's actually seen this movie.”

He slowly shut his laptop screen half way and turned towards me, smiling as he spoke. “It's one of my favorites. My dad took me to go see it when I was a little boy. It fucked me up mentally in the best possible way.”

My eyes widened and my mouth slightly dropped. “You went, as a kid, to see this movie?!”

Daniel laughed, “Yeah, I don't think my dad properly knew what it was about.”

“No kidding.”

He stared off for a brief second remembering the memory. “But, it's what started my fascination with James Fitzgerald. I immediately went home and looked up all of his previous work and watched every last bit of it.”

“Wow, I wouldn't have taken you for a movie buff.” I folded my arms and turned towards him, interested in what he had to say.

“Before I got into music, I was going into film writing and producing.”

I gently shook my head as I laughed. “This is honestly the most interesting conversation I've had in a long time.” Daniel's face grew pink. “So, what turned you onto music then?”

“My mum was a folk singer, not famous of anything, but she sang her way through college.”

“So she inspired you to do the same then?”

“Well, no. She had no idea I had any interest in music. I learned to play piano by myself. Not that she didn't want to teach me. Just because I was, and still am, such an awkwardly shy guy. I never wanted anyone to know I was into music. I would often write songs from a movie character's perspective or an event in history. One day in college my friend heard me playing and insisted that I perform at a local pub. It was the hardest thing I had ever done. Being on stage by myself was dreadful, but playing my music was exhilarating. So, I recruited my mates one by one until we became a band. It's still nerve wrecking, but at least all eyes aren't on me anymore. And I guess they aren't half as bad at what they do.” He smiled a crooked smile waiting for my reaction.

As he was speaking I examined his shy qualities. He could barely look me in the eyes and he seemed unsure of how entertaining his story might be. It was refreshing to meet someone who wasn't 100 percent into themselves.

“You avoided the attention and now you're about to be one of the biggest bands in the world.”

He laughed, rolling his head slightly back. “Funny how that worked out, right?”

I was slowly becoming intrigued by his story “Do you feel like things have changed? Like your life back home?”

“I don't know” His gaze went down and over to the seats in front of us. “I mean, of course it's changed, being away from home, traveling, doing all these things we normally wouldn't. But then I go home, and it feels like everything's the same. I guess it helps that people in London could care less if you're famous.” He laughed again, looking back over at me. I noticed he laughed a lot. Maybe it was a shy guy thing.

“But, I'm sure it helps that your friends make you feel at home.”

“They do.” He paused for a second, almost hesitating to speak. “Lauren is an old friend of mine. Probably the oldest friend I have. She always makes sure I feel at home anytime I come to London. She really goes out of her way. You would like her. She's actually flying in for the festivals.”

“Oh, that's nice of her to come all the way from London.”

“She's coming with a group of our friends actually. And I hardly think it's because of us” he laughed. “I'm sure it's because of all the other amazing bands that will be there.”

“Hey, you shouldn't be so pessimistic. Your band is just as amazing!” I unconsciously grabbed his arm in a comforting way

Daniel's eyes slowly made their way up from where I held on to him to my eyes. Realizing what I was doing, and probably giving him the wrong impression, I quickly let go.

A dinging noise rang throughout the plane. Our flight attendant came on the overhead speaker to announce the plane's landing.

I leaned into my chair and buckled my belt. The awkward silence that initially filled our conversation consumed us once again.

Friday, July 11, 2014

I'll Drink To That

“Why? Why do you have to torture me with work outs?”

I huffed and puffed as I threw a small hand towel around my neck. My knees were slightly bent as I leaned over to catch my breath.

The last week had been a roller coaster of emotions. Even though I was feeling slightly better after my therapy session with Kadie and Jaime, I still found myself getting upset about the smallest things. I could easily experience empowerment, anger, and depression within an hours time.

Kadie, poor Kadie, had taken it upon herself to pick up all my broken pieces and put them back together. She was always finding some excuse to drop by my apartment. Even though she'd say she was coming by to “borrow” a dress, I knew she was just doing it to check up on me. “I know what you're doing, Kadie” I'd roll my eyes at her as she pretended to browse through my closet. “What? Borrowing a dress for dinner?” She would say, trying to play dumb. “This really isn't necessary. I'm fine. I swear!” The truth is, I was lying. Having Kadie around took my mind off of the cycle of emotions.

This morning Kadie decided we should try a new spin class. She found a Groupon and figured it would be something fun and new to try. Of course, I was hesitant. I'm a fairly active person, but physical exercise just isn't my thing. Some how, using her power of persuasion, she convinced me to go any way.

She stood up straight next to me. Her under armour tank and yoga pants accentuated her slender figure. She was drenched in sweat, but still didn't look as exhausted as I did.

“Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy.” She walked away with a little pep in her step as she did her best Elle Woods impression. I waddled after her. (damn those cycle seats!)

After a disgustingly healthy lunch we ended up back at Kadie's apartment.

“What do you think Jaime's doing right now?” We were both laying on the couch opposite of each other. She was on her phone scrolling through FaceBook while I perused through the books list on my kindle.

I realized she'd said something a second later, “I don't know. Didn't he say his rotations were ending this week?” I found an interesting book and clicked on it.

Kadie rolled over on her stomach. “Should we see if he wants to do something tonight?”

I had a delayed reaction again. The book I clicked on was about the falling out of a relationship. Too soon. I grimaced as I exited the screen and went back to perusing. “Yeah, why not.”I mumbled.

I found Kadie and Jaime's sudden liking for each other weird for a split second. They never really clicked until our trip to Texas. But, since then she was always referencing his opinion, or wanting to involve him in our plans. Which was great for me since we'd grown so close. I figured to any one else I might have been the same way. Jaime just has that effect on people.

Kadie tapped away on her phone, before she placed it on the coffee table and walked into the kitchen. “Just texted him. Let's see what he says.” She opened the fridge and grabbed one of her homemade fruit infused water bottles. “Maybe we can go to that club he's always talking about. Do you want a strawberry-lemon-raspberry water?” She held up a bottle in her hand as she peaked over the fridge door.

I looked back at her and shook my head. In that moment and I had sudden realization wash over me. Kadie had been doing so much for me and I hadn't even given her the slightest bit of appreciation.

“Kadie, you know I love you, right?”

“Yeah” she said slowly, confused by my random moment. “Of course”

“I mean, seriously. I don't even know where I'd be without you. No, actually I do know, I'd be down in the dumps in a declining vortex of depression. All of this has really been helping!” I put my kindle aside and sat upright, even though my sore body was refusing to. “I'm starting to feel a lot better thanks to you!”

“I just asked you for water. No need to get so sentimental.” She rolled her eyes before flashing a smile. I guess she was going to stick to pretending she wasn't doing anything out of the ordinary.

Kadie's phone vibrated and she walked back over to check it. “He said he's running errands, but he'll meet us at the bar down the street for pre-going-out-drinks” She said as she went back to tapping on her phone.

I laid back down and finally picked a book on my Kindle to read.

We lounged around Kadie's place for the rest of the day until Jaime texted us, a few minutes before sunset, letting us know he was on his way.

It was the first time in a long time that I actually put on proper make up. Kadie insisted she would do it for me since she's now a self proclaimed make up artist. Apparently watching enough YouTube videos qualifies you take the title.

We put on our LBDs and were out the door.

There was a small bar at the end of Kadie's neighborhood that seemed to have a young crowd. It was known for it's atmosphere and it's occasional celebrity sighting.

We shuffled our way in and found an empty table to nestle ourselves in. Kadie began scooping out the place as we waited for Jaime to arrive.

“Ooh, look at your 3 o'clock. What a hunk of a man!” Kadie managed to say with minimum movement from her mouth.

I did a quick glace over, but didn't really take a decent look. She noticed my disinterest and nudged me to play along. “Oh, look over there Lynn! That guy's hot in a sexy nerdy way. What do you think?”

I hesitated at first, but eventually looked over. I squinted my eyes and did a double take. “Daniel?” I whispered to myself.

Kadie was caught off guard. “Huh?” She looked over again.

“You know him?” Kadie asked.

“Daniel!” I said again to myself, reconfirming my suspicion. “Hey and look who else it is!” I stood up from my seat.”Jebrone!” I waved my hand trying to get their attention.

Jebrone, surprised, waved back and made his way over.

“Lynn! Kadie!” He hugged us both before sitting at our table.

“You're here with Daniel, does that mean you signed him to your label?”

“Yeah, he's officially part of the team!” He smiled as we congratulated him.

“Who is this Daniel you keep referencing?” Kadie asked, confused.

“Oh” Jebrone realized Kadie hadn't met him yet. “He's right there” He pointed over and gestured for Daniel to come over. “His band is huge in Europe and I was lucky enough to snatch them up before they make it big here.”

Daniel walked over. “Hey! Lynn, right?” He asked as he leaned in for a hug.

“Yeah, so good to see you again!” I pointed across the table “This our friend, Kadie.”

“Pleasure” Daniel said in his suave English accent as he shook her hand. Kadie's eyebrows raised up as she heard his voice.

“She's the one I was telling you about. The one who's going to open her own PR firm.” Jebrone explained to Daniel.

“Oh, right. That's wicked! You must be excited?” His tall body towered over us as he stood next to the table.

“I can't even begin to explain it.” Her smile grew as she spoke.”I'm so passionate about it. I just have to find the perfect clients.”

We all turned our attention towards the back of the bar as someone began shouting Daniel's name. He put up a finger letting them know he was coming. “Well, good luck. You lot should come out to the gig tonight. It's our last show in the city before we leave for the festival in L.A”

We agreed to come to his show that night before he disappeared into the crowd.

Jebrone turned his attention back to Kadie. “I was going to talk to you about him. I think when you're ready to launch your firm, you should take his band on as a client. Trust me, it'll be a huge move for you both.”

“I don't know. I would have to talk to Adam about it. He's my partner in this whole deal.” Kadie leaned her elbows onto the table.

“That's fine, talk to him. But, trust me, K. I know Adam. He's going to already have a contract signed with them before I can finish telling him their track record.” Kadie and I both laughed at the idea, knowing it was true.

Jebrone stared off into space for a brief second before he threw out another idea. “Actually, you know what?” He mocked her posture and looked right at her. “You should come to this music festival in L.A. There's so many singers and bands that are amazing, but need a PR firm for a push. It's gonna help you build up your company if you were able to sign some clients.”

“Huh” Kadie sat back in her chair and thought about it for a second. “That's actually a pretty good idea.” She leaned back forward into the same position. “What do you think Lynn? Shall we go to L.A?”

Tuesday, July 8, 2014

The Heart Break Brigade

“Lynn, I've been calling you for the last two days. Where have you been?”

I heard Kadie's voice shouting over the phone.

I was wrapped up in the sheets of my bed. The sun was pouring in through my sheer curtains filling the room with it's warmth. I pulled the phone away from my ear to check the time. It was almost 2pm.

I'd spent the last 24 hours binge eating all the junk in my apartment, watching a marathon of House of Cards, and eventually falling into a food coma. I avoided checking my phone since the night Connor and I broke up. Our picture was still on my lock screen and I couldn't bear to look at it without being consumed with emotions all over again.

I must have unconsciously grabbed my phone and answered it while I was still half asleep. “Kadie?” I croaked.

“Yeah, of course, who else would it be?” She said angrily. “Wait, were you still sleeping? You know it's two in the afternoon, right?”

“Yes, Kadie, I realize that.” My annoyance was hard to mask at this point. “What do you want?”

“What do you mean, what do I want? I've called you a hundred times in the last 48 hours. I thought you were dead.”

“But, you didn't come to check on me?”

“Well, no. I figured you woulda found some super natural, ghost-y, way of telling me you died.”

Kadie.” It was obvious I was rolling my eyes by the tone in my voice.

“Why are you avoiding me?”

“I'm not. I just. I wanted to be alone”

“You're on summer vacation and your boyfriend is out of town. You have nothing but alone time.”

A heavy sigh and a few seconds later I responded,“Connor and I broke up.”

Kadie stopped shuffling whatever papers she had in her hands. There was silence through the phone. She responded in a softer tone. “Are you being serious?”

“2 pints of Ben and Jerry's, and 10 episodes of House of Cards serious.”

“Lynn, why didn't you tell me as soon as it happened?”

“I don't know. I just needed time to myself.”

“Well, did you get it?”

“What? Uh, I guess”

I heard Kadie shuffling around papers again. “Great! I'll be there in a bit.”

“Kadie, you don-” She hung up before I could finish.

I quickly cleaned up the mess I'd made the last couple of days to avoid any sympathetic judgment and headed into the shower to make myself look at least half presentable.

“Open the door!” I heard a man's voice yell as someone banged on the door. I wasn't expecting anyone other than Kadie, so I hesitated to check.

I slowly creaked the door open. “The Heart Break Brigade is here!” Jaime shouted as he came barging in.

Kadie trailed in behind him. She was holding a bag of wine in her hand. “I brought some get well soon juice! Thought we might need it.” She held up the bottle and winked. Her voice lowered into a whisper as she nudged her head towards Jaime, “And him”

“Hey!” Jaime heard Kadie despite her effort “There's more to me then entertainment values, okay?” Kadie and I smiled as we side eyed each other. “So, when were you going to tell me, Lynn?” He asked as he hit my shoulder.

“Ow” I rubbed myself where he'd just pushed me. “I...I...I...” I stumbled to find the right words.

Jaime began mocking my stutter and crossed his arms. “You...You...You what? Were gonna wait until Barbie over here told me?”

“Hey!” Kadie yelled from across the room She was in the kitchen pulling out wine glasses for the three of us. She walked back over to the living room and we sat down on the couch.

“Like I told Kadie, I needed time to myself. I was gonna tell y'all eventually.” I held onto my glass as Kadie poured the wine.

“Well, what happened?” Kadie asked.

“Girl, please” Jaime held up his hand silencing Kadie. The look on her face was priceless. “You're not suppose to ask that.” He turned his head from her to me. “What did the motherfucker do?”

I almost did a spit take. Oh, Jaime.

He didn't do anything” The two of them watched intently as they waited for me to finish. I stopped myself and realized it wouldn't be a good idea to tell them about Jonah.

Okay....” Kadie stretched out the word as she looked back at Jaime.

He furrowed his brows. “So then what's with the depress-fest?” His hands flew up questioningly.

We...just...” I scrambled to find a valid excuse. “Weren't working out.” I quickly took a sip of my wine.

Jaime and Kadie squinted their eyes at me. “You're not telling us something.”

He did something! I know he did!” Kadie jumped back into her seat. “I told you since day one, Lynn. I had a feeling about him!” I quietly watched her as she spoke excitedly. “Didn't I tell you? Didn't I?”

Okay, Kadie.”I rolled my eyes. “'I told you so' is really not what I want to hear right now.”

What did I miss?” Jaime looked back and forth between me and Kadie.

So, then he did do something?” She stared at me for a second before she turned back to Jaime. “He used to treat her like shit before they even started dating. He use to dictate when they could see each other. He had her completely at his disposal.”

What?” Jaime said angrily as he shot a look back at me. “I can't believe I vouched for this guy! And to think I helped him out when he came to Dallas.” He shook his head. “I'm sorry, Lynn.”

I couldn't take it anymore. The more Jaime and Kadie talked, the more guilt weighed down on my body. “It was because of Jonah” I shouted over their voices. Their faces practically dropped as they looked back over to me. “I mean, our relationship was doomed. But, Jonah was the last straw.”

Neither one of them knew what to say. They sat quietly and waited for me to finish.

Connor wasn't the guy you knew before we started dating.” I said to Kadie. She silently stared back at me. “Yeah, our relationship was doomed. But, that's because we were in two different places trying to make it work. He was a great guy on paper, he just wasn't the right one for me. He wanted one thing, I wanted another. It's like two opposite ends of a magnet, as close as we tried to bring ourselves, we only managed to push ourselves away.”

There was silence in the room before Jaime broke it. “That was deep.”

So what does this have to do with Jonah?” Kadie asked.

Well...” I ran my finger around the edge of my glass.

Uh oh” Jaime sang in a whisper.

I took a big gulp of my wine before I told them about the night at Jonah's studio.

What!” They both cried in unison.

I think we uncorked this wine for the wrong person, Kadie.” Jaime said, shaking his head disapprovingly.

Guys, please. Don't make me feel even shittier than I already do.” I slumped myself between the couch cushions. “If you coulda just seen his face when I told him” My voice cracked and I quickly pinched the bridge of my nose to avoid the water works.

Oh, Lynn” Jaime got up from his seat and sat next to me, rubbing my arm. Kadie joined him.

Lynn” Her voice spoke lightly. “It's okay.”

It's not okay. I mean, I know it wasn't bound to last. We were pretty much over before it was really over. I had finally came to terms with it. I knew we weren't right for each other. But, I always thought we'd end it amicably. That we'd come to this agreement together. No harm no foul.” I took a deep breath before I continued “But then, I had to ruin everything. And I hate myself for it. I brought back the pain in his life that he'd been trying to get rid of for years. You should have seen him, Kadie.”

She tried to shush me as she wrapped me in a hug. “I know, Lynn.” She pulled herself away, but held onto my shoulders. “What happened, happened. You can't blame yourself.”

What happened with Jonah was wrong” Jaime joined in “But, maybe it happened for a reason. Maybe without it you and Connor would have continued to live a miserable life. Yeah, it was at Connor's expensive, but at least now you're not in a shitty relationship.”

Shitty doesn't even began to explain it” Kadie said to Jaime. She looked back at me “You shouldn't have to take such drastic measures to please someone. Even Adam noticed your personality change.”

Jaime shot a look at Kadie and changed the subject.“So, tell me about this night with Jonah.” He arched his eyebrows and smiled.

I forced a smile back. Even though I was still hurting, I masked my pain and continued to tell him about that night. He was trying to take my mind off the heavy conversation with some light gossip. It was a quality in Jaime I adored.

We sat and talked until the bottle of wine was empty, and then some more.

It wasn't a feeling that would go away so easily, but having Kadie and Jaime around to distract me was what I really needed.