Arrivederci

“Is something wrong?” Connor looked down at me as I desperately crawled on my hands and knees. I was only a few feet away from the restroom. Why couldn't he just have waited a few seconds to approach me?

“Umm” I mumbled as I tried to quickly come up with an excuse “I dropped my phone on the floor! Help me find it!” I tugged on the end of Connor's shirt pulling him down to the ground. He was completely disgusted that his hands were touching the dirty floors.

He got up on his knees and pulled out his phone “I have a better solution, I'll just call your phone”

“Nooo!” I snapped at Connor. I knew my phone volume was on and if he called it, it would start ringing in my purse. I couldn't make myself look any stupider than I already did. I tried to back track “I have it on silent so we won't be able to hear it. Just look under the tables!”

I peeked over a table where a couple was sitting. They both stopped eating in mid-bite. They looked confused as all three of us exchanged eye contact. I looked over at Jonah and he was tapping away on his phone, completely clueless about what an idiot I was making of myself.

I quickly crawled over to the back portion of the restaurant. There were private rooms back there and even more importantly is was blocked off by a dividing wall where Jonah was sitting. I sprang up when I saw the hostess coming my way.

“Ma'am, your seat is over there” The hostess pointed to the front of the restaurant where Jonah was.

“Is it okay if we get a private room, please?”

“I'll have to check if we have any available. Just a minute” The hostess walked off.

I saw Connor crawling around looking under tables and tapped him on his shoulder “Hey, thanks so much for helping me, but I found my phone!”

“Oh, okay, no problem. Glad you found it.” Connor said in an unenthusiastic tone as he dusted off his hands. Right then the hostess came back.

“We have a room available. Would you like me to let the young gentleman at your table know?” The hostess' gaze shot towards Jonah.

“It's just us” My hand motioned between Connor and I.

“I'm sorry, I thought you were here with the gentleman sitting there” This time she pointed at Jonah. So much for girl code.

“OKAY, can you please take us to our room now?” I stood in front of Connor blocking his view from Jonah. His eyes widened by my sudden attitude with the hostess. I couldn't help it. This lady just wouldn't let it go and I was so close to getting away with it.

“Hey, I'm going to go wash my hands really quickly” Connor said as he looked at his hands “I'll be there in a minute”

The hostess finally showed me our private dining area. The room was lit by hundreds of candles and had instrumental Thai music playing. “Excuse me” I tried to get the hostess' attention before she walked away “What is this?” I made a circular motion with my hand.

“Ma'am, this is our anniversary room. Is there a problem?” I could tell she was getting just as annoyed with me.

“Yes, there's a huge problem! The guy I came with is just a friend. So, this whole set up here, is a little awkward”

“I'm sorry, but this is the only private room we have available. If you'd like I can set your table in the main restaurant area.”

“No, this is fine. Thank you” I responded to her in an irritated tone.

I knew Connor was going to get the wrong impression. I looked up at the ceiling and threw my hands up in defeat “Well played, God” I let out a heavy sigh and sat down at the table. I reached into my purse and pulled out my phone to see another text from Jonah letting me know he was at the restaurant. "No shit" I whispered to myself.

When Connor walked into the room he stood taken back for a minute. “Wow” he slowly walked to his seat while looking around the room. “This is nice!”

I gave him a half smile, not knowing if he was creeped out and getting the wrong idea. “Yeah, I'm sorry, it was the only room they had available” There was an awkward silence before I broke it “You know what? I was actually waiting for you to get back so I could wash my hands! I'll be right back!”

I walked out of the room and pulled out my phone from my pocket. I quickly called Kadie.

“What's up?” She answered

“I can't explain right now, but I need you to call me in exactly 5 mins!” I whispered into the phone

I could hear Kadie laughing on the other side of the phone “Is your dinner going that bad?”

“YES”

“Okay, okay. Bye!”

As soon as we hung up I walked back towards the front door and then walked to Jonah's table from there.

“Hey!” I smiled at Jonah and threw my arms around him as he got up from his chair.

“Hey!” He smiled back and kissed me. He gave me one of those head to toe looks.

“Don't say it!” my grin grew wider

“You look absolutely beautiful” his dimples peeked through his cheeks as he winked.

We sat down at the table and looked over the menu. “I'm sorry it took me so long, I saw a table Kadie's been looking for at a shop down the street and I had to check it out”

“No worries. Just glad I was able to see you tonight” Jonah's bright hazel eyes looked up from the menu at me. I gave him a smile and he went back to looking at the menu.

I couldn't seem to stop staring at him. His hair was neatly made unlike most of the time when it's in a perfect mess. He was wearing a fitted navy blue sweater over a pair of khaki slacks. The way he rested his face on the palm of his hand looked like he was modeling his big faced watch.

As I was noticing these things about him I could feel my eyes burning thinking that he wouldn't be here anymore.

“Okay, I think I know what I want!” Jonah closed his menu and looked over at me. He saw the look I had and I lifted up my menu to my face and pretended like I was still reading it.

Jonah pushed the menu down and took my hand “Lynn, I know this is hard. But it's better that we can at least enjoy my last night here.” He struggled to find the right words before he continued “I wanted to talk to you about maybe working through the distance. I know it'll be tough but I love you, Lynn and I'm willing to do anything for you.”

I sharply inhaled as my jaw dropped open. I felt like I couldn't talk. I was completely speechless. Jonah just told me he loved me for the first time ever.

Before I could even get a word out my phone started ringing. It was Kadie. I didn't know what to do. I panicked and picked up my phone. “I'm sorry Jonah, I really have to take this!”

I ran to the bathroom “Oh my fucking God, Kadie!” I was panting on the phone as I paced back and forth.

“What?! What is it?”

“Can't explain! Call me again in 5 mins” I hung up the phone and stood over the sink to catch my breath. I looked in the mirror and tried to fix the little bit of eye liner that smudged from my almost tears.

I took a deep breath to calm myself and walked back into the private room where Connor was waiting.

“Ugh, there was such a huge line in the bathroom” I rolled my eyes as I sat down.

“It's fine, don't worry. The waitress came to take our order so I got you the Green Curry”

“Perfect! I love Green Curry!” I gave Connor a fake smile. Not because I didn't like Green Curry, but because I had this weird butterfly feeling in my stomach from Jonah telling me he loves me yet a nauseated feeling from knowing that he probably only said it because he's upset about leaving. Oh, and the biggest point of all, HE'S LEAVING!

Connor started to talk but I had no idea what he was saying. The voice in my head was much louder. I kept nodding my head and laughing every now and then. He could have been talking about civilian deaths in war for all I knew. Which wasn't helping my case of neurotic behavior, but I couldn't stop thinking about how horrible I felt for leaving Jonah at that moment.

Our waitress came into the room and gave us our food.

“..And after college I moved back to Boston...” I heard Connor talking as my phone started ringing.

I jumped up so fast it startled him “I really have to take this! It's important! I'll be right back!”

I didn't even wait for Connor to respond before I ran towards Jonah's table. I answered the phone only to tell Kadie to call me again in five minutes. I heard her sighing on the phone before I hung up on her.

“I'm so sorry about that” I smiled at Jonah as I approached his table and sat down. Jonah didn't smile back. He furrowed his brows and was sitting with his arms crossed on the table.

“The waitress came. I know you like Green Curry so I ordered it for you” Jonah said in a monotone voice. It almost sounded like he was mumbling. I rolled my eyes without Jonah seeing. I guess I was eating two servings of Green Curry tonight.

The same waitress that had given me my food in the private room was now bringing my new plate of food to the table with Jonah. Before she put my plate down she looked at me questioningly

“Were you just...”

I quickly cut her off in mid-thought, “Yes, I was just in the restroom. Thank you for the food”

She placed my plate on the table and squinted her eyes “ But, didn't I just”

“No” I cut her off again.

Jonah looked up at the waitress and back at me “What's the matter?”

“Nothing!” I quickly said. The waitress walked away to the front of the restaurant where the hostess was standing. They both looked in my direction as they whispered to each other.

I knew Jonah was upset because of the way I left after he dropped the L bomb. I reached over the table and grabbed his arms with both hands “Jonah, did you really mean what you said?”

“About working through the distance?”

“No, about, you know...saying you 'love' me?”

Jonah released the tension from his face and unfolded his arms. He took both my hands in his “Of course I did Lynn. I've fallen completely head over heels for you”

“So, you're not just saying it because you're upset we won't be together?”

Jonah laughed as if my question was a joke “Lynn, I've loved you since the minute I met you”

“Well how do you know it's love?” I whispered through the corner of my mouth.

“When I saw you the very first time, your golden brown hair was flowing in the wind, you were wearing this V-neck Beastie Boys shirt that was cut around the edges which I thought was so bad ass, and your jeans hugged you perfectly at your waist...”

I couldn't help but smile as Jonah described every detail.

“...And instead of feeling nervous about talking to such a beautiful girl, I felt relieved that I had finally found you”

I covered my mouth with both my hands and I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes again.

Jonah smiled at me “Jesus, don't cry Lynn”

I couldn't help but laugh at Jonah before I started blinking back the tears. When I was finally able to collect myself I tried to respond “Jonah, I lo-”

But Jonah cut me off before I could “No! Don't say it unless you mean it” I was caught off guard when my phone started ringing again.

“Shit! It's Kadie. I promise it'll just be a minute” I got up and ran towards the restroom again.

“Kadie?”

“Lynn, I have a life. I can't keep calling you every five minutes”

“It's fine I don't need you to call anymore”

“Are you going to tell me what happened?”

“Later! Bye”

I hung up the phone and went back to the private room. I didn't realize my eyes were red and my mascara was running until I saw Connor's shocked expression.

“Is everything okay?” he stood up

“I'm so sorry I have to do this, but there's an emergency and I really need to go” I felt like such a heartless bitch for leaving Connor the way I did, but I wanted to be with Jonah.

“I hope everything's okay, do you want me to get you a cab?” he leaned in to give me a hug.

“No it's fine! Enjoy your food. I'm so sorry again!” Connor stood at the table as he watched me leave the room.

When I got back to Jonah's table I didn't even bother sitting down. “Jonah, can we leave please?”

Jonah looked at me confused “Like, right now?”

“Yes”

“But our food just got here...” He looked down at his plate

“Can you tell them to package it and we'll eat it at home?”

“I guess. Is everything okay?” Jonah said as he stood up and pulled out his wallet.

“Everything's fine, Jonah.” I wrapped my arms around him “I really just want to be alone with you right now”

I felt Jonah kiss my head as he walked away to pay for our meals. I signaled to him that I was going outside. I walked to the curb to check if any cabs were coming.

As Jonah came out of the restaurant a cab pulled up and we both got in. When I closed the door behind me I looked over to see Connor standing by the front of the restaurant. We made eye contact and I lipped the words “I'm sorry” before we drove away.

Jonah and I couldn't keep our hands off each other the entire cab ride over to his apartment. When we got inside, without saying a word, Jonah picked me up in his arms and took me into his bedroom.

The next morning after we had taken a shower and gotten dressed it was finally time for us to leave. Jonah stood at his front door and looked around his apartment one last time. I wrapped my arms around him.

“Jonah, I don't want to hold you back from anything in your new life. Which is why I don't think it's a good idea for us to work through the distance. Fate brought us together once, I'm sure it'll bring us together again.” I knew if Kadie heard that she would be proud of me for putting my big girl panties on.

I looked up to see Jonah's red eyes. Even though he was upset he smiled to let me know everything was okay. I buried my face into Jonah's chest and began to cry. The more I cried the harder my body shook. Jonah's hands soothingly ran up and down my back to calm me down.

After I collected myself we went down stairs to hail a cab. When one finally pulled up Jonah threw his luggage into the trunk. And just like every short lived romance on The Real World, Jonah kissed me goodbye one last time before he drove away.

“I love you, Jonah” I whispered to myself.