Thursday, April 16, 2015

Bitch Don't Kill My Vibe

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.”

Jonah cooed as he shut the front door behind Rebecca. She'd been here a week and Jonah and I were just starting to realize how hard it was to hide the beginning stages of a pregnancy from a housemate.

“More of the latter.” I grunted, “If she asks me one more time why I'm not having a drink, I think I'm going to lose it!”

Jonah's eyes widened as he came over and sat me down on the couch. “We can't have that happen now can we?”

Earlier in the week I managed to meet up with Kadie without Rebecca knowing. At that point it'd only been a couple days since she came into town, but with my morning sickness kicking in at it's leisure I was starting to find her stay inconvenient. I knew she was only in town to find an apartment for now, but anything to get her out the door faster was better.

Kadie agreed to convince Rebecca to stay at her place. Our plan failed when Rebecca turned down her offer. She didn't want to impose on Kadie and Adam since they'd just gotten married. There was so much “pushing” I could do before she'd find out I wanted her gone. Knowing Rebecca she'd ask every question in the book to figure out what was going on. So, instead I'd resorted to having her out the apartment as much as possible.

Like, right now. I asked Sarah to take Rebecca out for a while. I'd been stressed from catching up on my studying all week and I just needed a few minutes of sanity with Jonah. Sarah didn't mind at all. She met Rebecca the last few times she came to town and since Kadie's wedding the two had grown close. I guess Rebecca was just happy Woody's attitude had changed since Sarah and him had their not-so-secret affair. Sarah and Woody thought they were being sneaky, but we all knew they were still keeping in touch.

“I'm such a bitch” I sighed. “She's really not as terrible as I'm making her seem.”

“She's really not” Jonah agreed. “But, it's okay, you're just stressed.”

I was snuggled into the corner of the couch and Jonah sat, with one leg tucked in, facing me. His arm hung over the back of the couch as his fingers played with my hair.

“Did I ever tell you how I met Rebecca?” I asked as I folded my arms across my chest.

Jonah shook his head and I continued on.

“I use to idolize Kadie when I was younger.” Jonah laughed. “What! I'm serious. She was like the big sister I never had. Anyway, I was still in elementary school when she'd gone off to middle school. It was the first time the two of us weren't together.”

“What a bummer” Jonah teased. He made a straight face when I looked over at him, but I could tell he was sucking in his cheeks to hide his laughter.

I rolled my eyes and went on, “So, Rebecca was like the popular girl in our class. She's as sweet as honey now, but back then she had a big head.” I smiled as I remembered the way things used to be. “After Kadie left I turned into this shy kid. I mean I had friends, but I wasn't as outward as Rebecca was, she was a little firecracker.”

“I can't imagine that.” Jonah shook his head. “You, shy? Rebecca, a firecracker? You're telling me a real story right?”

“100 percent authentic!” I smiled. “So, of course, being the popular one she was friends with all the mean girls.”

Jonah held my chin and spoke in a baby voice, “Aw, did they tease my little Lynn?”

“Matter of fact, Jonah, they did!” I laughed and pushed his hand away. “It was always over the dumbest things. Like how my mom always made me wear dresses with ribbon in my hair, they'd called me Prissy Missy. They'd make fun of the fact that I read books during recess.”

Jonah looked baffled, “reading during recess? What a nerd!” He teased. “I didn't even do that.”

“You'll love this then, one day I was walking home from school, and I was reading my book...”

“You were just asking for it, Lynn, weren't you?” We both laughed at the thought.

“Since Kadie was in middle school, she'd get out earlier than us and wait for me at the corner where the dirt road led to our neighborhood. As I'm walking Rebecca comes up to me and starts teasing me, 'Prissy missy! Prissy missy!' She took the ribbon out of my hair and snatched my book from my hands. Well, she had no idea Kadie had been watching the whole thing. So here comes Kadie, who's a good foot taller than us, stomping her feet and yelling. Rebecca got so scared she ran home crying and never teased me again.”

“Unbelievable. Who knew she was such a little monster?”

“It wasn't until the next year when we were in middle school that Rebecca and I came across each other again. We were in the same science class and our teacher paired us up for a project. She apologized profusely and I finally accepted it. Once I got to know her I realized she was actually nothing like that girl I knew in elementary school. She was just lashing out because her parents were going through a nasty divorce. Same thing happened with Kadie's parents so they ended up bonding over it.” I shrugged my shoulders. “And eventually we ended up becoming the best of friends.”

“Prissy Missy” Jonah laughed and whispered to himself as he leaned his head against the couch. “That actually makes a lot of sense”

I leaned away from him and gave him a look. “In what way?”

“Huh?” Jonah pretended like he didn't hear me and smiled. The phony look of confusion on his face actually looked quiet adorable.

“In what way?” I pushed his shoulder back and he began laughing. “Four-eyed nerd” I mocked him for wearing his glasses. He usually only wore them when he was working at home, but that didn't mean I couldn't tease him about it.

“Are you sure you weren't the bully?” He asked as I continued to push him away.

“Very funny” I rolled my eyes before Jonah was able to get a good grip around my waist.

“Say sorry.” He playfully demanded. I shook my head and he pulled my body in closer. “Say it!” I curled my lips inwards and refused to give in. He slightly smiled from the corner of his mouth and I knew exactly what he was about to do. “Don't make me do it, Lynn.” I began squirming again when he lowered his face to my neck. I yelped as the scruffiness from his five o'clock shadow tickled my skin.

“Jonah!” I begged for mercy. He pulled away and allowed me one more chance to redeem myself and I finally caved. I held his face between my hands where I could see it. His eyes were looking down at me as I stared at the smile on his face. “You want to know the truth? I think the glasses make you even hotter.”

Jonah shook his head, “That doesn't sound like an apology to me.” he teased.

I tried pulling away again as he slowly lowered his face. “Okay, okay, okay! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!”

We both laughed at my outburst.

“Don't lie” He rubbed his hands against the stumble on his face, “It actually turns you on, doesn't it.”

“Oh my God!” I whispered as I widened my eyes. “So much”

I leaned in and kissed him. Neither one of us could hide our smiles. We'd been waiting for this moment all week. Anything to get more than just a kiss without someone being around to kill the vibe.

My hand caressed his jaw line as I kissed his cheek, and then his ear, and then his neck. His hand grazed the bare skin under my shirt. With every kiss I slowly climbed into Jonah's lap. He pulled my face back towards him and we made out like two lovers who'd been reunited.

“Shit” he whispered between our heavy breaths. I looked at him. “I don't think I'll ever get use to how beautiful you are.”

I rolled my eyes ( but really I was melting on the inside) “You're just trying to get some.”

“It's working isn't it?”He smiled mischievously.
Just as Jonah began unbuckling his belt we heard the rustling of keys against the door. We froze in a panic. “For fuck's sake!” Jonah whimpered in defeat as his body laid over mine.

Make sure you check back in tomorrow for a bonus post! :) 


  1. For some reason Rebecca really bothers me... She doesn't want to impose on the newlyweds, but she's okay with imposing on the newly engaged couple? Hope she goes and gets her own place soon!

    1. I agree, especially when she never asked

    2. Exactly what I was thinking! If that's Rebecca about to walk in on them, maybe she'll be moving out sooner rather than later :)

  2. Did anyone else find it annoying that Lynn couldn't get two sentences into her story without Jonah chiming in trying to be funny? Let her talk man!

  3. I cannot handle Rebecca. She needs to go away stat. I don't find it cute or funny at all. GO AWAY! mum