Tuesday, August 5, 2014

The Purge

“Err, Lynn...”

Kadie nudged my shoulder. We stood aboard our flight back home in the narrow aisles of economy class. I looked up from digging around in my purse to catch her staring towards Daniel. He was pushing his luggage into the overhead compartment. I had a quick memory relapse as I remembered this exact scenario only a short 72 hours ago. Oh, how the situation had changed. And trust me, it wasn't the same butterfly feeling I had before.

Our trip to LA had been semi successful. I say 'semi' mainly because of my fail of a moment with Daniel. But, besides that, Adam and Kadie managed to sign a few new promising artists to their firm. Jebrone succeeded in managing to gain exposure for The Kicks. And, I walked away with knowing where my emotions truly lied and a new group of girlfriends.

Yes, a new group of girlfriends.

After our little heart to heart there was no stopping Lauren and I. It was like a thin wall of tension had been disintegrated and we were finally able to open up to one another. It turns out the girls were just a louder, quirkier, British version of me and Kadie.

It was like the end of summer camp when we all finally had to bid farewell. The girls had an earlier flight back to London. And the boys, including Tom and Ralph, were headed back to New York with us. They still had some things to settle with their contract before they could go back home to London.

“You want to switch seats?” Kadie whispered.

“No” I pulled my carry-on behind me as I continued to walk. “There's one last thing I need to straighten out.”

“Are you sure?” She asked again even though she was making her way to her seat.

I nodded my head and continued down a few more rows were Daniel was sitting. He smiled at me as I approached him. His hands gestured for me to sit down as he took a step back, allowing me to enter our row. “I guess we're flight mates again, eh?”

“I guess so” I smiled back. Sadly, this was the longest we'd been able to hold a conversation for the last couple of days.

We buckled into our seats and shortly after the plane took off.

I stared out of the airplane window and Daniel fumbled around with his tangled headphones. There was a jolt of turbulence that caused us to look over at each other.

“I...” He said at the exact moment I began speaking.

“You first” I finally managed to say after a long 30 seconds of us cutting the other off.

“Lauren told me that you encouraged her to take a chance on me. You knew how I felt about her and even after our...” he furrowed his brows trying to come up with a proper term “...incident...You still managed to see past it.”

I nodded my head, not knowing where he was going with his. His expression was saying one thing, and his tone another.

“Thank you, Lynn.” The corners of his eyes crinkled as his mouth curved into a slight smile. “You did what I couldn't manage to do in years.”

“Well I guess that awkward encounter wasn't for nothing” I said, making Daniel laugh. “I just wanted to say, I'm sorry.” The mood of our conversation quickly changed. “I'm sorry to have put you in that position. I don't think it had anything to do with you. I was just...just feeling lost with my emotions and I think I picked up on signals that weren't really there.”

“It's quite alright mate. At least some good came out of it, right?” He nudged my shoulder.

I was glad Daniel and I were able to finally bury the hatchet. It made for a decent ride back home.


I threw my bags on the floor and drowned myself in my blanket. Nothing's more satisfying than coming home after a weekend away and flopping, belly first, onto your bed.

I took a few breaths to relax myself before getting back up. “Just kidding” I whispered to myself as I picked up my bags and began unpacking them. A quality about myself I truly hated, yet deeply appreciated at the same time.

As I was putting my jewelry back into my vanity drawers the box which held the diamond pendant necklace Connor had given me slid out. I stopped and stared at it for a second before I picked it up.

I opened the box. The diamond sparkled from the sunlight that was pouring into my bedroom. I almost wanted to cry when I remembered the night Connor had given it to me.

He'd seen it on his walk home from work one night. It was displayed in a jewelry store window and he thought it would “look nice on me”. I could almost hear him saying those exact words as I reminisced. But, of course, every one of our greatest moments was followed by an equally horrible one. It was like Murphy had written his Law about our relationship.

That night, after he'd given me the necklace, we'd ran into Jonah. Our relationship hadn't been the same since.I winced at the memory and put the box back into the drawer.

I didn't think about it again until I was laying, restless, in bed that night.

I tossed and turned until I finally rolled over and picked up my phone to call Kadie.

“Lynn?” She asked in a groggy voice. Only then did I realize it was an ungodly hour to be awake. “Is everything okay?”

“Everything's fine. I really just need you to come over as soon as possible.” I jumped off my bed and rummaged through my closet for a box.

“Can't this wait until the morning?” Her yawn made it almost impossible to understand what she was saying.

“No, this needs to happen now!” I stood up straight once I'd found a decent sized box and hung up the phone.

I impatiently waited in my living room for Kadie to arrive.

A half hour later she stood with me looking down at a box of miscellaneous things.

“What are we looking at?”

“This is everything in my apartment that was either given to me by Connor and Jonah, or reminds me of them.” I said matter-of-factly.

“Lynn” She looked up at me. “This is a lot of shit.”

“I can't help if I have vivid memories” I said, crossing my arms.

“But, but...” She reached down for the box with the diamond necklace. “This is a diamond. You can't possibly get rid of this Lynn, you're crazy!”

I slapped the box out of her hand. “I'm doing it, K. I'm starting over.”


  1. Give Kadie the necklace. Lol that's what I did with stuff that I got from exes, I gave it to my sister. I'm conflicted on the purging thing when relationships end. On the one hand, I can understand if something just brings up old memories. On the other, if its something you really like, I think you can keep that. I'm married now and I have this carved soapstone elephant from my first boyfriend. No biggie.

  2. Ah but I love Connor! I think this is great of Lynn, she needs it. I'm glad her & Daniel talked passed their tension!

  3. I'm.all caught up!

    I for one keep everything ny exes give me! Lol. I have a diamond cross my ex bought that I NEVER take off. Only time I went without it was for a repair. I find that breakups and recovery are difficult no matter what. Something, everything will likely remind you of that person, so I chose not to run from it. I think it helps me heal faster :) But to each his own. So glad to see that Lynn is moving on.

  4. I still so want her and Connor to work. She should at least sell the necklace!

    New Beginning, New Adventures

  5. I love Connor and Lynn together! Don't let him go!

  6. She and Jonah should be together!

  7. I thought about this during the first post where the bands girl friends were introduced and I'm so glad they were so welcoming of Kadie and Lynn. So often when new girls are introduced to a group, and especially a band, the current group of girls are not very welcoming. It was very refreshing to see that all of them got along really well.

  8. I love Connor I can't wait until Lynn runs into him again!

  9. CONNOR! CONNOR! CONNOR! I miss them together.......sigh.