Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Making Me Feel Some Type of Way


Connor's voice was calm and low as he walked through the front door. He gently placed his keys on the kitchen counter. It had been hours since he'd finally decided to come back home.

I sat on the floor of his living room with my knees close to my body and my back resting against the couch. I looked up at Connor as he walked towards me and gave him a sheepish smile, my poor attempt at acknowledging his presence.

He sat down, in the same position, both our eyes fixed on the blank T.V screen in front of us. Normally, the busy streets below us couldn't be heard, but today the depth of our silence was accentuating every sound.

“I'm sorry, Lynn.” Connor's voice was so quiet I had to look over at him to make sure his mouth was actually moving. Without looking, his hand slide across the floor and laid on top of mine.

“Connor...” I pulled my hand from underneath his and placed it on top. “I'm sorry, too.” He finally looked over at me.

“No, you shouldn't be. It was my fault.” He rested his arms on his knees and leaned his head against his hands. “I should have just been open with you. But, I wasn't ready to talk about it. And I don't think you're jealous, that just came from a place of feeling like I was being cornered. And you know my hot headed Boston ass can't handle being cornered.” I smiled at Connor's self description as I stared down at the space between us. “I know you were coming from a good place and I just had to walk away from the situation before either one of us said something else we didn't mean. I want you to know that I'm trying, Lynn.”

When Connor first left the apartment I didn't know how to feel. I was so aggravated that things had gotten so far. As time passed I realized that the things that had been said were petty. I suddenly started seeing myself in Connor's position and realized that, as much as it was both of our faults, I could have prevented the situation. The more time passed, the fonder I became of Connor. I hadn't realized how much my attachment to him had grown until the threads of our relationship began to pull.

“I really don't want to fight with you anymore, Lynn.” Connor's voice lulled.

“I know sometimes we fight, and it doesn't mean anything, but today when you left it made me realize that I really don't want to fight with you either.” Connor turned his body towards me and sat Indian-style. “And...” I paused to carefully choose my words while I turned towards him and sat in the same position. “The reason I never tell you how you make me feel is because it's indescribable.” I took both his hands in mine. “One minute I want to choke you, and the next I just want you to be the big spoon and cuddle.” Connor's laughter filled the room and lightened the mood. “Every time you look at me, I feel like the prettiest girl in the world. When our skin touches, chills run through my spine. There's nothing I like more than being around you, Connor. I'm so proud of everything you've accomplished. You make me want to be more ambitious with my future.”

“Shh...” Connor brought his hands up to my face. I hadn't realized the tears streaming down my cheeks until his thumbs lightly brushed them away.

He gently pulled me forward and kissed me. It was the slowest kiss filled with the most passion.

After a minute I pulled away and looked up at him, “Promise me something” We kissed again, this time Connor pulled me into his lap.

“Anything” He whispered between kisses.

He leaned his body back until he was laying on the floor, my body over his,“Promise me you won't leave me like that again”

He rolled over so I was pinned between him and the floor. “I promise” he looked in my eyes before he leaned down to kiss me again.

We spent the rest of our day talking, and talking, until the only way left to express ourselves was through the motion of our bodies.


Sunday after breakfast, Connor went into work and I went home to catch up on my studying.

Just as I opened my anatomy book my phone began ringing. It was Kadie. Adam was out for the day and she wanted to stop by.

An hour later she was plopped down on the couch in my apartment. “Lynn, what did you and Adam talk about the other night?”

My heart started beating faster, not knowing where Kadie was going with this. “What do you mean?”

“You know, when he walked you to the subway station” Kadie was playing with her nails when she looked up at me.

“Why? What happened?” I avoided the question, hoping Kadie couldn't see how nervous I was.

“Oh, nothing.” She turned back to look at her nails. “It's just, Adam's been acting weird since that night, and I thought he might have told you something.”

“Weird, like how?” I asked.

Kadie sighed and leaned her head back on the couch cushion. “Like, he never really cared what I was doing, but then suddenly yesterday he was all up in my business, making sure he knew what I was doing. I don't know, maybe I'm just the one being weird.”

“Maybe” Before I could say anything else Kadie's phone rang.

“Oh shit, it's Eva.” She answered her phone and walked away to the kitchen.

She was on the phone for a while so I decided to clean up the living room since I hadn't been home all weekend. As I was organizing the books on my coffee table Kadie walked back over to me. She was still on the phone. Her eyes grew wide and her jaw was dropped.

I couldn't help but laugh at her expression. I figured she was going to be working on a cool new project and was excited to share the news. A few seconds later she hung up her phone.

“Lynn!” I looked over at her, surprised she wasn't smiling. “Eva's sending me to LA for two weeks for a project.”

“That's great, Kadie!” I cheered, but she was still expressionless “What's wrong?”

“She told me I'm working with Jonah's team...”

I dropped the book in my hand. Kadie and I stood silently in the middle of the living room staring at each other.


  1. That cliffhanger! :o
    Love this blog, can't wait for Thursdays post!

  2. I love this blog. I hate Connor and his character. Nothing to do with Jonah. I dislike immensely that a woman who can hold her own with practically everything takes entirely too much responsibility for her boyfriend's asshat attitude. Connor is a baby and he has an excuse for his continual bad behavior. That is getting old. I wish he would go away.

  3. Love triangle!! Just the mention of Jonah's name excites me! I can't wait for him to come back to New York. Lynn is going to have a pretty hard time choosing between these dreamboats. And poor Kadie; she's still out of the loop. Spill the beans Lynn!

  4. I like both relationships, and love how different they are from each other and they probably make Lynn feel different as well.. I'm excited to find out who she is choosing!!

  5. I hate Jonah. He's so boring. I'm honestly tired of the love triangle idea. You can have drama and tension etc without needing to write in two people that Lynn can't choose between. This blog has been my favourite but I will not be reading anymore with a petty love triangle storyline.

    1. Just a ray of sunshine, aren't you?

    2. What's so wrong with having your own opinion? Everyone's entitled to one.

    3. Basically telling the author you won't be reading the blog if a story line you don't like happens, is unnecessary. You can do whatever you like.. But there's a fine line between stating your opinion and being a jerk. That's all.

    4. Oh whatever. Your comment is irrelevant. That's all.

    5. "I wish we could all get along like we used to in middle school... I wish I could bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat and be happy"


  6. If I'm being honest, I still want Lynn to end up with Jonah. I like Connor, I really do. But I really don't see myself straying from team Jonah anytime soon. Jonah and Lynn just seemed to bring out this goofiness in each other and their relationship was so natural. They just seemed to get each other. I know we haven't seen much of her relationship with Connor yet, but I just feel that Lynn was more herself and more happy with Jonah. Again, not saying I don't like Connor because I do! That's just my opinion. And I agree with Courtney! Just seeing Jonah's name makes me super excited!! #bringJonahback ;)

    - Holly

  7. I liked Lynn with Jonah, but I like her with Connor so much more. I think Connor challenges her, and he is willing to fight for what he wants. Not so much with Jonah. Also it really does say something that when Jonah originally went to LA she planned on spending the night before with Connor.

  8. That's right concerning the previous commentor! Jonah has also not put effort into even trying to see Lynn since he left to go to LA. He has more of a flexible schedule than she does. Lynn should've guessed this might happen at some point since his firm is w kadie's company. It's Kadie going, not Lynn anyway.
    Spill the info to Kadie. She is your best friend!!
    Team Connor !

    1. Jonah is one of the head writers for a show on national television that was just moved to LA from NYC because of it's popularity. I'm not sure how anyone thinks it would have been possible or even in the realm of reality for him to have stayed in NYC because he just met a woman he started dating. Nor do I understand how anyone could think he has more flexibility in his schedule than Lynn does - they're likely equally booked. Although you wouldn't know it to read about her life. He may have more money at his disposal, but being dedicated to his career isn't something I hold against his character.

    2. Jonah could have easily picked up the phone and called Lynn numerous times, but he didn't. I think that is the point the OP was trying to make.

    3. ^ Umm, yes he did. We may have never read a direct conversation over the phone between the two, but in the post right after Jonah left it says "we were still keeping in touch with each other through texts and occasional phone calls." So yeah, maybe we didn't read anything about what they actually talked about, but it was still mentioned that he kept in touch once he left...

  9. Yeah, it's Kadie going to LA, not Lynn. I don't see it being a big deal until Jonah comes back to NY. She can't lie about the Adam/Poppy thing or it will blow up in her face. mum

  10. I really don't understand why people keep saying that Jonah didn't fight for Lynn or never cared enough to visit her after he left. He repeatedly said that he wanted to try long-distance with Lynn, but Lynn was the one that said no. And then, after they spent valentine's weekend together, he told her again but Lynn resisted and told him to move on. What do you expect? He's doesn't want to make himself look like a desperate loser. And you can't blame him for having to move to LA. It was for his job! His dream career!! He wasn't going to give that up for Lynn, when he'd only met her a couple months beforehand. Clearly it wasn't easy for him, but you really can't hold that one against the guy. As much as I wanted him to come to the wedding, I'm glad he didn't. Lynn told him to move on, yet there she was a couple weeks later asking him to be her date to the wedding. How could he move on when she kept trying to pull him back in? It's just my opinion, but I really don't think it's fair to say he didn't try or didn't care enough. I still hope at the end of it all, they end up back together.

    And sorry this is so long! I just wanted to get my point across :)

  11. I agree with the comment above, Jonah was always putting effort into their relationship. I was so excited when her and Connor had the fight I was like maybe they will break up :) ....then :( they didn't..

  12. I don't even know how I feel about all this right now, I love Lynn and Connor now but I used to love Jonah but I don't know..