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Thursday, May 14, 2015

Friends In Low Places

“So...” Kadie's voice lingered.”The engagement party is off?”

I looked over my shoulder and rolled my eyes at her. It was the morning after what Kadie and I were referring to as, “Slutgate,” and we were both laying on the bed in Kadie's guest room. She insisted that I stay with her. I mean, it's not like Jonah was ever home for me to run into him, but she thought I should be around people rather than sulking in an apartment alone.

Postponed.” I looked back at my phone and began scrolling through Instragram. “I mean, we didn't exactly end things.”

Kadie leaned onto her elbow and reached for my hand. “Where's your ring?” I pulled my hand away. “That's right, you gave it back. Sounds like you ended it to me, Lynn.” Her words reeked of sarcasm.

I grunted as I put my phone away, again, and gave my full attention. “I gave it back to prove a point. I can tell him to get his shit together all I want, but the truth is, he's a guy and guys don't listen.”

Kadie watched me in silence as I finally released the stress that had been eating away at me.“I mean, he always does this. He always puts work before everything. We could be at the peak of our relationship and his priority would still be work. I couldn't even tell you the number of times his mom has complained about how he rarely ever comes home because he's such a workaholic. The funniest part is that he thinks he goes to visit her too often. He just doesn't get it.”

I took in a long, deep, breath. “And that's why I gave the ring back. He wasn't there when I needed him emotionally. Yeah, I get it, the long hours are temporary, but that doesn't mean he can just shut me out like my feelings don't exist. That's not what you do to someone you're about to spend the rest of your life with. He needs to know how big of a commitment this is.”

Kadie sighed.”I know Jonah and I have had our fair share of differences, but cut the guy some slack. Before Adam was named partner at his firm, he was practically living at his office. I know what you're going through, Lynn. Jonah's in an industry where you have to stay relevant to be successful and if he's never doing his work, he's never going to be successful, and he's only going to resent you for it. Besides, there's gonna come a time when you'll be busy with life and you'll want him to understand. So pick your battles and chill the fuck out.”

Kadie and I both turned our heads to the bedroom door when we heard a faint knock. Adam stood in the doorway. “Good morning, ladies!” I could tell by the sympathetic look on his face that Kadie probably told him what was going on.. “Hey honey, have you seen my white Under Armour? The one with the black stripes on the sides?”

Kadie turned back towards me and jokingly whispered, “I miss the days he was gone cause now I can't get rid of him.”

“What was that?” Adam asked as Kadie and I giggled.

“Nothing baby, it's in the closet on the third shelf under your other gym clothes.”

Sarah called Kadie late that afternoon wondering if we heard from Rebecca. Kadie couldn't help but hiss at the mention of her name. Apparently Rebecca packed up her things and took off without letting Sarah know. Kadie filled her in on everything that happened the night before and Sarah was livid.

“I just can't believe it...” It was already the end of the day and Adam, Kadie, and I were sitting in the living room after dinner drinking wine (and juice), like adults do. “Why would she ruin our friendship?”

“She's always been the type of girl that dates around, you know those commitment phobes, and she has a thing with obsessing over people in the limelight. Remember how she was acting with Daniel at my wedding?” Kadie shook her head. “She ruined everything. The whole dynamic of our group is completely off now.”

“So, I'm confused...I thought Jonah dismissed her?” I decided to fill Adam in on bits and pieces of what happened to avoid the elephant in the room, but he was still playing catch up.

“Yeah, she came on to him, but he rejected her.” Kadie answered for me.

Adam looked like he wasn't getting it. “You called off the engagement because a girl came on to him and he didn't fall for it?” he said sarcastically as he chuckled.

“It has nothing to do with the fact that he didn't cheat on me and everything to do with the fact that he didn't trust me. He went against my better judgment. That's not what couples who are about to make a commitment do!” I sighed heavily. “If I remember correctly, you and Kadie took a break when you couldn't trust each other about the whole Poppy situation.”

Kadie quietly took a sip of her wine as Adam looked the other way. “Touche.” they mumbled in unison.

I was in the guest bedroom getting ready for bed when I heard Jonah's voice. I immediately stopped what I was doing and stood by the edge of the door frame to hear what was going on.

Adam and Jonah were talking so quietly I could barely make out what they were saying. I finally gave up trying to listen and walked out of the bedroom only to bump right into Jonah.

I gasped as he held my arm to catch my balance. “Lynn, are you okay?”

“I'm fine, you just scared me” I pulled my arm away. “What are you doing here, Jonah?”

“You haven't responded to any of my texts today and I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

I crossed my arms and stared at him. I'd only been complaining about his lack of communication for the past few weeks and now he was turning it around on me?

“What?” He furrowed his brows and stared back. “I don't want you to end up in the hospital again.”

“You should have made sure I wasn't there the first time.”

Jonah sighed, “Lynn...” He stopped talking when we heard whispers from across the room. Adam and Kadie were sitting on the couches, drinking their wine, and watching the two of us as if they were watching a movie.

“Sorry!” Kadie wrinkled her nose. They stood up and walked away, “don't mind us!” Jonah turned back towards me, but I watched Kadie and Adam walk into their bedroom. They thought I wouldn't notice the door they left slightly cracked so they could continue to eaves drop.

Jonah was about to say something, but I cut him off. “My mom's been nagging me to come home for a while and now that classes are over I think I'm gonna go.”

There was a second of silence before confusion struck Jonah's face. “Why didn't you tell me before?”

“Because...” I shrugged my shoulders. “I just decided today.”

He sighed and rubbed his forehead as he briefly turned away. “Why are you leaving, like, why do you have to go right now?”

I threw out my hands, “do you want me to give you just one reason, or what? Because I have a few...” He blinked slowly and waited for me to go on. “One, I don't want to spend my summer in an empty apartment. Two, I haven't seen my parents in months. Three, I think we both need some time to think about things, Jonah, I really do.”

“Fine” he blinked slowly again, this time leaving his eyes closed for a few seconds longer and sighing. “Go.”

Jonah turned around and walked away. He called out Adam's name and he appeared out of his bedroom. The two of them talked about work for a few seconds while Kadie and I stared at each other in confusion from across the room. They hugged goodbye after which Jonah turned to Kadie and said bye. And then he turned to me. Without saying a word he slightly lifted his hand and waved. I reciprocated.

“Holy fucking shit!” Kadie gasped once Adam shut the door behind Jonah. “The shade is REAL.”

“Lynn” Adam cut me off “If that was your way of getting Jonah to beg, I think you failed.”

I shook my head as I whispered out loud, “but, he's never walked away before.”

"Maybe you pushed him to the point of no return?" Kadie said. Adam nudged her shoulder to stop talking when he saw the confusion growing on my face.

The only way I could get a flight out to Texas was hopping on a standby flight. So, the next morning Kadie and I headed to the airport where we waited until I was able to get a seat. She didn't come with me since she still had some work projects going on, but she was planning on coming within the week.

It was late at night when I finally landed. Woody came to pick me up from Lovefield.

I wasn't in much of a talking mood and Woody definitely noticed. We were sitting in his truck driving down a back road in pitch darkness. The only light around was coming from Woody's headlights. Every now and then he'd look over at me wondering why I wasn't talking. He was use to Kadie and I talking his ears off every time we came into town. I guess he couldn't take the silence anymore, he reached forward and turned the dial of his radio until a country song came on.

“God, I love Luke Bryan.” I said as I stared out at the dark, empty, fields.

“He was in town not too long ago.”

“Yeah?” I leaned back into my seat and turned towards him.

“Yeah” His eyes stayed glued to the road. “It wasn't the same without you and Kadie, but we still had a ball, that's for damn sure!” Woody took his eyes off the road for a second to smile at me. “It was me, Mark, Lacey, Rebecca, and Mark's co-worker Clint. See, Clint was the one to get us the tickets, but it was because of Rebecca we got to actually meet Luke. Hey, how is she doing anyway?”

“She's doing great... at being a whore.” I spoke under my breath. Woody snapped his head towards me and I rolled my eyes.

“Whoa, girl!” He finally looked back at the road. “What's that all about?”

I felt my mouth twitch. I knew if I said another word I'd start crying again, so I didn't say anything.

Frankly, I didn't want to tell Woody either. He and Rebecca had always been close. I guess the single ones tend to stick together. The rest of us were always in one relationship or another. But, after discovering Rebecca's alter ego, who knows if those two ever hooked up or not.

“Hello?” Woody waved his hand in front of me “Lynn?”

I swallowed some air hoping it would stop my voice from cracking. “Nothing. She's just getting irritating, that's all.”

We finally pulled up to my parents house and Woody cut the engine. “Sounds a little harsh to me.”

I pulled my seat belt off “Yeah, I'm sorry, it's been a long day and I'm just in a funk.” I leaned over to give Woody a hug and jumped out the cab of his truck. He walked around to pull my suitcase out and brought it over to me. “My parents are gonna be at work tomorrow, so I'll swing by your place once I'm up.”

“Okay” He nodded. “But don't bring that attitude with you.” I was already half way up the porch steps when he yelled after me, “And tell Mrs. Barnes I'm still waiting for that peach cobbler!”

My parents excitedly greeted me when I walked into the house. I hadn't been home since Christmas and the last time I saw them was when they came to town for Kadie's wedding.

“Jonah didn't come?” My mom looked out the front door hoping to see him.

I smiled faintly, “no he had a lot of work to do.”

“Oh that poor kid” She kissed my head and wrapped her arm over my shoulder as we walked to the main living room. “He probably has so much on his plate right now.”

“Yeah” I rolled my eyes. “Something like that.”

“Well, where's your ring?” My parents excitedly plopped down on the couch hoping to see the hunk of jewel that represented Jonah's love.

“Oh, I...uhh...” I looked down at my naked hands. “I..uh...it was a little loose so I'm getting it sized.” I lied.

I didn't want to tell them what was really going on. I didn't even know what was going on myself.

My mom frowned, “Why was it loose? Have you been losing weight? You do look a little sick, is everything okay?” She stood to her feet and held the back of her hand to my cheek.

“Mom, please.” I took a step back. “I'm fine!”

“Give the girl some space, honey.” My dad gestured for her to sit back down.

“It's just that finals were rough this year and that's only the tip of the iceberg.”

I told my parents everything that I'd been up to...minus Rebecca....and the fight with Jonah...and the pregnancy...basically everything that really was going on. They didn't need to know right now. Besides, as far as the pregnancy goes, I would want to at least give Jonah a heads up.

We talked a good while before I decided to call it a night. I was exhausted and wanted nothing more than to emerge myself in a hot shower to wash away my problems. Unfortunately, it didn't work that way. It just made me even more anxious and needless to say, I barely got any sleep that night.

I woke up late the next afternoon, against my will. My phone kept vibrating. I rubbed my eyes and reached for my phone. It was Woody. He called me three times back to back. I answered the phone with my groggy voice.

“Lynn? Why isn't you here yet? I have some errands and things to run. I thought you'd be coming with me.”

“Woody” I sighed “I said I would come over when I woke up.”

“Oh...did I wake you? I'm so sorry Lynn! Alright well, just come to my parent's farm. I'll be there in an hour or two.”

I grunted as I kicked the blanket off of me. I knew there wasn't any way I'd be getting any sleep, so I forced myself to get ready for what was left of the day. I went down stairs where I was greeted by Marisol, our maid, as she swallowed me in a hug and insisted she cook me a big Mexican breakfast for lunch. Of course, I couldn't refuse.

I headed on my way to Woody's parents farm. It was a little more out in the country, but it wasn't too far from where I was. He still hadn't gotten there when I came so I decided to just hang out in the barn yard until then.

I was filled with memories as I opened the door and walked in. We spent a lot of random nights here. It was like our own private clubhouse. There use to be blankets that covered the haystacks for us to sit on and tables, and stringed lights, but now all of that was gone. It was just a regular old barn yard.

I grabbed two of the haystacks and sat them next to each other and laid down. I stared up at the wood beams at intricately came together to form the ceiling. It was happening again, I was falling back into my thoughts, somewhere I didn't have the energy to go today.

I snapped out of it when I heard the door creak open. I figured it was Woody, so I didn't get up.

“Lynn?” I heard a familiar voice. “Is that you?”

I looked up to find Joshua standing a few feet away. He pulled each finger of his gloves off and tossed them to the side. “What are you doing here?” I asked as I sat up. He was the last person I wanted to see right now.

He smiled. “Nice to see you too!”

“I'm sorry” I shook my head. “You just caught me off guard.”

“I just came to check on Raisin. Thought I'd clean up her stable while I was here.” Raisin was Joshua's horse. Well, not necessarily his, more like he belonged to Woody's parents, but he just treated Raisin like she was his own. “I had no idea you were coming to town.”

I raised my eyebrow, “do you ever?”

Joshua laughed, “You're turning into a true Yankee with that sarcasm.”

I rolled my eyes. "You say that to me every time."

"Well, it's true." He grabbed a hay stack and sat next to me. “How's it going?”

“It's okay” I nodded. “How's everything with you? How's Franny?”

Joshua scrunched his face. “Things didn't work out between us.”

“Oh no?” I have to say I did feel a little bad. After we mended things I honestly wanted him to move on.

He cleared his throat. “How's uh...” He pretended like he was struggling to remember."...Mr.ShowBiz"

“Jonah? I know you know his name, Joshua.” His cheeks grew pink. “He's great.” I mumbled.

I felt Joshua's eyes on me. I looked at him and he furrowed his brows. “What's wrong?”

“Nothing” I insisted.

“I can tell when you're upset, Lynn.” He leaned his hand on his knee and turned towards me. “What's wrong?”

I'm not super proud of this moment, but I couldn't help it. Everyone kept asking me what was going on and the more I tried to hold it in, the more I wanted to explode. So, I did. I spilled my guts to Joshua, Something I never thought I'd ever do post-cross country move..

“Can I tell you something?” Joshua asked. “I kind of always had a bad feeling about Rebecca.”

“You wouldn't be the first one to tell me that. It doesn't matter though, I gave the ring back.” I sniffled.

“I'm sorry, Lynn.” He placed his hand over mine sympathetically.

“When things ended between us, I made myself believe it was because I didn't want to get married or have kids or settle down in any way. But then when I moved to New York I met this amazing guy who made me feel like I wanted nothing more than to have those things. It was hard coming to terms with it, but I finally accepted that that's what I wanted and...look” I frowned as I looked at Joshua. “I'm still walking away with nothing.”

Joshua leaned over and gave me an awkward side hug. “It's okay, things don't always work out like their suppose to. Franny was the first girl I really fell for after you. I was going to propose to her.” he dropped his head as he spoke.

“Oh, Joshua, I didn't know that.”

He went on to tell me about how they'd met by fate and the way she gave him a whole new perspective on life. “Long story short, things didn't play out the way I wanted them to.”

I laughed out loud. I didn't mean to, but I did.

Joshua looked at me confused. “What?”

“Nothing” I shook my head as I smiled. “Who would have thought we'd be sitting here bonding over our failed relationships?” I hate to admit it, but with everything going on, it felt good to just talk to an old friend. Someone who really understood me.

Joshua smiled and leaned in closer. “I miss this.”


___________________________________
Hello Love,
I will be out of the country on vacation next Thursday May 21st so in order to avoid issues in posting, NEXT WEEK'S POST will be on TUESDAY MAY 19th. Normal posting will resume the following week on Thursday May 28th! For any other NYD updates make sure to follow me on Twitter! @ZaraKWrites 

39 comments:

  1. So disappointed with how everything played out in this post.

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  2. TOO MANY FEELS!!! Why'd you have to do this to me Zara!!

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  3. Not feeling this.....great story gone bad....

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    1. Couldn't agree more, this blog has REALLY gone down the last 2 months :(

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  4. Agree with all of the above. Love this blog, but the turn in the story...? HATE IT.

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  5. Okay I was not expecting that! As much as I'm totally upset that Jonah and Lynn didn't make up I can kinda understand where she's coming from. I had major pregnancy brain and I was doing and saying things I didn't mean so on that note I'll give her a pass but pleaseeeee don't let it be over between them!

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  6. When did Lynn and Jonah morph from sweet, likeable people to stubborn, idiotic asshats? They are both being supremely stupid and self centered right now. Jonah has called Lynn "The One" and Lynn has said "I lost you twice. I don't want to lose you again", but they are both flinging their relationship away with both hands. They will both suffer for it, but even more, their unborn child will suffer for it. It's as if they woke up one day and pod people took them over. WTF? I know I am ranting and this is just fiction, but I have loved this blog and their relationship in the past, and it is hard to read them being so thoroughly unlikeable right now. For two such smart people, they are behaving like silly, spoiled children. Jonah's career aspirations and Lynn's pregnancy brain aside, they need to wake up and fix their relationship. Period.

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    1. I agree, I get people like drama but this is just depressing. I get its just a blog but when we have been reading for so long we get invested in it and once a week is torture when you are turning the characters and the relationship upside down.

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    2. SO TRUE!!!!! It's almost like the blog has a completely different author, I really am not enjoying the blog anymore but am hoping things turn around as I've been a loyal reader from day 1

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    3. To the last Anon., in what ways do you think my writing has changed? For you to think the author has changed due to the writing means there's a significant difference between then and now and I'd love to get feedback in order to improve my blog where I can. Thanks!

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  7. I'm bummed by the turn of evernts, but after reading all the negativity I feel like you need to now you're a great writer. one of my faves! I hate how things turned out in the post but at the same time you made me feel like I was actually there! Kudos!

    by the way, why do we not have a couple name for Lynn and Jonah? Lonah? Joynn? either way I'm rooting for them!!!!

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    1. Thank you, love! You say negativity, I say passion :) I always enjoy reading everyone's comments because I know it's coming from a place of passion and investment. As long as my readers are talking about the story, I know I'm doing something right! :)

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  8. Zara, I love you as a writer, but I hated this post.
    Totally bummed with these events. I understand that Lynn is upset with Jonah for being so busy, but Kadie actually talked some sense this post that iy is temporary and that there will be times where Lynn is busy when Jonah isn't. Lynn totally did not handle this the right way. It does not seem like a popular opinion, but I think Jonah did the right thing to not beg and just do what Lynn asked, she needs to learn that she can't just say anything and expect Jonah to beg her to say/do otherwise.
    I hope this whole Joshua thing doesn't lead to anything more than just a friendship. Lynn needs to end up with her Mr Perfect Jonah (and we all know that :-))

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  9. I really want to shake Jonah and scream at his face "what the eff is wrong with youuu???"
    Well, Lynn has her fair share of being childish and doing kinda poor job at handling her emotion, but still...

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    1. Last week I would have agreed with you, however, this post has me wanting to scream at Lynn. Sorry, but she needs to grow up and stop running away from her issues. You do not just leave and then "bond" with your ex-boyfriend. Not cool! She needs to sort her crap out.

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  10. I don't think it's the busy part. She gets that. But she tried getting hold of him, and he usually responds, but because of the fight with Rebecca, he wouldn't respond, and she needed him at the hospital. And she TOLD him about Rebecca, and he blew her off completely. Wouldn't listen. That raises a red flag for her that maybe they aren't ready. The person you marry, you need to have their back. All the time. Even if you think they're wrong, you have their back. Jonah just dismissed her. She knows Rebecca. Better than Jonah. And he wouldn't listen. And that's not right. I get that people hate this, i really do. But I've been there. It's not just being pregnant. She's alone. All the time. He makes promises, and then breaks them. And says it's because he's busy. I get what line of work he's in, but other people make it work. Jonah doesn't seem to want to try and make it work, he just wants Lynn to go with it and his job will always come first. She called. Left messages. If my fiance called me, even if I was mad, I still pick up the phone and listen to the messages. And I would have dropped every single thing right then if I knew he was in the hospital. Jonah let her down.

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    1. Wow you are making things up, she did not leave messages nor did she text him!!! Also when she told him about Rebecca it was through jealousy tantrums. Just because you have had past experiences doesn't mean they are the same. She did NOT leave him a message. Also he didnt promise he would be home for dinner he said he thinks he could get away. I get it he needs to work on being there more but don't make up things to prove a comment

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    2. I agree with Anon #2. Kadie even offered to have someone go get him. Come on! Stop putting your anger ahead of what is really important. Lynn also needs to learn to communicate like an adult instead of a teenager. Spouting off in anger and expecting someone to agree with everything you say is ridiculous. How can you be taken seriously if you aren't acting serious?

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  11. I want Jonah to show up in Texas!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But, with the way Lynn has been acting as of late, I am not going to hold my breath. Lynn needs to realize her actions are equally as detrimental to their relationship as the way Jonah's actions had been. NEITHER of them have been handling this well. She shouldn't expect him to chase her. I hope they come to their senses soon and both admit where they went wrong and make up. Or I just might lose my shit!!! haha

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  12. I'm over Lynn. She's being spoiled. Sure Jonah didn't "listen" about Rebecca, but Lynn wasn't that forthcoming with her real thoughts and feelings. Instead of articulating her concerns in a real, constructive matter, she danced around it. She wants Jonah to constantly prove himself. When is she going to be willing to do the same?

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  13. Also, disappointed that this was the route the author chose to go. It seems like a desperate attempt.

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  14. Lynn is preggo! Super duper emotional. She deserves some slack. Jonah needs to recognize that and even if he can't be at home, still show her some support somehow, not just abandon her to figure it all out on her own.

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    1. The way shes acting I don't blame him. Yes shes pregnant but Jonah is a dude and first kid how's he supposed to know women act crazy

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  15. Lynn needs to start acting like a grown up instead of a petulant adult. Guess what, relationships are hard. They are never 50/50. Sometimes they are 50/20 or 60/40 or 90/10. People who want their relationships to work talk out their problems. They don't throw fits and act like a two year old. Lynn acts like she wants an adult and supportive relationship but isn't doing her part either. What happened to talking it out? Like an adult? She ran off and left him. Putting the ex-boyfriend in the mix is unnecessary and pretty disrespectful on her part. She isn't just having a relationship issue, she is pregnant with Jonah's child. They both need to do better here.

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  16. This is quite a turn of events. I get why she'd confide in Joshua though. I think she was totally in the wrong to leave town right now, Jonah really needs her and she needs him, too. I'm torn!

    Check out my new blog:
    http://lifeofordinaryleah.blogspot.com/

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  17. Do not like this direction as a fan of the story and the characters, but that is no reflection on the quality of your writing. I just want to take and shake those two. On one hand, I would like Jonah to come to Texas, but I think Lynn is "more wrong" than he is. They've both made mistakes and I just don't think Lynn is owning them. That day when she couldn't reach him, I don't think she really tried. I would have been calling everyone and their brother to get a message to him. I have no doubt he would have dropped everything and been there for her.

    Ugh...I'm rambling. They need to both pull up their big girl/boy panties and work this out. mum

    PS...thanks so much for not leaving us hanging while you are on vaca!!

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  18. I'm glad I'm not the only who doesn't like where the story is going. The writing is excellent, but it's hard to like this storyline.

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  19. Do we always know right away how to handle things? No, we don't! That is why this blog is so nice - it is very close to reality. Me and my boyfriend can be very sweet, too sweet, but stuff happen, emotions happen and we mess up. That is life. A journey! I'm sure Lynn and Jonah are just figuring out their journey!

    Thanks for taking us on this journey. It is fun, interesting, frustrating, surprising, heartbreaking and everything I want in a story to feel REAL!

    Thank you Zara. Also thanks for the heads up - enjoy your vacation.

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    1. Loved what you had to say and very much agree with it.

      Thank YOU(!) for being a reader!!

      I'm gonna take your advice and enjoy it because I'm so overdue for a lay-on-the-beach-and-do-nothing-all-day day lol

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  20. Based on the kind of man Jonah is and the kind of character you've developed, he BETTER come to TX and the world better start knowing about the pregnancy...they are so good together. He needs a reality check, yes, but they are so good together and Lynn is also hormonal...don't let Joshua have a role in any of this.

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  21. So, I know you're busy with life and other projects... But, I just really need to read your writing everyday? Could you make that happen? Just kidding, kinda. Love your writing and love every plot twist you've ever thrown our way! Still hoping and praying that Jonah and Lynn work it out!

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  22. Chris - @nylonlover69 on IG/TwitterMay 19, 2015 at 8:51 AM

    Lynn: Y'all are killing me!

    Zara: you too! lol

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