“Hey”
Connor's voice was calm and low as he
walked through the front door. He gently placed his keys on the
kitchen counter. It had been hours since he'd finally decided to come
back home.
I sat on the floor of his living room
with my knees close to my body and my back resting against the couch.
I looked up at Connor as he walked towards me and gave him a sheepish
smile, my poor attempt at acknowledging his presence.
He sat down, in the same position, both
our eyes fixed on the blank T.V screen in front of us. Normally, the
busy streets below us couldn't be heard, but today the depth of our
silence was accentuating every sound.
“I'm sorry, Lynn.” Connor's voice
was so quiet I had to look over at him to make sure his mouth was
actually moving. Without looking, his hand slide across the floor and
laid on top of mine.
“Connor...” I pulled my hand from
underneath his and placed it on top. “I'm sorry, too.” He finally
looked over at me.
“No, you shouldn't be. It was my
fault.” He rested his arms on his knees and leaned his head against
his hands. “I should have just been open with you. But, I wasn't
ready to talk about it. And I don't think you're jealous, that just
came from a place of feeling like I was being cornered. And you know
my hot headed Boston ass can't handle being cornered.” I smiled at
Connor's self description as I stared down at the space between us.
“I know you were coming from a good place and I just had to walk
away from the situation before either one of us said something else
we didn't mean. I want you to know that I'm trying, Lynn.”
When Connor first left the apartment I
didn't know how to feel. I was so aggravated that things had gotten
so far. As time passed I realized that the things that had been said
were petty. I suddenly started seeing myself in Connor's position and
realized that, as much as it was both of our faults, I could have
prevented the situation. The more time passed, the fonder I became of
Connor. I hadn't realized how much my attachment to him had grown
until the threads of our relationship began to pull.
“I really don't want to fight with
you anymore, Lynn.” Connor's voice lulled.
“I know sometimes we fight, and it
doesn't mean anything, but today when you left it made me realize
that I really don't want to fight with you either.” Connor turned
his body towards me and sat Indian-style. “And...” I paused to
carefully choose my words while I turned towards him and sat in the
same position. “The reason I never tell you how you make me feel is
because it's indescribable.” I took both his hands in mine. “One
minute I want to choke you, and the next I just want you to be the
big spoon and cuddle.” Connor's laughter filled the room and
lightened the mood. “Every time you look at me, I feel like the
prettiest girl in the world. When our skin touches, chills run
through my spine. There's nothing I like more than being around you,
Connor. I'm so proud of everything you've accomplished. You make me
want to be more ambitious with my future.”
“Shh...” Connor brought his hands
up to my face. I hadn't realized the tears streaming down my cheeks
until his thumbs lightly brushed them away.
He gently pulled me forward and kissed
me. It was the slowest kiss filled with the most passion.
After a minute I pulled away and looked
up at him, “Promise me something” We kissed again, this time
Connor pulled me into his lap.
“Anything” He whispered between
kisses.
He leaned his body back until he was
laying on the floor, my body over his,“Promise me you won't leave
me like that again”
He rolled over so I was pinned between
him and the floor. “I promise” he looked in my eyes before he
leaned down to kiss me again.
We spent the rest of our day talking,
and talking, until the only way left to express ourselves was through
the motion of our bodies.
_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
Sunday after breakfast, Connor went
into work and I went home to catch up on my studying.
Just as I opened my anatomy book my
phone began ringing. It was Kadie. Adam was out for the day and she
wanted to stop by.
An hour later she was plopped down on
the couch in my apartment. “Lynn, what did you and Adam talk about
the other night?”
My heart started beating faster, not
knowing where Kadie was going with this. “What do you mean?”
“You know, when he walked you to the
subway station” Kadie was playing with her nails when she looked up
at me.
“Why? What happened?” I avoided the
question, hoping Kadie couldn't see how nervous I was.
“Oh, nothing.” She turned back to
look at her nails. “It's just, Adam's been acting weird since that
night, and I thought he might have told you something.”
“Weird, like how?” I asked.
Kadie sighed and leaned her head back
on the couch cushion. “Like, he never really cared what I was
doing, but then suddenly yesterday he was all up in my business,
making sure he knew what I was doing. I don't know, maybe I'm just
the one being weird.”
“Maybe” Before I could say anything
else Kadie's phone rang.
“Oh shit, it's Eva.” She answered
her phone and walked away to the kitchen.
She was on the phone for a while so I
decided to clean up the living room since I hadn't been home all
weekend. As I was organizing the books on my coffee table Kadie
walked back over to me. She was still on the phone. Her eyes grew
wide and her jaw was dropped.
I couldn't help but laugh at her
expression. I figured she was going to be working on a cool new
project and was excited to share the news. A few seconds later she
hung up her phone.
“Lynn!” I looked over at her,
surprised she wasn't smiling. “Eva's sending me to LA for two weeks
for a project.”
“That's great, Kadie!” I cheered,
but she was still expressionless “What's wrong?”
“She told me I'm working with Jonah's
team...”
I dropped the book in my hand. Kadie and I stood silently in the middle of the living room
staring at each other.