Friday, January 31, 2014

Coffee and Conversations

* Hello, Readers! I just want to start  by thanking you all for the sweet, funny, enthusiastic comments. I'm so glad everyone has been enjoying the blog! So, to show my appreciation, I've decided to give you all a much requested bonus post for this week! I've received countless emails and comments asking for an update on Jonah. Today's post was written specifically for this request! Have a happy weekend and enjoy today's read!*

I couldn't believe it. Out of the millions of people living in New York, I just had to bump into Jonah's sister outside of Connor's apartment. Oh, the irony!

After introducing herself, Casey suggested we go down to the corner coffee shop to get better acquainted. She came into town to visit her friend, who apparently is Connor's neighbor, and was on her way back to Long Island, where she lives.

It was almost 9PM and the once busy streets were now vacant. Everyone that was scurrying around earlier had safely made it to their destination. It wasn't unusual since the residential areas of New York always died down the quickest.

“I'm so sorry if I interrupted. I just had to say something when I saw you” Casey apologized as we walked into the shop. The barista gave me a confused look, wondering why I was back for the second time that night.

“You didn't interrupt anything. I was on my way out...” I mumbled, embarrassed that she witnessed my walk of shame.

“I don't mean to pry, but is he...” Her hushed voice carried on waiting for me to finish her sentence.

I laughed to make it seem as if she was crazy for assuming anything else “Just a friend. Nothing more.”

Casey ordered both of us a couple of coffees and we nestled ourselves into a corner booth. Now that I knew who she was I could see the resemblance between her and Jonah. She was beautiful. Her light brown flowy hair was parted down the middle. Unlike Jonah, Casey's eyes were green, and her skin had an even sun kissed tan. The kind you see on people who've just come back from an exotic island.

I remembered the first time I went to Jonah's place; there were pictures of his family around his apartment. He'd mentioned having an older and younger sister, but I didn't pay much attention to the people in the photographs. I'd only known Casey was older because Jonah told me his older sister had recently gotten engaged. I looked over at Casey's hand to see her wearing an asscher cut diamond ring.

“Do you have a date set?” I asked Casey while nudging towards her ring.

She looked down at her hand and smiled “March. We want to have a spring wedding. Hopefully this nasty weather will clear up by then.”

I smiled back and held up my hands crossing my fingers.

“Do you come into the city often?” I rested my head on my hands giving my full attention to Casey.

“Occasionally for work. My friend Dina, whose apartment I was just at, is also my business partner. We own a few boutiques around the city. Dina takes care of the stores from here while I do most of the finances and buying from the 'burbs. I come in time to time to make sure everything's running smoothly.”

Coming from a suburban area to a big city, I couldn't imagine why any one would want the opposite lifestyle “Are you not a fan of the city?”

“Oh no, I am!” She gave me an, are you kidding, look “Jonah and I used to live out here together. But when our youngest sister moved out to go to college I went back to Long Island.” She paused for a minute “I'm sure Jonah told you about our dad's passing..”

I nodded my head “Briefly”

Casey looked away towards the window and slightly sucked in her cheek exposing a faint dimple.

“He was a firefighter. He died saving a family from their burning home. We were all pretty young at the time. Anyway, mom never remarried after that. She always said he was the love of her life. I can tell, so many years later, she's still torn up about it. So I went back to keep her company.”

I couldn't help but pout my lip as Casey talked about her parents. It made so much more sense why Jonah was the way he was. Ambitious and striving like his father and a lover like his mother.

“So, how's Jonah doing?” I was curious to know. We had fallen out of communication in the last month because of our schedules not matching and the 3 hour time difference between us.

“Jonah's doing good! He's enjoying L.A.” Casey softly blew over her coffee before she took a sip “He actually just got promoted to producer.”

“That's amazing!” I squealed. I was genuinely happy he was accomplishing everything he set out to do.

“I know! My baby brother is growing up so fast!” Casey laughed.

“That's something I always admired about him. He's so good at everything he does”

“Yeah, no kidding! The viewership for the Late Night show has gone up significantly since he's been head writer. There's been a lot of buzz among the top dogs of the entertainment world about Jonah. He's thinking now would be a good time to team up with a few of his writing buddies and create a new show of his own.” She smiled like a proud older sibling.

“I'm sure it won't be anything short of amazing” I stirred my coffee with a spoon before I took a sip. Casey looked at me as if she was lost in her thoughts.

“Lynn, I know I don't know you all that well, and don't take this offensively, because I'm not sure what note you two left on” She reached her arm across the table and grabbed my hand “But I've honestly never seen Jonah so in love. Oh, the way he would talk about you!” Casey dramatically held her hands over her heart and laughed.

I smiled back at her a little confused as to where she was getting at.

“You have to promise me you two will give it another try when he comes back to town” Her eyes widened as she waited for my agreement.

“Comes back to town?” I furrowed my brows.

“If his new show get's picked up, they're going to be filming in the City”

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

It's A Small City After All

There was no way I was letting Connor come over to my place. I was cringing just thinking of Kadie's wrath. Instead I texted Connor letting him know I was waiting for him at a coffee shop close by his apartment.

It was a small, quaint, hole-in-the-wall, type of place. The lighting was set low and the air was filled with the guitar strums of a freelance musician who set up a makeshift stage in the corner of the shop.

I ordered myself a latte and sat next to the window as I watched a storm of people buzz past. It was close to 6PM and the streets were crowded as everyone was trying to make their way home.

I pulled out my physiology book and decided to get a head start on the next day's reading while I waited.

The flick of the street lights turning on, just as the streets were growing darker, caught my attention. I looked up from my book and noticed it had been an hour since I had been waiting. It was almost as if Connor had seen me checking the time when he finally texted

Just got home

On my way, I replied

I threw on my coat, grabbed my book bag, and headed to Connor's apartment. It took me a few minutes to get there since his place was only a block away from the coffee shop.

“I need to fill my prescription” I held up the note Connor gave me as he swung open the door.

“Well, you've come to the right place!” He smiled as he shut the door behind me.

Connor was still in his work clothes. A white button down shirt tucked into gray slacks and a maroon tie. His blonde hair was slightly lifted and parted to the side in a way that resembled David Beckham's classic hairstyle.

I was surprised by how humbly he was living. His apartment was well kept, but small. It was a one bedroom, one bath, with an open concept living and dining space. I could tell he had only recently moved in from the lack of furniture.

As I looked around his apartment I felt Connor walk up behind me. His arms wrapped my waist while his lips began kissing my neck. I dropped my head back onto his shoulder when I felt his hands on my body

“Wait!” I lifted his hands off of me and turned to face him “I just want to be clear about what this is”

“This?” Connor sarcastically laughed “This is what ever you want it to be” He crooned in a low sexy voice. His hands reached up to grab my face and he kissed me again.

I pushed Connor off of me with both my hands “I'm serious, Connor!” I wanted verbal confirmation that we were both on the same page. I was hurt once by Joshua, and heart broken by Jonah, I didn't want another repeat of my past. And quiet frankly, I didn't have the time to invest in a new relationship. I just wanted a good, old fashioned, no strings attached, one night stand.

Connor rested his hands behind his head as he released a deep breath.“This is a one time deal”

I sighed with relief.

“I can't have you stick around and ruin my career when I'm at my peak”

I furrowed my brows and pushed Connor “Fuck you!”

“Fuck you!” He pushed me back.

We stood silently for a brief second before I took a step towards him “You're so hot when you're mad” Connor whispered as he took my shirt off. I began doing the same.

We were left with nothing when he picked me up and took me into his bedroom.

Half an hour had passed before we called quits.

Connor and I laid there on our backs, gasping for air. “I honestly didn't expect that from you” I admitted in between breaths. I rolled out of bed and began picking up my clothes.

Connor threw the bed sheets off of himself and pulled on his boxers before he walked past me “You weren't too bad, either” I felt my face burn red.

“You know where the door is” He yelled from the bathroom just before the shower turned on. Connor was so arrogant and rude, yet I was weirdly attracted to him.

I rolled my eyes as I shimmied into my jeans and pulled over my tank top. I couldn't stand to be there any longer so I grabbed my cardigan and coat and walked out of Connor's apartment.

I stood outside his door and put my things down so I could slip on the rest of my clothes. I heard a noise down the hall and looked over to see what is was. There were two girls who were walking out of their apartment. One was tall with dark hair and olive colored skin. The other was slightly shorter with brunette hair and subtle blonde highlights. They were both dressed as if they were on their way to a nice dinner.

I avoided eye contact as I buttoned up my cardigan. The hallway was roaring with their laughter and conversation. The brunette suddenly grew quiet as she walked past me. I could tell from my peripheral that she was staring at me as she walked by. I slightly turned my head towards them to see what was the matter.

“Casey?” The dark hair girl turned around to see that her friend was no longer beside her. Instead she was standing in front of me. “What's going on?” she questioned.

I wore my coat and picked up my purse and book bag off the floor.

“I know you” The girl who's name I'm assuming is Casey said as she accusingly wagged her finger at me.

“I'm sorry, I don't think we've met” Even though I knew we hadn't, the more I looked at her, the more I felt like her face looked familiar.

“Do you live here? Maybe I've seen you around” She asked trying to figure out where we may have crossed paths before.

“I don't, you might have me confused for someone else.” I tried shuffling past her to the elevator when Connor opened his door. He was naked with a towel wrapped around his waist.

“Oh, Lynn, I thought I heard your voice” He looked at the other girls, confused to see them, “You forget this” He slowly handed me my phone as his eyes made their way back to me.

“Lynn! That's it!” The brunette excitedly squealed. “I knew I recognized you from the pictures!” She clasped her hands together and pulled them over her mouth covering her smile.

“I'm sorry, who are you again?” I dropped my phone into my coat pocket and stared at her intently. Connor was equally as intrigued.

“I'm Casey” she smiled “Jonah's sister”

Monday, January 27, 2014

Hate With A Passion

“Take in a deep breath. Imagine you're inhaling crisp, clean, fresh air. Let it enter your nasal cavities, fill your lungs, and run through your blood stream. Now imagine that fresh air pushing out the dark, dirty, negative air, and exhale all of your toxins”

I tried concentrating on my breathing as I sat with my eyes closed in a meditation pose. It was hard fulfilling inner peace when all I wanted to do was wring Connor's neck.

That stupid son of a bitch I thought to myself.

Let your body relax with each breath” The yoga instructor came around and rubbed my shoulders to loosen the tension.

It was Saturday morning and I figured I'd give Kadie's hot yoga class another try. Mainly because it was freezing outside and anything hot sounded good...even yoga.

I slightly lifted my eye open to see Kadie doing the same. As the instructor turned her attention away from me Kadie mouthed “RELAX!!” We both quickly shut our eyes when the instructor came back around again.

As you exhale, and we end our session for today, I'd like to leave with the words of Sandra Bullock, 'I'm a true believer of Karma. You get what you give whether good or bad.' I'll see everyone next week, Nasmaste!”

Sandra Bullock? Really?” I whispered to Kadie as we rolled up our yoga mats “What kind of place is this, Kadie?”

Well it is New York” Kadie rebuttaled “But, that's besides the point. Lynn, I know what Connor did last night was fucked up, but you need to move on and get over it”

I rolled my eyes “Oh please, Kadie! I know your Chakra is at peace right now, but if it was you Connor screwed over you would've already had him hanging by his feet from the top of the Empire State Building!”

Do you even know what a Chakra is, Lynn?” Kadie gave me a look.

Kadie and I grabbed our bags, bundled ourselves into our coats, and made our trek in the unruly cold back to the apartment.

The entire walk Kadie lectured me about moving past negative situations. She always did this after yoga class. It was like, for one hour every week after class she was suddenly the Dalai Lama. I knew she was just having a brief moment of enlightenment, so I'd just pretend like I was listening. This week's lesson was Karma. “Remember what the instructor said, you get what you give. You gave him every reason to do what he did. Was it messed up? Yes. But, let's just give him the benefit of the doubt, and remove ourselves from the situation”

When we got back to the apartment I threw my drenched clothes in the wash and jumped into the shower. It was almost noon and I had a lot of work to get done, so I packed my things and spent the rest of the day at the school's library.

The rest of my weekend was spent highlighting chapters and memorizing note cards.

I was fully numb to my daily schedule. I would wake up everyday at the same time, go to class at the same time, eat the same snacks during breaks, go to the same study session after school with the same people, come home and sleep at the same time. And then start all over again the next morning.

That's why Wednesday after school, I decided to break the train of events and take a different route home. More like I dozed off in the subway and missed the stop for my apartment. I had to get off at the next one which was a few blocks away.

When I walked out onto the street I immediately recognized the building I was standing outside of. It was the offices where Corey and I came for the research study. It was also where Connor's office was. I inhaled a deep breath and tried to ignore any temptations I had to trash his office. Instead I exhaled those toxins and turned my petite self around and headed towards the cross walk.

Ah, fuck it I thought to myself I can grow up another day

I marched into the building and went straight for Connor's office. When I walked in there was an elderly couple sitting in the waiting room.

“Can I help you, miss?” the receptionist called out from behind the glass window.

“Is Dr. Cassidy available?” I asked.

“Dr. Cassidy is actually done with appointments for today. If there's an emergency I can schedule you to see one of the other doctors” She began typing away on her computer.

I looked up to see Connor in the background walking out of one exam room and into the next. I opened the door from the waiting room leading to the back office.

“Excuse me, miss! You can't come back here without an appointment!” She quickly jumped from her seat to stop me from coming in, but I was already half way down the hall.

I heard her footsteps pacing faster as I entered the exam room. There was no one inside. Connor was sitting at the computer going over a patients information. He looked up shocked when he saw me standing in the doorway.

Just then the receptionist came and pulled my arm “I'm sorry Dr. Cassidy! I told her she couldn't come back here!”

“It's okay Lisa, it's fine. I know her” Connor stood up from his chair.

I shook her grip off of my arm and stared at her as she quietly walked back to her desk. Connor pulled me into the room and shut the door.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” He whispered angrily

“What's wrong with me? What's wrong with you?!” I poked his shoulder with my finger as I loudly whispered back.

You know what Lynn, I honestly would've never asked you out to dinner if I knew you were this psychotic!”

I'm psychotic?!" My eyes were practically popping out of my head "I didn't purposely leave you at dinner, Connor! You intentionally stood me up!” I was standing on the foot stool of the examination bed so that Connor and I were at the same level.

I told you I couldn't come! You left me hanging when I asked you to go out the next night!”

You're such a liar! You never told me anything! Instead you made me look like a fool in front of half of Manhattan's dating pool!” Connor was a few inches away from me so I nudged him back.

Look!” irritated, Connor grabbed his phone and pulled up the text thread between the two of us “Friday at 5 o clock I texted 'Working late tonight, can we reschedule for tomorrow?' and look what's after that Lynn, nothing! Because you never replied!”

Why couldn't you just call me?” I meant to sincerely ask Connor but we were still in an angry whisper match. I pulled out my phone and showed him how I never received his text.

We stared at each others phone and realized it was a technical mistake on both our behalf. But, neither one of us wanted to apologize.

"This is on you, not me!" I pointed my finger at Connor's face. 

Connor grabbed my hand and took a step closer. He wrapped his hands around my neck and pulled me in for a kiss.

I was confused by the whole thing, but I didn't question it. How could I? The only thing I could think of was how soft Connor's lips were. I wrapped my arms around his neck and allowed him to continue.

I thought you didn't like me” I whispered before Connor kissed me again.

I thought you were this smart gorgeous girl when I first met you” I began kissing his neck as he continued talking “And then you pissed me off at dinner. And then again last week”

I looked up at Connor and his baby blue eyes were staring back at me “What about now?”

You're especially pissing me off right now, because I really want to hate you, but you look too damn good” the corner of Connor's mouth went up into a smile and I couldn't help but giggle.

He leaned me back until I was sitting on the examination bed. "Well, I still hate you too"  

"Oh yeah?"Connor's warm hands found their way up my legs. Just when he was about to unbutton my jeans there was a knock at the door.

Shit!” Connor jumped back and straightened his shirt and tie. Lisa opened the door a few seconds later and came into the room to see Connor sitting by the computer while I sat on the examination bed. He was scribbling onto his prescription pad.

Here's the lab results you wanted” Lisa handed Connor a stack of folders as she gave me the stink eye.

Great!” He took them from her hands “And this is for you" He tore off the sheet of paper he was scribbling on and stood up “This should help, but if it doesn't you can always come back to see me. Lisa can see you out to the front”

I looked down at the note as I followed Lisa.

Getting off in an hour, your place or mine?

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Table For One, Please.

Have you ever had one of those weeks where it seems like the days just flew by, but then you really start to think about it and you realize it was actually the complete opposite?

Well, that's how my week was going. I had been so consumed with studying over the weekend and any chance I got during the week, for my exam on Thursday, that I didn't even know where the days had went. I only realized how long it'd been since I had a proper meal because of the thundering growls projecting from my stomach during the exam.

I held my hand over my stomach as I double checked my scantron before turning it over to the professor. I grabbed my bags and hauled ass. Need. Food. NOW.

I was practically sprinting out the door when I heard footsteps following behind me

“Hey, wait up!” Emma pulled my shoulder, whizzing me around. Even though neither of us has much of a relationship outside of classes, things felt a little more awkward than usual when her date with Corey didn't work out. In her defense, he comes off as a great guy on paper, but I guess the sparks just weren't there.

“Oh, hey Emma...Was that exam ridic, or what?” I tried to make small talk as we both continued to walk out of the university's building and onto Park avenue. It was only half an hour past sunset and the street lights were already on.

“Yeah it was really intense” She sped up her pace and stopped when she was in front of me “I actually wanted to ask you a favor”

I hesitated to ask Emma to elaborate, because honestly the only thing I could imagine was a ginormous drool-worthy pizza and Emma standing between me and my love. She was totally food-blocking me.

“What is it?” I spoke slowly and cautiously, afraid that if I spoke too enthusiastically that Emma might think I agreed to do what ever it is she wanted.

“I know this is going to sound silly, but my friends are coming into town tomorrow night from Boston and we're all going out to dinner. They always tease me about my taste and I want to show them that my style has changed.” Emma's face was glowing with embarrassment. I took a good look at her and realized what her friends were referring to. Her taste was very simple and minimalistic. I wouldn't consider myself fashion forward, but I had definitely started taking more time to execute my outfits since coming to New York. So I knew where Emma was coming from.

“Will you come with me to pick out an outfit?” She looked at me hopefully.

I was reluctant to say yes, but I knew I was obligated. I could feel my stomach detaching itself in protest for not feeding it. “Sure” I looked down at my phone to check the time “You know who would be great for this? Kadie, she's a little fashionista! She's probably just leaving work, I'll give her a call.”

After letting Kadie know where to meet up, Emma and I headed towards 5th avenue. There's an H&M off of 51st street that always has the best sales. Emma complains about money being tight so I knew we could find affordable cute clothes there.

As we walked into the store I spotted a blonde excitedly bopping her head in and out of the clothes racks. “There she is” I lead Emma to Kadie. She had already gotten started shopping. Her hands were holding so many clothes a worker had to offer her a shopping bag

“Oh my God, Lynn. I forgot how epic this place is!” She picked up a shirt from the display table and after examining it, she shrugged her shoulders and tossed it into her bag.

The three of us went to work. We rummaged through clothes, shoes, jewelry, and other accessories. 

After an hour of speed shopping we sent Emma on her way into the fitting rooms.

“We'll be out here, Emma, just give us a shout” Kadie and I went to the clothing area next to the fitting rooms.

“Lynn, this would look so fabulous on you!” Kadie picked up a dress and held it up to me.

“I don't know, Kadie. Pink usually isn't my color.” I grimaced and pushed the dress away.

Kadie looked at the tag “But it's only $10!”

“What?!” I snatched it from Kadie's hands “In that case...” I put the dress into my shopping bag.

I'm sure Kadie and I looked like a couple of psychotic girls as we pulled out clothes from the racks and started laughing at the prices while putting them into our bags.

Emma called for us to come back into the fitting room. We picked out five different outfits for her but she had only chosen to show us one.

“I think this is it” She stuck out her arms as she slowly spun around. She was wearing a flowy black chiffon top tucked into a forest green pleated skirt and sheer black leggings with black polka dots.

Without saying a word Kadie ran out of the fitting room

“Kadie, where are you going?” I called after her

“I need those leggings in my life!” We watched her sprint down the stairs to grab herself a pair.

Emma and I laughed as she went into the fitting room to change back into her clothes.

Once we were done shopping we went over to the registers to check out.

We parted ways with Emma and headed back towards our apartment.

After we ate dinner I went back into my room to check if Connor had texted me. We hadn't talked since our run in at his practice last week. So I texted him to make sure we were still going to dinner the next night like we had planned.

We're still on for tomorrow night, right?

Fifteen minutes later I got a reply

Of course. Meet you there at 6!

The next day after classes I decided to skip our usual study session and went back to my apartment instead. I laid out my dress, clutch, and shoes, on my bed before leaving to class that morning. I quickly jumped into the shower to freshen up. Once I was dressed I headed over the the restaurant.

Connor and I were meeting at a Mexican place in downtown.

When I stepped out of the cab and went into the restaurant I couldn't spot Connor. I figured he was just running late so I went ahead and grabbed us a table.

“Would you like to order a drink while you wait” my waitress offered.

“Water for now, please” I didn't know how long it would take Connor and I didn't want to be completely bombed by the time he got here.

As I looked around me I noticed that the restaurant was filled with couples. It seemed like the place to be for date night. Connor had suggested the place and I was really hoping he wasn't getting the wrong idea.
_ _ _

I'm sorry miss, but you're going to have to give up your table if you don't order soon.”

The waitress came by my table for the third time to fill my glass of water. I was still sitting in the middle of the restaurant by myself at a table set for two. I shook my head as I pulled out my phone from my purse. There weren't any missed calls or text messages. It had already been an hour and fifteen minutes since I had been there.

I couldn't believe the nerve he had

I took one last sip of my water before I grabbed my clutch and left the restaurant. Connor had officially stood me up.

Monday, January 20, 2014

No New Friends

“I'm outside your apartment. Are you ready?”

“Yeah, I'll be down in a minute!”

I quickly grabbed my jacket and purse and ran out of my room. It was Saturday morning and Corey and I were on our way to the MRI research study.

Kadie must have woken up from the sounds of me thumping around the apartment. She stood at her bedroom door, in her Hello Kitty pajamas, rubbing her eyes.

“I made breakfast! It's in the kitchen! I'm so late! I gotta go! Bye!” I stuffed a bagel in my mouth and held another in my hand as I stormed out. I heard Kadie saying a delayed and groggy goodbye after I shut the door behind me.

“Hey, sorry you had to wait” I was out of breath from running down the flight of stairs. I handed the extra bagel in my hand to Corey.

“Thanks” He took the bagel from my hand “It really wasn't that long. Plus, I told you the research was 30 minutes earlier than it actually is”

I shot a look to Corey and he began to laugh “I didn't want us to be late! And it's just a few blocks away so I thought we could walk”

“It isn't at the school?” I had no idea what was going on.

“No, it's at a new facility that just opened. Apparently, one floor is all testing equipment and the other floors are all offices privately owned by different specializing doctors. It's suppose to be a new age hospital. You have the convenience of testing machines, but you have the independence of having your own practice. That way you can keep your patients and you don't have to refer them.” Corey's hands were all over the place as he excitedly spoke.

“Neat! So what's our research all about?” I couldn't have been more uninterested.

“The researchers are going to be testing the influences of different music genres on our brain activity”

As Corey was talking I suddenly remembered why I even signed up for these stupid researches in the first place, Emma! I was so consumed with living my ludicrously dramatic life that I had completely forgotten I'd promise to set her up with Corey.

Corey and I walked silently as we both ate our bagels. I tried to find the right words to ask him about his love life. We approached an intersection and our walking came to a rest. Corey's head was turned towards the oncoming traffic waiting for it to pass so we could cross.

I figured this was a great opportunity to ask. “Are you still single?”

Corey whipped his head down towards me and let out a slight laugh before stopping himself from fully letting a rip on a laugh attack.

“Is something funny?” I irritatedly asked.

“Are you interested?” Corey straightened his posture and his cheeky grin grew. His sudden confidence masked his otherwise nerdy characteristics.

I scrunched my nose at him “No!”

Corey seemed offended by my response “Good, cause you're not my type!”

I dropped my jaw and took in a sharp breath. My reaction didn't seem to entertain Corey. The traffic had passed and Corey began crossing the street. I had to chase after him since one of his strides equaled two and a half of mine.

I had a sudden realization “You're not gay are you?” To which Corey responded by stopping.

“Why would you think that?” He asked peevingly

“Oh, I didn't mean to offend you, it's just, I've had a few comical incidents happen recently that are begging me to ask.” I laughed to myself as I squirmishly continued “I mean those incidents weren't so funny when they happened, but I can safely say that it's hilarious now. The incidents, I mean, not the gay-”

Corey cut me off “Lynn!” he looked at me for a brief second before we started walking again. “Just because you aren't my type, doesn't mean I'm gay. And for the record, I'm not gay!”

“Well, in that case, just because I asked if you're single doesn't mean I'm interested!”

Corey grinned “Touche. So then, why were you asking?”

“Because, I have a friend who's looking, and I think y'all would be a great match!” I didn't want to give Emma's identity away.

“You don't even know my type. What makes you think we'd be a great match?”

“Well, what's your type then? Since it's obviously not 5'5”, brunette, perfect smile, and a killer personality?” I said sarcastically while pointing to myself.

Corey laughed “Look, don't get me wrong. You're a cute girl, but you're too social and it seems like you have a lot of drama in your life. Not to mention how high maintenance you are. I like sweet, quiet, simple girls”

My smile fell flat. I completely ignored the last part of Corey's comment “High maintenance?! I'm a simple girl! AND I'M SWEET TOO!” My tone was completely contradicting my words.

Corey grabbed both my shoulders and looked down at my Michael Kors purse, my Burberry trench coat, my Marc Jacobs watch, and my Tory Burch boots. (In my defense half of these things were given to me as graduation gifts.)

He furrowed his brows while giving me a half-smile as if to say, who are you kidding?

“Just because I like nice things doesn't mean I'm high maintenance!”

Corey laughed so hard he dropped his head back. I shook his hands off my shoulders and continued to walk “Whatever” I whispered under my breath while looking down at the ground. “So, do you want to go on a date with her or what?”

“If she's my type then I don't see why not?”

I quickly texted Emma to see if she'd be available to go out that night. She responded within seconds letting me know she was free.

“Tonight, 6 o clock dinner at Trivanti's. Make sure you dress nice. She's short, has red hair, and she'll be wearing a black dress”

Before Corey could figure out I was setting him up with Emma, I pushed him through the doors of the researcher's office.

We went inside and signed in. There was about 50 other people there. The researchers came one by one calling in different age groups. Once we were inside the lab we had to fill out consent forms before moving on. The researchers then split the groups into males and females. My group went first. The next couple of hours were spent listening to music while laying in a bed that kept pulling us in and out of the MRI machine.

When I came out of the testing room I saw that Corey's group had already went into a separate room. It looked like they were just about to finish so I decided to step out into the waiting room. An elderly woman approached me and handed me a check for fifty dollars.

“Here's your compensation for the day, dear. We need to clear this area for the next group. Would you please mind waiting in the building's lobby downstairs”

She practically pushed me out the office. I was too happy about the check to care. Corey never told me it was a paid research study. Sweet!

I walked out of the office staring down at the check, when I looked up, in the far distance, and I mean a good 100 feet away, was a gentleman examining a patient's chart. He was blonde, average height, and wearing a white lab coat with a light blue dress shirt tucked into gray slacks.

I gasped when I realized who it might be. I was so loud I broke his concentration. He looked up from his chart and I jumped behind the wall of the intersecting hallway before he could see me.

I waited a good two minutes before I peeked around the corner to see if he was still there. He was gone. I stealthy tip toed over to the door he was standing in front of. There was an engraved plaque mounted on the wall next to the door. It read:

Dermatology Specialists of Manhattan
Zain Ahmad, M.D
Connor Cassidy, M.D
Leo Spaceman, M.D

My eyes widened as I read Connor's name. My suspicions were confirmed. I was so busy the last couple of weeks trying to move on from Jonah that I had completely forgotten about Connor.

The door flew open so fast I didn't have enough time to run. Instead I stood there like a statue with my eyes tightly shut hoping that if I focused on being invisible long enough it would happen.

“Lynn? Are you okay?” Connor's voice echoed in the empty office behind him.

I slowly opened one eye and then the other. I awkwardly smiled as I stammered on “Yeah, uh, sorry I, uh, I thought I had to, um, sneeze”

“What are you doing here?” There was a small trace of a Boston accent in his voice.

“Oh!” I shot up my hand that was holding the check “I was actually just down the hall doing a research study!”

He stood silently starring at me as his body propped the door to his practice open. I get that leaving him at dinner was rude, but this silent treatment was so much more harsh.

“ this your new office?” I tried to lessen the tension as I looked behind Connor. He walked towards me shutting the door behind him.

He looked over at the plaque with his name as if to answer my question. Connor rolled his eyes and sighed “Anyway, I have a lot of work to get to” Ouch!

Connor walked out of the office and I stepped in front of him to block his way “Look, Connor, I'm sorry about dinner. I-”

“You know what? Don't worry about it. I was just looking to make new friends in the City, but it seems like you have too many to handle.”

My phone vibrated in my pocket. I took it out thinking it was Corey asking where I was.

“Case and point” Connor's voice drifted in the background as I snapped back into reality. He was still standing in front of me with the palm of his hands facing upwards.

“I'm sorry!”I slipped my phone back into my pocket “Let me make it up to you. We can have a redo of dinner? No phones, no friends, no distractions!” I sandwiched Connor's hands between mine. He let out a deep sigh and dropped his shoulders causing his head to roll downwards.

“Fine” he mumbled under his breath “So long as we don't have to crawl on the floor again”

I flashed Connor a smile. Just then Corey came walking around the corner. When he saw it was me he started waving his check in the air and shouted “Lynn? Hey, Lynn!”

Connor glanced over at Corey and then back to me. He gave me the most apathetic look ever “Don't make me regret this”

“You won't, I promise!”

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Coming Clean

“What are you doing here anyway?” I turned to Jaime who was looking into the lobby's mirror and fixing his tie.

“Old fraternity members always come back for the Battle of the Sexes party.” He started fixing his hair with his fingers.

As we walked out of the hotel Jaime pulled out a packet of cigarettes and offered me one “No, thank you” He shrugged his shoulders and placed one at the tip of his lips before he began to light it.

He dragged a long breath and then removed the cigarette from his mouth when he exhaled a huge puff of smoke. The smell makes me nauseated, so I turned away from Jaime pretending like I was looking at something in the distance “I've known for years...I've just never had the guts to tell my parents.”

“Does anyone else know?” I was still looking away at the tall buildings and street lights.

“Only the guys I hook up with” Jaime took another drag of his cigarette. “If my fraternity brothers knew they probably would've kicked me out a long time ago.”

“So, don't your parents ever bother you? You know, about bringing a girl home?” I was suddenly growing more and more curious about Jaime's life.

“Every fucking time I talk to them” He shook his head and looked over at me. He saw my gaze set on the city scape and looked over to admire it “There's always some girl they're hooking me up with whenever they come into town.”

“Like me” I laughed “It makes sense now why you were so mad that night”

“Yeah, I honestly didn't think I'd see you again. Which is why I acted a little more jerky than usual. And for the record, I'm sorry” He turned back towards me and mended both hands together while slightly bowing “You're actually a cool girl. And that's coming from a gay guy, so you know it's legit”

Jaime and I both laughed.

“I have one more secret” Jaime smiled with his eyebrow raised when he looked over at me “I made up that story about you getting belligerently drunk”

“WHAT!” I shouted so loud the people passing us on the sidewalk turned around

“Calm down, calm down! Nothing happened. I mean literally, nothing happened.” Jaime took one last inhale of his cigarette and threw it on the ground before he put it out with his shoe. “Your face when you woke up was too hilarious for me to not mess with you”

“So are you going to tell me what really happened?” I stopped walking and crossed my arms

“Well, you really did leave your purse at the bar. You were already drunk when you approached me. I didn't make you take any shots. When I was leaving you were standing outside crying. I, believe it or not, was concerned and asked you what was wrong. You told me your entire history with Jonah and when you were finally done spilling your guts I got you a cab. You told the cab driver you wanted to go to Jonah's place but I knew you'd regret going there drunk, so I called my friend to send his limo instead. Before you got into the limo you threw up and your shirt got dirty so you took it off. As soon as you climbed in you passed out. And that's pretty much what went down that night”

“Oh my god” I punched Jaime's arm “This whole time I've been avoiding walking past that stupid bar you told me I danced at!” I grabbed Jaime's arm where I had just punched him “But thank you for looking out for me”

As rude and inconsiderate as Jaime had seemed when I first met him, he was turning out to be the complete opposite the more I talked to him. He was finally letting his guard down.

After some time had passed Jaime decided to go back inside to the party. Kadie was busy helping Eva with the event so I called it a night. Sarah joined me since she was over the whole scene after the fiasco with Henry.

Sarah and I walked a few blocks to get some fresh air. When we turned the corner we saw a small crepes shop and our sweet tooth throbbed. We went inside and ordered a couple of Nutella crepes. There was a small table for two outside that we decided to sit at.

“Andy!” Sarah stopped in mid bite and began waving. I turned around to see him walking across the street. He came over to our table.

“Hey! Funny running into you again!” Andy said as he approached our table.

“Grab a chair and sit with us” Sarah said excitedly. “Why aren't you at the party?”

“Not really my type of party, but I wanted to see some of my old fraternity brothers again”

Sarah and Andy started catching up with each other as I quietly sat and listened. When both of them noticed how quiet I was Andy turned towards me “You said your name is Lynn, right?”

I nodded my head “Yeah”

“You have such beautiful eyes. It's almost as if they're golden” Andy tilted his head as he stared at me. He was only a couple of feet away from my face.

I felt uncomfortable so I started poking my crepe with my fork.” Uh...Thanks”

“Stop being so weird, Andy” Sarah slapped his arm.

“I can't help it, I'm sorry.” Andy laughed and got up from his chair “I really need to get going though, give me your number and we'll catch up some time” After Sarah and Andy exchanged numbers he was on his way.

We finished our crepes and Sarah called her driver to pick us up.

The next morning I decided to go for a run. Yes, a run. Something I thought I'd never do. Kadie's been forcing me into incorporating a few minutes of running into my walks so I can build up my stamina. And I have to say it's working! I can actually run five minutes straight without huffing and puffing.

I spent the rest of the weekend drowning myself in my studies.

It was Wednesday evening after our study group when Corey pulled me aside.

“Hey Lynn! Hey, wait up!” Corey loudly whispered as I was walking out of the library.

I turned around to see his lanky 6 foot figure running after me. If I didn't know who he was I would have ducked for cover. “What's up?”

Corey took a second to catch his breath, “Remember those research studies we signed up for?”

I was confused by what Corey was referring to “What studies? I don't think I signed up for any...”

“Sure you did! We signed up together at the fair, remember?”

It was coming back to me “Those were research studies?! I thought it was a mailing list!”

Corey laughed at my ignorance “I was wondering why you signed up without reading the details. Anyway, they're conducting an MRI research this weekend, do you want to come with me?”

The weekends were usually the only time I had to myself, free from school. I hesitated to respond, but Corey never really asks for much so I decided to join him. “Sure, text me the details!”

“Alright!” Corey stuck out his fist for me to pound “It'll be fun, I promise!”

Monday, January 13, 2014

Surprise Surprise

It's been a week since Jonah moved to LA and I've already gone through the 5 stages of loss and grief. It was Saturday morning and I was finally on the last stage: Acceptance. I needed to come to terms with Jonah being gone and move on.

Of course it was hard to do so when we were still keeping in touch with each other through texts and occasional phone calls. But Kadie knew I had to break out of the funk I was in.

Darlington, the PR company Kadie worked for, was hosting a “Battle of The Sexes” Party. Every year all of the New York based sororities and fraternities would get together for a night of mingling, laughs, and embarrassing games.

It was mainly kids in their under-graduate years, but Kadie still wanted me to come. She thought it would be a good way for me to get my mind off of things.

“You have to come Lynn, it's going to be so much fun!” Kadie pleaded

“I don't know. I haven't done the whole Sorority scene since college...”

“Trust me, it's not going to be anything crazy like the Real World-Road Rules challenge. I mean it's hosted by Darlington. That alone should tell you it's going to be classy and tasteful” Kadie grabbed my hand and led me into my room. She pulled back the ruffled curtain covering my closet and starting pulling out dresses “Plus, Sarah and Henry will be there. You can mope around with those two if the party turns out to be lame!”

It was a good thing I hadn't gone to Cozumel with the gang. Monday morning when I walked into class Sarah and Henry were sitting on opposite sides of the room. They've been inseparable since birth, but the trip to Mexico some how nailed a wedge between them.

Jebrone and Henry had been dealing with some relationship issues a few days prior to leaving. Apparently an ex of Jebrone's was in town and Henry found the two of them hanging out behind his back. You can imagine, Henry being the drama queen he is, how that went down.

They fought the entire time they were in Cozumel. Jebrone even left the hotel for one of the nights causing Henry to go ballistic. Being cousin's with Henry, and best friends with Jebrone, Sarah was caught in the middle of everything. She ran from Henry to Jebrone and Jebrone to Henry trying to help resolve their issues. By the end of the trip she couldn't handle it anymore. She did what I imagine I would do in that situation, she blew the hell up.

Sarah was finally able to get both boys into the room on the last night and she let a rip. She yelled and yelled and yelled. To the point that she didn't have a voice for half the week. She let them know how infuriated she was that they ruined her vacation.

Once Sarah had finally recovered her voice and Henry finally apologized for ruining her trip, the two cousins made nice and decided to come to the party tonight.

Kadie handed me a black dress from my closet and walked over to my vanity to pull out some jewelry. “Here, you're wearing this”

I took it from her hands and walked into the bathroom to change. When I walked back out Kadie had already placed a clutch and a pair of heels on my bed.

“Now hurry up and get ready like a good girl!” Kadie smiled and lightly tapped my back before she walked out of my room.

Sarah and Henry came to pick us up and the four of us made our way to the party. 

The event was being held at a hotel on the Upper West Side. When we walked inside there were signs pointing us to the banquet hall. Kadie had to find Eva and make sure everything was running smoothly. Sarah, Henry, and I found table to sit at that was just outside the commotion. The banquet hall was split in half with fraternity/sorority games on one side and a few tables on the other. There was an open bar in the back but it looked like all the under aged teens were trying to score a drink.

“This is so damn lame” Henry pouted. It was obvious he was dragged into coming like I was.

“Oh, shut up Henry. There's plenty of cute guys here” Sarah abruptly stopped talking as all three of us made eye contact with Jebrone in the distance

“What the hell is he doing here? Doesn't he know this is a Darlington event? He should know I was going to be here, how dare he!” Henry angrily stood up and Sarah tugged on his suit jacket to pull him right back down.

“Henry, you're not going to get anywhere with that anger. You know my mum always hires artists from Jebrone's label.”

“Ugh, what ever!” Henry stood up and walked away from our table and into a crowd. Sarah went chasing after him.

I was left alone at the table so I went over to say hi to Jebrone. He looked like he was just as miserable as Henry.

“Hey, heard about Cozumel. How have you been holding up?” I leaned in to hug him.

“You know how Henry is, so over dramatic. I'm sure we'll get over it soon enough.”

As Jebrone and I were talking Kadie came out from a back hallway and joined us. We all started catching up with each other until Sarah came, without Henry.

“I can't find him. He's getting on my last damn nerve!” Sarah grabbed her forehead

“We'll help you find him, don't worry” Kadie took both Sarah's hand and mine and we went looking for Henry.

As we went through the crowd of college kids Sarah ran into an old friend.

“Oh my god! Andy, is that you?!” The boy looked at Sarah for a minute before his eyes widened when he realized who she was. They gave each other a bear hug before she introduced him to Kadie and I

“This is Andy, he was one of my first mates I made in New York!” Andy held out his hand and we both introduced ourselves. He was there supporting his old fraternity.

He resembled a young Leonardo Dicaprio from The Wolf on Wallstreet. He looked very rich, prim, and proper. I wasn't surprised when he mentioned that he works as a financing consultant. But I was surprised by how down to earth and friendly he was, unlike most people who worked in that industry.

Andy and I were so into our conversation that I hadn't even noticed Kadie and Sarah were gone. I quickly excused myself and went looking for them.

I figured maybe Kadie went back to check on work related stuff so I went to the back hallway where she was earlier. There were a few doors and I had no idea which one would take me there. So I tried opening all of them until I found one that was unlocked.

It was a small supplies closet. At first I didn't see anything, but then I heard someone whispering. I opened the light and saw Henry. The guy he was with had his head turned away from me.

“Henry this is really not what you want to be doing right now!”

Henry looked over at me and back at his new friend. They started making out when the guy turned around to close the door. When I saw his face I gasped and almost fell backwards.

“JAIME?!?” I shouted

He looked like he had just seen a ghost. His skin grew so pale it almost looked transparent. I could see his heart pounding out of his chest.

Jaime came charging at me “Lynn if you fucking DARE tell anyone, let alone your parents, what you saw here I swear to god!”

I stood quietly pinned up against the wall as Jaime stood a foot away from me shouting. Henry ran out of the closet to pull him back. I couldn't help but laugh. I was relieved that nothing was actually wrong with me. That Jaime didn't like me, not because of my physical appearance, but because he was gay.

“How the hell do you two know each other?” Henry was confused

“His parents met my parents at the convention this past weekend. Jaime here forgot to mention he plays for the other team and our parents made us go out to dinner together”

“Ugh, I don't have time for this child's play” Henry walked out of the hallway back into the banquet hall.

Jaime dropped his face in his hands completely defeated “I'm sure you're going to tell my parents”

Seeing Jaime so upset about something so serious made me feel bad. I grabbed his shoulders to comfort him “You saved my life that night, remember? I owe you one."

Wednesday, January 8, 2014


“Is something wrong?” Connor looked down at me as I desperately crawled on my hands and knees. I was only a few feet away from the restroom. Why couldn't he just have waited a few seconds to approach me?

“Umm” I mumbled as I tried to quickly come up with an excuse “I dropped my phone on the floor! Help me find it!” I tugged on the end of Connor's shirt pulling him down to the ground. He was completely disgusted that his hands were touching the dirty floors.

He got up on his knees and pulled out his phone “I have a better solution, I'll just call your phone”

“Nooo!” I snapped at Connor. I knew my phone volume was on and if he called it, it would start ringing in my purse. I couldn't make myself look any stupider than I already did. I tried to back track “I have it on silent so we won't be able to hear it. Just look under the tables!”

I peeked over a table where a couple was sitting. They both stopped eating in mid-bite. They looked confused as all three of us exchanged eye contact. I looked over at Jonah and he was tapping away on his phone, completely clueless about what an idiot I was making of myself.

I quickly crawled over to the back portion of the restaurant. There were private rooms back there and even more importantly is was blocked off by a dividing wall where Jonah was sitting. I sprang up when I saw the hostess coming my way.

“Ma'am, your seat is over there” The hostess pointed to the front of the restaurant where Jonah was.

“Is it okay if we get a private room, please?”

“I'll have to check if we have any available. Just a minute” The hostess walked off.

I saw Connor crawling around looking under tables and tapped him on his shoulder “Hey, thanks so much for helping me, but I found my phone!”

“Oh, okay, no problem. Glad you found it.” Connor said in an unenthusiastic tone as he dusted off his hands. Right then the hostess came back.

“We have a room available. Would you like me to let the young gentleman at your table know?” The hostess' gaze shot towards Jonah.

“It's just us” My hand motioned between Connor and I.

“I'm sorry, I thought you were here with the gentleman sitting there” This time she pointed at Jonah. So much for girl code.

“OKAY, can you please take us to our room now?” I stood in front of Connor blocking his view from Jonah. His eyes widened by my sudden attitude with the hostess. I couldn't help it. This lady just wouldn't let it go and I was so close to getting away with it.

“Hey, I'm going to go wash my hands really quickly” Connor said as he looked at his hands “I'll be there in a minute”

The hostess finally showed me our private dining area. The room was lit by hundreds of candles and had instrumental Thai music playing. “Excuse me” I tried to get the hostess' attention before she walked away “What is this?” I made a circular motion with my hand.

“Ma'am, this is our anniversary room. Is there a problem?” I could tell she was getting just as annoyed with me.

“Yes, there's a huge problem! The guy I came with is just a friend. So, this whole set up here, is a little awkward”

“I'm sorry, but this is the only private room we have available. If you'd like I can set your table in the main restaurant area.”

“No, this is fine. Thank you” I responded to her in an irritated tone.

I knew Connor was going to get the wrong impression. I looked up at the ceiling and threw my hands up in defeat “Well played, God” I let out a heavy sigh and sat down at the table. I reached into my purse and pulled out my phone to see another text from Jonah letting me know he was at the restaurant. "No shit" I whispered to myself.

When Connor walked into the room he stood taken back for a minute. “Wow” he slowly walked to his seat while looking around the room. “This is nice!”

I gave him a half smile, not knowing if he was creeped out and getting the wrong idea. “Yeah, I'm sorry, it was the only room they had available” There was an awkward silence before I broke it “You know what? I was actually waiting for you to get back so I could wash my hands! I'll be right back!”

I walked out of the room and pulled out my phone from my pocket. I quickly called Kadie.

“What's up?” She answered

“I can't explain right now, but I need you to call me in exactly 5 mins!” I whispered into the phone

I could hear Kadie laughing on the other side of the phone “Is your dinner going that bad?”


“Okay, okay. Bye!”

As soon as we hung up I walked back towards the front door and then walked to Jonah's table from there.

“Hey!” I smiled at Jonah and threw my arms around him as he got up from his chair.

“Hey!” He smiled back and kissed me. He gave me one of those head to toe looks.

“Don't say it!” my grin grew wider

“You look absolutely beautiful” his dimples peeked through his cheeks as he winked.

We sat down at the table and looked over the menu. “I'm sorry it took me so long, I saw a table Kadie's been looking for at a shop down the street and I had to check it out”

“No worries. Just glad I was able to see you tonight” Jonah's bright hazel eyes looked up from the menu at me. I gave him a smile and he went back to looking at the menu.

I couldn't seem to stop staring at him. His hair was neatly made unlike most of the time when it's in a perfect mess. He was wearing a fitted navy blue sweater over a pair of khaki slacks. The way he rested his face on the palm of his hand looked like he was modeling his big faced watch.

As I was noticing these things about him I could feel my eyes burning thinking that he wouldn't be here anymore.

“Okay, I think I know what I want!” Jonah closed his menu and looked over at me. He saw the look I had and I lifted up my menu to my face and pretended like I was still reading it.

Jonah pushed the menu down and took my hand “Lynn, I know this is hard. But it's better that we can at least enjoy my last night here.” He struggled to find the right words before he continued “I wanted to talk to you about maybe working through the distance. I know it'll be tough but I love you, Lynn and I'm willing to do anything for you.”

I sharply inhaled as my jaw dropped open. I felt like I couldn't talk. I was completely speechless. Jonah just told me he loved me for the first time ever.

Before I could even get a word out my phone started ringing. It was Kadie. I didn't know what to do. I panicked and picked up my phone. “I'm sorry Jonah, I really have to take this!”

I ran to the bathroom “Oh my fucking God, Kadie!” I was panting on the phone as I paced back and forth.

“What?! What is it?”

“Can't explain! Call me again in 5 mins” I hung up the phone and stood over the sink to catch my breath. I looked in the mirror and tried to fix the little bit of eye liner that smudged from my almost tears.

I took a deep breath to calm myself and walked back into the private room where Connor was waiting.

“Ugh, there was such a huge line in the bathroom” I rolled my eyes as I sat down.

“It's fine, don't worry. The waitress came to take our order so I got you the Green Curry”

“Perfect! I love Green Curry!” I gave Connor a fake smile. Not because I didn't like Green Curry, but because I had this weird butterfly feeling in my stomach from Jonah telling me he loves me yet a nauseated feeling from knowing that he probably only said it because he's upset about leaving. Oh, and the biggest point of all, HE'S LEAVING!

Connor started to talk but I had no idea what he was saying. The voice in my head was much louder. I kept nodding my head and laughing every now and then. He could have been talking about civilian deaths in war for all I knew. Which wasn't helping my case of neurotic behavior, but I couldn't stop thinking about how horrible I felt for leaving Jonah at that moment.

Our waitress came into the room and gave us our food.

“..And after college I moved back to Boston...” I heard Connor talking as my phone started ringing.

I jumped up so fast it startled him “I really have to take this! It's important! I'll be right back!”

I didn't even wait for Connor to respond before I ran towards Jonah's table. I answered the phone only to tell Kadie to call me again in five minutes. I heard her sighing on the phone before I hung up on her.

“I'm so sorry about that” I smiled at Jonah as I approached his table and sat down. Jonah didn't smile back. He furrowed his brows and was sitting with his arms crossed on the table.

“The waitress came. I know you like Green Curry so I ordered it for you” Jonah said in a monotone voice. It almost sounded like he was mumbling. I rolled my eyes without Jonah seeing. I guess I was eating two servings of Green Curry tonight.

The same waitress that had given me my food in the private room was now bringing my new plate of food to the table with Jonah. Before she put my plate down she looked at me questioningly

“Were you just...”

I quickly cut her off in mid-thought, “Yes, I was just in the restroom. Thank you for the food”

She placed my plate on the table and squinted her eyes “ But, didn't I just”

“No” I cut her off again.

Jonah looked up at the waitress and back at me “What's the matter?”

“Nothing!” I quickly said. The waitress walked away to the front of the restaurant where the hostess was standing. They both looked in my direction as they whispered to each other.

I knew Jonah was upset because of the way I left after he dropped the L bomb. I reached over the table and grabbed his arms with both hands “Jonah, did you really mean what you said?”

“About working through the distance?”

“No, about, you know...saying you 'love' me?”

Jonah released the tension from his face and unfolded his arms. He took both my hands in his “Of course I did Lynn. I've fallen completely head over heels for you”

“So, you're not just saying it because you're upset we won't be together?”

Jonah laughed as if my question was a joke “Lynn, I've loved you since the minute I met you”

“Well how do you know it's love?” I whispered through the corner of my mouth.

“When I saw you the very first time, your golden brown hair was flowing in the wind, you were wearing this V-neck Beastie Boys shirt that was cut around the edges which I thought was so bad ass, and your jeans hugged you perfectly at your waist...”

I couldn't help but smile as Jonah described every detail.

“...And instead of feeling nervous about talking to such a beautiful girl, I felt relieved that I had finally found you”

I covered my mouth with both my hands and I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes again.

Jonah smiled at me “Jesus, don't cry Lynn”

I couldn't help but laugh at Jonah before I started blinking back the tears. When I was finally able to collect myself I tried to respond “Jonah, I lo-”

But Jonah cut me off before I could “No! Don't say it unless you mean it” I was caught off guard when my phone started ringing again.

“Shit! It's Kadie. I promise it'll just be a minute” I got up and ran towards the restroom again.


“Lynn, I have a life. I can't keep calling you every five minutes”

“It's fine I don't need you to call anymore”

“Are you going to tell me what happened?”

“Later! Bye”

I hung up the phone and went back to the private room. I didn't realize my eyes were red and my mascara was running until I saw Connor's shocked expression.

“Is everything okay?” he stood up

“I'm so sorry I have to do this, but there's an emergency and I really need to go” I felt like such a heartless bitch for leaving Connor the way I did, but I wanted to be with Jonah.

“I hope everything's okay, do you want me to get you a cab?” he leaned in to give me a hug.

“No it's fine! Enjoy your food. I'm so sorry again!” Connor stood at the table as he watched me leave the room.

When I got back to Jonah's table I didn't even bother sitting down. “Jonah, can we leave please?”

Jonah looked at me confused “Like, right now?”


“But our food just got here...” He looked down at his plate

“Can you tell them to package it and we'll eat it at home?”

“I guess. Is everything okay?” Jonah said as he stood up and pulled out his wallet.

“Everything's fine, Jonah.” I wrapped my arms around him “I really just want to be alone with you right now”

I felt Jonah kiss my head as he walked away to pay for our meals. I signaled to him that I was going outside. I walked to the curb to check if any cabs were coming.

As Jonah came out of the restaurant a cab pulled up and we both got in. When I closed the door behind me I looked over to see Connor standing by the front of the restaurant. We made eye contact and I lipped the words “I'm sorry” before we drove away.

Jonah and I couldn't keep our hands off each other the entire cab ride over to his apartment. When we got inside, without saying a word, Jonah picked me up in his arms and took me into his bedroom.

The next morning after we had taken a shower and gotten dressed it was finally time for us to leave. Jonah stood at his front door and looked around his apartment one last time. I wrapped my arms around him.

“Jonah, I don't want to hold you back from anything in your new life. Which is why I don't think it's a good idea for us to work through the distance. Fate brought us together once, I'm sure it'll bring us together again.” I knew if Kadie heard that she would be proud of me for putting my big girl panties on.

I looked up to see Jonah's red eyes. Even though he was upset he smiled to let me know everything was okay. I buried my face into Jonah's chest and began to cry. The more I cried the harder my body shook. Jonah's hands soothingly ran up and down my back to calm me down.

After I collected myself we went down stairs to hail a cab. When one finally pulled up Jonah threw his luggage into the trunk. And just like every short lived romance on The Real World, Jonah kissed me goodbye one last time before he drove away.

“I love you, Jonah” I whispered to myself.