You Make Me Crazier

“Did we just step into a time machine?”

I slowly walked into Jonah's childhood bedroom trying to take in everything I saw. I didn't know where to look. There were shelves covered in novels and comic books, a line of collectible action figures, an old record player with stacks of records, and posters of shows and bands. There was only one poster that was framed. It had been signed by the Beastie Boys. I walked over to admire it.

“Jonah, how the hell did you manage to not let time touch your bedroom? This is amazing! I feel like I'm in an old 90s movie or something.”

Jonah laughed. “Trust me, it took a lot of fighting with my mom and sisters. They've been strumming their little fingers waiting for me to give them the go to redecorate this room, but I don't think I ever will. I like it the way it is.”

We walked over to his bed and sat down. On his night stand was a picture of Jonah and his father. They stood in the middle of a crowded banquet hall, both of them wearing a suit and tie. His father's arms were wrapped around Jonah, squeezing him tight, while he gave him a kiss on the cheek. Jonah's head was slightly tilted back as the photograph had caught him in the middle of a bellowing laugh.

I picked up the frame and looked over at Jonah. His eyes were glued to the picture like he'd been taken back to the day it was taken.

“Is that your dad?” I asked as I went back to examining the picture. “He's so handsome.” I couldn't help but notice the similarities. I held the picture next to Jonah's face and compared the two. “You guys look almost identical.” The only difference was Jonah's dad was older in the picture than Jonah's current age.

“That's my favorite picture of him.” He took it from my hands and continued to look at it. “It was the day of my Bar Mitzvah. We had so much fun that day.”

I quietly watched Jonah and let him sink back into his memories. “Casey's Bat Mitzvah was a couple years before, but it was nothing compared to mine. My dad always said I was his boy and that he would do anything for me. So, that's exactly what he did.” Jonah's smile grew “He surprised me by having the Beastie Boys come and perform at my party. Can you believe that? Do you know how popular I was after that?” He looked over at me as he laughed. “My dad, a New York City firefighter living in the suburbs, got the fucking Beastie Boys to come to my party.” He shook his head as he continued to laugh. Suddenly his face went emotionless. “It's kind of ironic don't you think? He always told me I'd be his little boy and when I finally became a man that night he died a few weeks later.”

“Jonah” I rubbed my hand on his back to reel him back in.

He looked at me and gave me a half smile, reassuring me that everything was alright. He scooted back on his bed so he was leaning against his headboard and gestured for me to do the same. “You wanna know why I kept my room the same?”

I nodded my head.

“Because no matter how many years have passed, no matter how stressful life gets, I can come home and lie in my bed and feel like a kid again. Like, if I stare at the walls long enough I can make myself believe that nothing's changed. I can hear the low rumbles of my dad's voice coming from down the hall, my mom's laughter, Casey gushing on the phone about her crush of the week, and Mandy crying because, I don't know, I broke one of her toys or something.”

“You're really blessed, you know that?” I took Jonah's hand from his lap and held onto it. “It seems like what you two had was special. Even though I love my parents, I would kill to have just a single memory where they weren't busy with work. You were lucky to have him, no matter how short of time it was.”

“I know” He sighed heavily. His hands dragged down from his head and over his face. He smiled again and jumped off his bed. Old, lively Jonah was back. “You'll never believe what I have!” He walked over to his shelf and dug through a pile of comic books.

“Let me guess, a first edition of some sort of comic book...” I shook my head and walked over to him.

Jonah looked at me defeated. “How'd you know?”

“Wild guess.” I laughed at the fact that I ruined his surprise. Not that it was something I would've been amazed by, or even cared for that matter.

He stopped shuffling through the comic books and looked over at me. “You know what else I'm lucky to have?”

“What?” I asked as I looked around.

He grabbed my hand and turned me towards me. His arms wrapped around my body. I laughed out loud as he'd taken me by surprise. I wrapped my arms around his neck and gently played with the hair on the back of his head. “You” He said as he leaned down to kiss me.

“You know what I'm lucky to have?” I asked him. He grinned, assuming I'd say the same thing back. “I'm lucky to have seen those ridiculous pictures of you as a kid. Honestly, what were you thinking with that shaggy hair? And those videos! I'm gonna have to get Casey to give me copies for blackmail purposes.”

We spent a good part of our afternoon going through old photos and home videos. Casey and Anna, Jonah's mom, were determined to embarrass Jonah with no mercy. They showed me videos of movies that he'd written, directed, and starred in as a little kid. And when I say starred in, I mean he played every character. There were some occasional scenes with his baby sister, but it was either because she crawled in front of the camera, or he'd dressed her up to play an inanimate object.

“I'm never going to live this down, am I?” He hung his head.

“No, you're not!” I laughed as I brought my hands from behind his neck to around his face. I pulled him forward and kissed him again.

It was a slow and gentle kiss at first, only stopping for smiles, but then it started getting heavier and heavier when a knock on the door startled us.

“Jonah, mom said to stop making out with your girlfriend and come eat dinner!”

We both rested our heads on each others shoulders as we laughed.

I held onto Jonah's hand as we walked through the hallway, down the stairs, and to the dining room where Casey was setting up the dinner table.

“Hey, mom, Casey, this is going to sound weird, but I could have sworn I heard a monkey”

“Very funny, Jonah!” A young girl with brown ombred hair walked up behind us. She wrapped her hands around his waist.

“Mandy!” He shouted as he saw his little sister for the first time. Jonah leaned back and grabbed her neck, putting her in a headlock. “When did you get home?”

She tried to answer him, but couldn't because of the lack of air supply. After wiggling around she finally managed to scream. “Mom! Tell Jonah to stop being so mean to me when we have a guest in the house!”

“Jonah, stop being mean and let go of your sister!” Anna said as she brought dinner to the table.

“Oh, come on, Amanda!” He pulled her out of the headlock and squeezed her in a tight hug instead. “You use to love when I would wrestle with you!”

“She's too good for us now, Jon.” Casey teased. “She's a New Hampshirite now.”

“Lynn, this is my baby sister, Amanda...”

“Mandy” She corrected him

“Mandy. She use to be one of us, and then she went to Dartmouth.” He held his hand to the side of his mouth “You know how those Northerners can be”

She rolled her eyes at him. Anna laughed and Casey nodded along.

“It's nice to finally meet you, Lynn. I've heard so much about you from Jonah and Casey. Mostly Jonah” She turned back towards him and smirked, “he can be such a school girl sometimes.” She put both her fists under her chin and batted her lashes.

“Okay, alright” Jonah said as he shoved Mandy away. She laughed with victory. “Let's not make Lynn think she's special or anything.”

“Oy Vey!” Mandy said dramatically in the same thick New York accent Jonah used to imitate his mom.

“I'm so sorry I told you to give my brother another chance, Lynn.” Casey smacked Jonah's shoulder.

“What?” He shrugged at Casey. “She knows I love her” He pulled out my chair for me and kissed me on the cheek before I sat down.

“Well, I love her too!” Anna smiled as she brought the last dish to the table and sat down, “Now, will you kids behave yourselves for one minute so we can finally eat?”

After dinner we hung out at the house for the night. Mandy talked about all the fun new clubs she joined at Dartmouth and Casey filled us in on her wedding update. Her and her fiance had planned a spring wedding earlier in the year, but it had been postponed after the horrible winter, that lingered on for the better part of the year, made it impossible for out of towners to travel. It's almost impossible to book a venue in the City during summer, so they had to wait until the following year.

It was mid-night when Casey had left back to her apartment. By that time Mandy and Anna had fallen asleep on the couch.

Jonah and I went back to his room to get ready for bed. I dug around in my bag for my tooth brush and face wash when I felt Jonah walk up behind me. His mouth was just next to my face as his hands grazed my pelvis moving upward, under my shirt, sliding across my stomach.

“What happened to not making me think I'm special?” I whispered, jokingly, as I turned my head to look at Jonah.

“You're not” He smiled back. His eyes intently staring at my lips. “I do this with every girl” I knew he was joking, but I still pulled away from him. He grabbed me and laughed quietly “Lynn, I'm kidding! I just think it's so fucking sexy when you get this little attitude. And, I'm not gonna lie, it's kinda a turn on seeing you with my family.”

“You're crazy” I sighed and quickly gave in, wrapping my arms back around him.

Jonah leaned down for a kiss. “You make me crazier.” The sound of his low whisper made me melt from the inside. I felt a chill run through my body and I gripped onto him tighter.

I don't know if it was all the teasing, seeing his sensitive side, or the way he lovingly interacted with his family, but I never wanted Jonah more than I did in this moment.

“I'm so glad I came with you this weekend. I saw a different side of you, and I feel like I'm falling in love all over again.”

“You know I already love you...” He grinned “no matter how much I tease you.” He kissed me just under my ear. I began kissing him, feverishly, as I tugged at his clothes.

We spent the rest of the night wrapped up in each others arms. We'd eventually gotten so worn out that we fell asleep without realizing.

The next morning when I'd woken up I was happy to see Jonah next to me. Every time we'd spent the night with each other, he'd always been gone to work before I could wake up. But this time he was there. I stared at him as he slept. He looked so perfect. The way a man who deeply loves a woman looks.

I realized that after all the confusion I'd felt that year, there was nothing that could reassure me about my feelings more than this moment that I laid in bed admiring Jonah.